William Zabka, King of the Jerks
In the 1980s, movie screens across the country were awash with the stories of 98-pound weaklings and frail, bookish nerds. And there to make life miserable for every single one of them was one man: William Zabka, King of the Jerks. With his shock of blond hair and snarky smirk, Zabka played the quintessential pretty-boy bully, awash in testosterone and, probably, Hai Karate. Best known for his turn as Cobra Kai Johnny Lawrence in “The Karate Kid,” Zabka sneered his way into the pop-culture pantheon as Ralph Macchio’s play-dirty arch-nemesis, sweeping Daniel-san’s injured leg during the climactic karate competition, and chasing him with his crew of skeleton-costume-wearing creeps. Zabka would have been cloaked in pure evil no matter what kind of outfit he wore, whether it was the red Speedo and caveman costume he donned while menacing Keith Gordon’s Jason Melon in “Back to School,” or the awesome table-lifting gloves he slipped into to terrorize nerds and loners in the cafeteria in “Just One of the Guys.” Where is he now? Believe it or not, cinema’s biggest bully was nominated for an Oscar in 2004 for “Most,” a film he produced and co-wrote. —Brian Bellmont

Post-movie bloopers
ANCHORMAN
Universal Studios
The public’s hunger for televised bloopers may have built additions onto Ed McMahon and Dick Clark’s mansions, but there’s still nothing like sitting in a darkened theater and watching goofs as the credits start to roll. “The Cannonball Run” and its ilk made the best use of post-flick flubs, with Burt Reynolds and Dom DeLuise goofing around while the credits crawled. Silly? Sure. But you’ve got to admit that seeing DeLuise laugh pants-peeingly hard certainly beats reading the names of the best boy and key grip. Thanks to Reynolds and crew, today’s audiences are conditioned to pause a bit after a movie, waiting to see if a few extra minutes of entertainment will unspool onto the screen. Disney/Pixar movies like “A Bug’s Life” and “Monsters Inc.” cleverly carried on the tradition with faux flubs. But it’s “Anchorman: The Legend of Ron Burgundy” that really delivered. Not only were bloopers by Will Ferrell, Christina Applegate and company hilarious, they snuck in an actual outtake from “Smokey and the Bandit II.” Now that’s old school. —B.B.

‘Showgirls’

"Showgirls" is infinitely alluring yet maddening: despite the fact that the plot and characters are crudely drawn and fundamentally simple, no individual scene makes any sense whatsoever. I've watched Elizabeth Berkeley thrash her way through her role as stripper Nomi myriad times, never comprehending why her infuriated, psychotic personality has such a hold over every other character onscreen. Minutes after Nomi punches a seamstress, said seamstress offers to take her in as a roommate. Nomi knees a guy in the groin and gets him fired from two jobs; he writes her a song. Even her dancer archrival immediately forgives Nomi for pushing her down a steel staircase and breaking her hip, purring that she "needed a rest." The dialogue is beneath even "Melrose Place": "She jumped to conclusions!" "If it happens again... you're gonna jump to your conclusion!" and "I'm having my period." "That's okay... I got towels." If the rampant toplessness didn't win you over, the unintentional hilarity will. —K.R.

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‘The Other Side of the Mountain’
Universal
Before there was Lifetime television, before there was WE or Oxygen, there was a little film that stood as the pinnacle of the women-in-trauma movement. And that little film was “The Other Side of the Mountain,” which told the true story of Olympic skiing hopeful Jill Kinmont (Marilyn Hassett) who was paralyzed in a tragic skiing accident and learned to cope with her new life with the help of best friend — who also just happened to have polio — Audra Jo (Belinda Montgomery) and the tough love of the charming Dick “Mad Dog” Buek (Beau Bridges), a fellow skier and her first love. This movie is so hokey that even people who enjoy those Meredith Baxter-starring sobfests might find it a bit too tough to take, but, maybe because it was shown about a million times on TV when I was a kid, it just gets to me every time. The fate of Bridges’ Buek is almost too much to bear. It’s very hard to believe this classic isn't playing daily on of Lifetime. Get on that, people! —P.N.

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