Reality TV’s turkeys of the year

There's never a shortage of turkeys in reality TV. Last year, in our inaugural Turkey of the Year awards, Donald Trump and "American Idol" reject William Hung topped our lists.

This year, Trump passed his crown on to fellow "Apprentice" host Martha Stewart, who's just one of the deserving dishonorees this year. We've also gathered some of your feedback and will share your nominees. (We'll get back to answering your questions after the holiday.)

Gael says: Martha, Martha, Martha. According to reports, you thought your version of "The Apprentice" might result in you firing The Donald. Instead, both shows dropped in the ratings this year, and yours won't be back again. It's almost a shame: As a fan of the late, great "Wickedly Perfect," I had hopes that Martha could recapture that vibe. "Perfect" candidates were less businessy and more artsy-crafty — ribbon rosemakers, not realtors — and they took on more artsy challenges, which were fun to watch. There's no question Stewart has business acumen, but that's not why she has such a fanatic following. If her contestants had to make a croquembouche rather than sell coffeemakers, Stewart's "Apprentice" could have distinguished itself from Trump's, and her army of fans might have tuned in. It's like our parents always told us: Be an original, the world doesn't need more copies.

As if "American Idol" didn't get enough publicity, last spring, former contestant Corey Clark claimed that "Idol" judge Paula Abdul coached him, helped buy him clothes, and started a sexual relationship with him. The resounding reaction from viewers: Corey WHO? ABC devoted an entire "Primetime Live" special to Clark's charges. While it did seem that Abdul and Clark had some kind of relationship, Clark's proof, if any, was vague and unclear, he later refused to help FOX investigate his claims, and — surprise, surprise! — he turned out to be hawking a CD and a proposed book. The best part of the "scandal" was an almost-funny skit mocking the ABC special that appeared on the "Idol" finale.

Every year, there are a couple of reality-show contestants who don't seem to realize what they've gotten themselves into. Often those folks are on "Survivor," and after a week or two or low rations, they up and quit. This year, my turkey nominee is Cassandra, from "America's Next Top Model."

Cassandra was a beauty-pageant veteran who was appalled at the thought that her pageant looks might need some improving. When the girls got makeovers and Cassandra's hair was chopped almost to Mia Farrow-in-"Rosemary's Baby"-length. She wept as though each stroke of the scissors was going through her skin instead of her hair, and when she learned that host Tyra Banks didn't consider her hair short enough, she beat a hasty retreat back to the world of sashes, tiaras, and royal waves. Girl, thousands of other wannabe competitors were rejected for this show so they could let you on, and for quitting and crying about it, you're a true turkey.

Andy says: It was another great year for reality TV turkeys, and thus it's hard to name just one turkey. For me, the turkeys came in pairs this year.

Although Paris Hilton and Nicole Richie aren't speaking to one another (as if we care), production continued on a fourth season of "The Simple Life." The show was exceptionally entertaining its first season and completely moronic in its fakeness in seasons three and four. Sensing troubled waters, FOX declined to pick up the series. If FOX rejects you, you're definitely over. Rumor has it that other networks may be interested, but no one has bitten yet, perhaps because they'll get a mouthful of yesterday's quasi-celebrities.

Another pair met for the first time on "The Surreal Life 5": obnoxious "Apprentice" Omarosa and obnoxious former "Top Model" judge Janice Dickinson. Both have developed reality TV personas that require them to be "on" all the time and get as much camera time as possible. Predictably, they clashed on the show, with Janice pretending to stab Omarosa, and with Omarosa calling Janice a "crack whore" repeatedly. This is what happens when people stop getting polite and start getting phony to increase their celebrity.

But "Survivor" stars and "Amazing Race 7" villains Rob and Amber are my main reality TV turkeys of the year, because even though they lost "The Amazing Race 7," they didn't lose in such a way as to forever prove Rob's lameness.

You'll recall that Rob lost "Survivor," then was the runner-up in "Survivor All-Stars," essentially losing yet again. He came into "The Amazing Race" with something to prove, and he changed the game as a result. His scheming and nastiness were at once inventive and horrifying, and he helped make team-to-team conflict (and cooperation) and almost necessary part of the race.

Props to him. But he and his teammate also came in second place. However, that was because of an extremely controversial event: a plane reopened its doors to pick up another team, the team that eventually beat them to the finish line, Romber cried "producer intervention!", others cried "shut up, spoiled sports!" Either way, we'll never have resolution, and for that, they're full of stuffing.

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