8. Annabella Sciorra, 41
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Jennifer Graylock / AP file
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Consider myself just one of many men who rue the day Gloria Trillo died in the fourth season of “The Sopranos.” Tony thought
he was heartbroken? C’mon! Take some raw meat in the face for the team, big guy... As with Susan Sarandon, I didn’t find Annabella particularly sexy in her younger days (“Jungle Fever”), or her mom days (“The Hand that Rocks the Cradle”) or her idyllic wife days (“What Dreams May Come”), but as Gloria Trillo she smoked. Some combination of the right lingerie and the right sexual aggressiveness. In 2001, when the third season of “The Sopranos” aired, men all over the country were picking their jaws up off the floor, and, as a result, I assumed Annabella would soon be getting plum roles in movies. Nope. Just one of those “Law & Order” TV shows. Not sure who’s running the studios these days and why they’re not listening to their gut, but you’d think they’d at least listen to that body part slightly to its south.
7. Jessica Alba, 24
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Stephen Chernin / AP file
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OK, she’s on the list because she’s too hot
not to put on the list, but the girl’s got to watch her pretty mouth. “Entertainment Weekly” made her No. 3 of their 122 People and Things You Must Whatever This Summer, and, in the interview segment, she complained that she’s sick of being stereotyped as “this exotic, strong-minded, kick-butt action” star. In other words, she’s complaining that people see her for what she’s done, not what she wants to do. Darling, if we were all seen for what we wanted to do, there would be 10 million Jessica Albas running around Hollywood. Which wouldn’t be a bad thing – unless you’re Jessica Alba.
6. Cameron Diaz, 32
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Frederick M. Brown / Getty Images file
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Whenever I worry that I’m a candidate for Oprah’s couch by equating bitchiness with sexiness (see: Gloria Trillo; Sigourney in “Ice Storm”), Cameron comes along to save, or at least momentarily pardon, my soul. Because she’s sexiest when she’s most innocent. Think of the unabashed way she danced in “The Mask” and the unselfconscious way she danced in her underwear in “Charlie’s Angels,” and the way her eyes lit up when she greeted Ben Stiller’s Ted Stroehmann in “There’s Something About Mary.” She’s sexiest when she plays an uncomplicated girl who just wants to have fun.
5. Salma Hayek, 38
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Lionel Cironneau / AP file
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Before Tenoch and Julio begin their adventures in “Y Tu Mama Tambien” they spend some time poolside, um, relieving tension. Salma’s is the name that comes up most often. Smart kids. Interestingly, a year later, Tenoch (Diego Luna), became her boyfriend in “Frida.” Shows the power of positive thinking. The rest of us have been thinking positively about Salma since “Desperado,” and thinking more positively about her since “Frida,” but she is still the walking definition of a mixed message. Her eyes say “Don’t mess” but the rest of her can’t help but say: Mess.
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