The playbook for a perfect tailgate

(4) Feel the chill. Nothing's more important than ice, ice and more ice. Joachim has an entire ice strategy: Keep your cooling ice and your ice for drinks separate.  You can buy a bag of ice for drinks and an ice block to keep your food cool.  Bring different coolers for raw foods that need to be cooked and for prepared foods.  Cooling packs may be even better, since they don't melt and leak water into your food.

Vinegar-based salads can probably sit without refrigeration for a couple hours — though it wouldn't hurt to cover them with plastic wrap — but Joachim recommends dairy-based salads be eaten within two hours of being taken off ice. (Both books devote ample space to food-safety issues, which tailgating is fraught with.)

One handy tip from Sloan: Part of your advance planning should include a schedule so you have time to chill your cold items before you pack them into the cooler.  Food that's already been chilled in the fridge will melt ice far slower than if it's placed into the cooler at room temperature.

(5) Remember the essentials. You'd be amazed what people forget on their way to the stadium. Tailgating means Boy Scout motto time, and it's worth making a list well in advance. Some items that are easy to forget: enough chairs; adequate ice (because you know the convenience store only runs out when you need extra); a full bag of charcoal, if you're using it; weights to hold down tablecloths or canopies.

Sloan's "survival kit" list includes: cutting boards, mixing bowls, serving platters, a can opener, paper towels and more.  Among the items on Joachim's frighteningly comprehensive checklist: antacid, jumper cables, sunblock.

And unless you've got a portajohn with a trailer hitch, check in advance where the facilities are located in relation to your moveable feast.

(6) Location, location, location. The modern tailgating lot has its own cliques, so it pays to know the layout in advance. Keep an eye out for groupings of people. If you aren't feeling comfortable surrounded by shirtless men headbutting each other, check where the kids and grandparents are hanging out. "Even though they're ferociously attached to the team, they're not going to be burning anything in effigy," says Sloan. So we hope.

If you're tailgating at an opposing team's stadium, Joachim suggests checking out fan Web sites for tips in advance. It's like visiting eastern Europe: You're more likely to get a warm reception if you know a few local customs.

(7) Did you bring enough for everyone? The way to a tailgater's heart — and ego — is through his stomach. Even sharing your snacks will help you make friends with your neighbors, and a great plate can help build a grudging respect, especially if you're on hostile ground.

"I think if you're a visiting team fan and you bring a good brisket over to a home team fan, they dont care what team youre cheering for," Joachim says. 

(8) It really is about bragging rights. The helpful tips are all well and good, but the tailgate is a chance to prove your open-fire skills.  So which guy has the better tailgating chops?

"I think I could take him," insists Joachim.

Sloan doesn't blink: "I'll meet him on a grill of his choosing."

We're awaiting a firm date for the inevitable grill-off — and we'll gladly lend our stomachs to help decide this grudge match. Joachim nominates his beer and coffee steaks. Sloan proposes his Southwestern style baby-back ribs.

Judge for yourself.

MSNBC.com lifestyle editor Jon Bonne is still out at the grill.  He can follow the game on the radio.