Readers speak out on 'Maternity Madness'

In the hundreds of e-mails we received about our recent series titled "Maternity Madness: A nerve-racking nine months," many readers agreed there is a lot of stress surrounding pregnancy nowadays — much of it unnecessary, they said, but some of it well warranted.

"Where was this article when I was pregnant?" asked Pamela Schlegel of Oklahoma City, Okla., in response to "The pregnancy panic attack."

"Reading all the pregnancy books and magazines made me afraid to drink cola or eat a cooked hot dog," she wrote.

But other women wrote in saying that the risks of miscarriage and stillbirth are real, and pregnant women should be worried about them. "I just suffered my second miscarriage and I fully intend to be anxious and concerned when I do get pregnant again," said Georgette Welch of the U.K.

In response to our story about childbirthing controversies, readers said all the choices can be confusing and overwhelming, particularly for first-time moms. But as Lori Mancino of Hermitage, Pa., noted, it's important to keep your eye on the prize: "It didn't matter one way or the other how my child came into this world. It was just important he came."

Expectant dads and seasoned fathers alike wrote to us in response to our piece on a dad's delivery-room anxieties. Kurt Gillon of Chicago, who's expecting his first child in a month, thanked the author for a good laugh — a little comic relief that we assume is probably much-needed about now.

And our story on women having babies solo through sperm donation was met with strong reaction both in favor of and against the practice. Some people said they didn't think it was fair to bring a child into the world without a father. But Regina Mixon of Powder Springs, Ga., said the article helped her make up her mind about having a child on her own: "My husband died six years ago after only 3 1/2 months of marriage, and I have not found anyone that I would want to spend my life with since, but I want children and this story has helped me to make [my] mind up."

Here's a sampling of our reader mail for each story in the series:

The pregnancy panic attack

Thank goodness! Finally, someone else is saying what I've been saying for years. I'm having my fifth child. In each of the pregnancies, I was warned...with tremendous "don't do" lists...Moms need to relax...has anyone mentioned all the problems stress can cause to the fetus? --Anyce LaBouliere, San Marcos, Texas

I had to laugh when I read your article as it is sooo true. I also was on the phone with the doc panicked that I had no negative symptoms of pregnancy, no morning sickness, etc., and yes, I too found the term "blighted ovum." --Lisa Walker, Thornwood N.Y.

I love everything pregnancy-related! It is a joy and a pleasure, as well as a privilege, to be able to bring a beautiful little creature, an extension of your love, into the world. I love the big belly, the boobs, the hips, the anticipation, the special attention, the prenatal classes, the hot flashes, the peeing every hour on the hour while trying to sleep. I love it all. Mostly, the end result: a beautiful, wonderful little baby. --Stacey Bryan, Miami

My first pregnancy ended with a missed miscarriage at 12 weeks, so obviously there are many women out there who have the RIGHT to be anxious and concerned. I just suffered my second miscarriage and I fully intend to be anxious and concerned when I do get pregnant again. -- Georgette Welch, U.K.

After practicing obstetrics for 30 years, I've heard it all. The problem is that today ... the malpractice situation is so bad that obstetricians will try to cover all bases and this scare patients. If we don't tell the patient about something we can get sued for "Lack of Informed Consent" and we must document everything we tell the patient. The rates for malpractice insurance is in the triple figures in many cases and many obstetricians are stopping obstetrics. -- Dr. Howard Groder, Nutley, N.J.

I am 30 weeks pregnant, and I realized after reading this article that I am an anxiety freak. I am a spaz by nature, and now that I am pregnant, my own father rolls his eyes at how I worry about every little detail. And my husband is the same as me; sometimes he is the one that shows more anxiety about if this is OK for the baby, and don't do that, and stay away from this. -- Ana Medero, Lebanon, Tenn.

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