TV’s top 10 scariest characters

The scariest characters of fiction aren't limited to Stephen King novels or "Friday the 13th" sequels. They come out on the small screen as well, in both animated and human form, as children and the elderly, men and women.

Four MSNBC.com writers have compiled our list of the 10 scariest characters in TVland. We set some ground rules: They had to be fictional, so no reality TV villains. They had to be on a show that is still making new episodes, so no Archie Bunker or Schillinger from "Oz."

Here's our resulting list. You might want to read it with every light in the house blazing.

1. Charles Montgomery Burns, ‘The Simpsons’

His exact age is open for dispute. The wonderful online Simpsons archive notes that he is 81 in one episode and 104 in another. In another, it's mentioned that he graduated from Yale in 1914, which would make him ... just really darn old. (As if you couldn't tell from his preferred telephone greeting, "Ahoy hoy!")

Mr. Burns is the horrible boss we've all had at one time or another, times a billion. He cheats at games during the company picnic. He laughs when a window washer outside his office falls to his death. He dumps nuclear waste at a playground (but not anymore — "All those bald children are arousing suspicion.") Randomly looking to one-up the union, he eliminates the company dental plan. He even plans to block out the sun ("my greatest nemesis still provides our customers with free lights, heat and energy.") When he's shot, in a classic "Simpsons" cliffhanger that mimics "Who Shot J.R.?" on "Dallas," it's easy to believe that anyone could have done it.

Burns is terrifying because he will do absolutely anything, and since it's a cartoon, he just might. In the episode "Two Dozen and One Greyhounds," he gets his hands on the Simpsons' puppies, and a la Cruella DeVil, plans to make them into a tuxedo. ("See my loafers, former gophers, it was that, or skin my chauffeurs.")

It's easy to pretend he couldn't be real, but the very scariest part about Burns is that he almost could be. His sycophantic lackey, Smithers, is the yes-man to end all yes-men, yet we see similar relationships in our non-animated world every day. Just watch George and Carolyn falling all over themselves to congratulate Donald Trump on yet another inspired firing each week on "The Apprentice." Come to think of it, Trump's hair is looking a little greyhoundy lately.   —Gael Fashingbauer Cooper

2. Eric Cartman, ‘South Park’

Comedy Central Ah, Cartman, the kid who bought an entire amusement park just so he could shut everyone else out of it.

He’s dressed up as a Klansman for Halloween, pretended to be the Tooth Fairy to steal teeth, and used a hand puppet to seduce Ben Affleck. Is he Satan? Karl Rove? Nope — he’s Eric Cartman, the demonic fourth-grader from “South Park,” a bundle of pure, unadulterated evil all wrapped up in a fat — er, big-boned — cartoony package.

South Park’s enfant terrible is terrifying not for what he’s done, but for what he is capable of. If there’s one kid who’s already purchased a one-way ticket to eternal damnation, it’s the plump little demon in the blue stocking cap. The boy simply ain’t right. And his two-dimensional existence allows creators Trey Parker and Matt Stone to have Cartman act out whatever his demented little mind can dream up in a way that would have flesh-and-blood actors huddled in a corner, whimpering.

Cartman takes a feral delight in his evildoing. What happens when older student Scott Tenorman cons Cartman out of $20? Cartman sets up an elaborate scheme that ends with Tenorman happily eating chili — with his mother and father as the main ingredients. “Na na na na na na. I made you eat your parents,” Cartman excitedly taunts, then licks Scott’s face, cooing “Mmm...Your tears are so yummy and sweet."

“Dude, I think it might be best for us to never piss Cartman off again,” says a horrified Kyle. Good call.    —Brian Bellmont

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