Getting your kids off to a good start at school

Making the transition from fun summer days to the school year is a tough one for both parents and kids alike.  But with a little planning, you can make sure your student is ready for reading, writing, arithmetic and all that it entails. Clinical psychologist Dr. Ruth Peters shares advice on how to start the school year off right.

We all want a smooth transition from summer to school, but face it folks, that’s probably not going to happen! The time for staying up late, sleeping in, wearing PJ’s most of the day and hanging out with friends is quickly coming to an end as summer wanes and the back-to-school sales are in full force. So, whether your child is attending grade-, middle- or high school, there are some areas and issues that need to be dealt with, discussed and delegated as school winds up again. Ready? Let’s take a look at what you can do now to help your child get off to a good start at school!

Set expectations reasonably and wisely

Early morning expectations
Start now by slowly lowering the bedtime at night so that the alarm clock will not seem to ring so early the following morning.  Even if your child does not, at this time, need to get up early, do begin this regimen to get their body clock back into sync with the school bus schedule and the responsibilities that need to take place before leaving the house in the morning.

Review whether showers will be taken at night or first thing in the morning, and I suggest that brushing teeth and hair, getting fully dressed (including shoes and socks) all occur before coming to the breakfast table. Parents “lose” their kids at breakfast as they memorize the back of the cereal box, so let’s get work (dressing) completed before play (box-reading) and nix the television or electronic games before school. Also, consider the new school dress codes that are arriving this fall when shopping at the mall — many schools are putting the kibosh on sleeveless tops and shorts that end more than 2 inches above the knee.  Check your local school district’s Web site for specifics so that you don’t waste money on clothing that can’t be used.

The point of planning ahead in terms of getting ready on time is to lower the early morning drama that attacks almost all households the first few weeks of school — so think ahead, plan and set up the necessary structure for your children.  A chart of what must be completed before breakfast, taped onto the refrigerator or bathroom mirror, will make it clear what needs to be accomplished so that your children are ready on time.

Expectations regarding friends
Especially if your child hung around with some not-so-desirable buddies last school year, it’s a good idea at this time to discuss a few folks who you will be discouraging your child having friendships with, but also focus on the ones that you trust and feel are good friends and role models for your children. Stress that your child’s friends should be reasonably courteous, not get into trouble at school, take school seriously and receive at least average grades. Your child may balk at your “picking his friends for him,” but you have the right and the responsibility as a parent to promote kids with good values and behaviors. Remember, who your child hangs around with at school may be out of your control, but you certainly hold the reins to after-school and weekend activities.

Expectations for grades, behaviors, detentions and the consequences that follow
This is an excellent time to review your grade expectations for your child. Consider previous years and gauge your child’s true ability on past grades and teacher reports as well as standardized testing.  And then, raise the bar a bit.  Numerous psychological studies have shown that kids who were expected by parents and teachers to perform higher than would be predicted from their actual intellectual tests do perform better — basically, if kids think that they can do it, they can! So, be specific — “No grade below a B unless there is a specific problem that we are aware of and are working on” may fit your child, or a higher or lower expectation may be appropriate. Also discuss what consequences will occur at home if detentions, tardiness or school skipping occurs. These should be dealt with seriously, and home-based consequences such as weekend freedoms, electronics usage, bedtimes, curfews or allowances can be attached to behavior and performance at school.

Set up an effective and efficient organizational system
A good organizational study skills system involves four parts which should be completed on a daily basis: the planner must be filled out for each class/subject (homework due, next test topic and date); all necessary materials to complete homework should be brought home; homework needs to be completed cooperatively and accurately before play or electronics use takes over the afternoon or evening; and the book bag needs to be readied for the next morning and placed at a specified location. A good motivator to accomplish this efficiently and accurately is that playtime and electronics only begin after all four steps have been checked by the parent as having been completed appropriately.

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