For ‘Apprentice,’ it's just like old times

Donald Trump isn't usually one who makes understatements. But when he told one of the new "Apprentice" teams that "people don't really change," he was being far too subtle and diplomatic as he was probably unintentionally describing himself and his reality show. As "The Apprentice 4" began, viewers immediately knew that Donald Trump and company had returned, and neither age nor time had changed anything.

The superlatives and exaggerations were unquestionably back: Trump started by telling us that "these candidates are by far the most talented group I've ever assembled," which was a lot more meaningful when he said basically the same thing during seasons three, two, and one.

Also making a return was Donald the sexist. He split the teams by sex, incomprehensibly explaining that decision by saying, "Sometimes it's hard telling you apart; this way, it's a lot easier." Later, he couldn't help but say repeatedly how beautiful the women were. Oh, and talented, too. Right.

George and Carolyn were back, of course, although Trump introduced them not as executives, but as the "two very famous people" they've become since the series debuted more than a year and a half ago.

Trump's self-congratulatory side also reappeared. "My television show has given me access to some incredible talents," he said, noting that his choices -- Bill, Kelly, and Kendra -- had all worked out perfectly, making "invaluable additions to the Trump Organization."

The boy inside the billionaire made a return as well. Trump kicked off the competition by sending the candidates on a scavenger hunt; they were looking for his helicopter, which was hidden somewhere at Trump National Golf Club. How much fun would it be to hide your helicopter and then make 18 people wearing tailored suits and business attire run around a golf course looking for it?

Best of all, the boardroom was back. Not to be confused with Martha's bright, friendly conference room, Trump's boardroom has only small pools of light, and he emerges from the darkness to cast judgment on those who have disappointed him. The boardroom is where each episode crescendos, and this episode was no exception.

What also didn't change was the baffling stupidity of some of the candidates, and that's what made the boardroom fireworks all the more spectacular.

The men's team, calling themselves Excel, waited around for their cease-and-desist from Microsoft and made faces at their project manager, Markus, who initially protested being appointed leader. During the task, he solicited feedback from his teammates. "Is there anything that I either should be doing or could be doing better?" he asked, and they stared at him blankly. Josh told us, "Are you joking? Get some balls!" Of course, had they lost, Markus would have probably been blamed for not listening to his team.

Although Excel ultimately won the task, Markus still found himself on the other side of Trump's squinty-annoyed face. First, when Trump called to find out the team name, Markus babbled incomprehensibly into the phone. Later, at his team's reward dinner with Trump, Markus told us, "I thought this was a huge opportunity for me to connect with him, for me to build a rapport with him." Instead, it turned out to be an opportunity for Trump to make fun of him. "Do you think Markus talks a lot?" he asked another Excel team member, quickly letting the boys know that he likes his brown-nosing to be brief.

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