When gamers become parents

“Golden Eye: 007” also made an impact in the home of Matthew Ford, a game developer who lives with his wife and 10-year-old son in Australia.

In an e-mail to MSNBC.com, Ford explained the dilemma: “I did not think he was ready for the concept of why it’s sometimes okay to sneak up behind a security guard, in his own country, and shoot him in the back of the head, because he was working for an uncontrolled party in possession of a dangerous weapon.”

Ford, a former lead program manager for the PC online role playing games “Asheron's Call” and “Asheron's Call 2,” described his professional vocation as making games that "explore themes of good and evil, and help people appreciate both the power and fragility of good deeds."

Ford and his son have explored these themes together.

He let his son, then eight, play “Dungeon Keeper,” a PC game where the player acts as an evil dungeon master because, explained Ford, he felt his son had a solid grasp on satire and irony to understand that the dungeon master's deeds were “obviously over the top.”

Game developer Matthew Ford says he's not sure he would have been able to hold his son's attention for a discussion on good and evil had it not been grounded in a video game.

“As a result we had several very good conversations about what defines evil, why doing evil things can be attractive, and why it can be fun to act out in a game, even though to do that in real life would be wrong.”

“Fable,” the M-for-Mature role-playing game where players can opt between good and evil deeds in a quasi-medieval world triggered discussions that, said Ford, “taught me as much as him.”

“I'm certain that I'd not have had these opportunities to hold his attention on these matters and get him really thinking without these games to provide the glue.”

Parenting first, gamer second
Not all parents can engage in the existential dilemmas posed by a video game.  Nor would the majority want to — especially those busy parents who don't know the difference between Nintendo's Mario and “Grand Theft Auto's” Tommy.

Game professionals have an advantage in that they love the medium and that they value the time they spend playing video games with their kids, seeing it as a time to bond, communicate and learn from their children.

At Lord's home in Montreal, video game playing is the main living room activity. “We have a big room with TV and controllers  We don’t go into the corners to play,” she said.

Rechtschaffner enjoys playing sports games against his sons. “I’m half ashamed to say that my kids and their friends have been a testing group for me," he said. "It’s always fun to see what they like and they don’t like.”

If there's one thing that all parents interviewed agreed upon, it’s that the time spent video gaming be kept at a minimum.

"It’s not about games, it's about media," said Ubisoft's Lord. “Any time that takes attention away from studying is not allowed.”

Ford makes sure that his son, Dylan, uses a digital kitchen timer to track "screen time."  Dylan is allowed one hour for every day in school. He can save up hours, but Ford said Dylan usually runs the timer down to zero every day.

At Rechtschaffner’s house, video games are kept to one hour a day. “There’s so much other stuff I’d like to get to as part of the balance,” he said.

Still, he said, he'd rather have his kids play video games then watch television.

"In a game you’re going through thought processes, problem solving, learning how to compete, to deal with failure ... so many things you do because you are participating.”

Ford agreed.

“I actually welcome them in my son's life as a fun activity, a workout for the mind, a spur to meaningful conversation, a cathartic experience, and a window into his thoughts and feelings.”

“I wouldn't wish for a world without these vexing forms of entertainment.”

MSNBC's Tom Loftus is the father of a 6-month-old daughter. She has yet to figure out the Xbox.

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