A message from beyond the grave

In the year 2000, Ricky Rodriguez, then aged 25, and no longer the blessed "Davidito" of years ago, made his break, disgusted with the secretive religious group into which he'd been born. But once in the real world, he found, like so many others who left, that he had no way to cope.

Chancellor: They went out into this strange world. They went out, oftentimes, without resources, both financial resources and educational or social skills. And they struggled greatly.

Julia McNeil says she was absolutely lost when she left at age 19.

McNeil: How do I even interact with people in the real world? You know, I've never taken a bus, you know, or used a vending machine.

To survive, she says, she exploited the one skill she learned from the church: She became a prostitute. And before long, attempted suicide.

Julia pulled her life together and helped form a support group for former church members. They connected on a Web site called movingon.org.

The group claims that at least 25 former members of the "Children of God" killed themselves over the past 13 years. The religion itself says those numbers are exaggerated, and actually claims that the rate of suicide among former members is lower than it is for the population as a whole. There is no way to verify any of those numbers.

Still some of the survivors began to wonder. Shouldn't the people who raised us pay for our pain?

In fact, the church has apologized and says it has moved on, too. It has a new name: "The Family." And as of the late 1980s, there was no more flirty fishing, and a theology renouncing child sex, threatening to excommunicate any member who has sex with a child.

David Berg died in 1994.

The group says, what's past is past. But Ricky Rodriguez, the former Davidito, could not let the past go. 

He contacted his mother, now leader of "The Family", and demanded money.

Morrison: And for $40,000, he would go away and leave them alone, and--

Chancellor: That's what the correspondence that I saw indicated. Yes.

But his mother refused to pay. At the time Rick said he wasn't bitter, but that clearly changed as time went on even though he found work and got married.

His wife is a former member of the group. Her name is Elixcia. She was interviewed by NBC affiliate KVOA. she asked us to obscure her identity.

Elixcia: He was a very sad person. He was a very sad person. He dealt with a lot, a lot of depression.

Depression and, eventually, rage.

“There's this need that I have, this need, it's not a want, it's a [expletive] need and I wish it wasn't but it is. It's a need, for revenge. It's a need for justice. Because I can't go on like this.”

Ricky was obsessed with the fate of his siblings in the group, guilt-ridden at the idea that the story of Davidito — his book — may have encouraged more sexual abuse. His memories of "The Family" consumed him.

“You know, if it had just gotten a little better, a little better, even emotionally, mentally for me, it would have been OK. It would have given me hope. But it's gotten worse. Every [expletive] day has been a little worse than the day before.”

Rick moved to Tucson, Arizona and made contact with a long time church member named Angela Smith. She'd been a secretary to Ricky's mom, and knew him as a boy.

James Chancellor interviewed her for his book.

Chancellor: Wonderful person as far as I knew. I don't believe there's any evidence that she was involved in mistreatment of this child or the sexual exploitation of him. But, of course, she was there and cognizant of all that went on.

But Ricky didn't look up Angela to discuss old times. He had a chilling plan. His mother, as head of "The Family", always kept her whereabouts secret. Ricky wanted to find her. And he was going to force Angela Smith to tell him where she was whatever it took.

“I'm not trained in torture methods, which is why I'm going to have to make do (shows drill to camera). I got my drill here. The reason why it’s got this [expletive] padding on it is just to try to silence it a bit because I’m in an apartment. Um, I got gags, [expletive] socks (laughs), I got lots of [expletive] duct tape. Um, I got a soldering iron, heat, a rather crude implement (holds up fork) I think can work wonders especially if it's used in the right way. But I'm not trained. I don't know how to [expletive] do this. I don't even want to [expletive] do this. 

On January 8, after making this videotape, Ricky Rodriguez invited Angela Smith to his apartment. Police say there is no evidence that he tortured her, but he did stab her to death. If she told him where his mom was, he did not go there. Instead, he drove to Blythe, California.

On the way he called his wife, Elixcia.

Elixcia: He thought that killing her would make him feel better. He's like, don't let anyone ever tell you that taking someone's life is easy, he said it was the hardest thing I ever did in my life. He said it was so hard.

He checked into a motel in Blythe. But he didn't stay there. Instead, Ricky Rodriguez drove his car to a crossroads and shot himself in the head.

"These are very trying, difficult circumstances for our fellowship," says Claire Borowik who speaks for "The Family." She says the group deeply regrets the deaths of both Angela Smith and Ricky Rodriguez. But that it is not responsible for them.

Borowik: When Ricky Rodriquez left the organization, there was the intent for him to do well. And for him to be helped to the best their ability. But then he began to demand that, "Well, if you don't pay me "x" amount of money, then I'm going to cause harm to 'The Family.' And of course his parents explained to him that, we've been helping you for quite awhile now. And you're on your feet. And, you know, you'll have to do what you have to do."

"The Family" acknowledges that some church members may have harmed children in the past. But it also says that despite criminal investigations and civil charges, it has never lost a case in court. Borowik says the church has changed its ways now. And it urged former members to move on. And then she said something remarkable about Ricky Rodriguez.

Borowik: Ricky had the lord and he's in the lord's hands now. So, we know that he's in good hands despite the terrible circumstances around it.

That answer makes it seem as if even after this terrible incident, somehow, Ricky is forgiven for it?

Borowik: We're Christians. Christianity is about forgiveness.

Even for that?

Borowik: Even for that. I have no doubt that he's repented very deeply of what he did.

Whether Ricky Rodriguez ever repented we cannot know. These were the last words he left:

“Keep fighting, keep the faith, all that other stuff. Some day, in some way, some of us are going to be around to see those [expletive] burn, literally or figuratively, they're going down. And so, with that happy thought, I shall leave you.”

And whether all those other damaged children to whom he addressed his tape ever learn to forgive the church to which they were born, they all know now too graphically that the blessed boy they called Davidito could not.

While the controversy over the "Children of God" continues, "The Family" claims to have some 12,000 members today, working in ministries in more than 100 countries. 

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