Congratulations, Ben and Jen — now go away

As the saying goes: If at first you don’t succeed, try another Jen.

Ben Affleck and Jennifer Garner reportedly got married Wednesday on a Caribbean island. It happened under a cloak of secrecy, although I’m sure several tabloids will have exclusive photos. And she’s pregnant, which is the worst-kept secret since it got around that Tom and Katie had been seen holding hands.

For Garner, the marriage matters not in terms of her career. She’s a respected actress with a reputation for being positive and upbeat and bringing sunshine wherever she goes, with the possible exception of the box office when “Elektra” came out. If she’s happy walking down the aisle with the man she loves, then we all should throw rice and wish her well. She’s a good person who deserves good wishes.

But Ben is a different issue, and all because of Bad Jen.

Yes, folks, in Ben’s world there is Bad Jen and Good Jen. The former is, of course, Jennifer Lopez, who isn’t bad like Lucifer, but simply a bad influence. Ben and Bad Jen had an extremely high-profile relationship. They were everywhere. You couldn’t drive to the market without getting a Ben-and-Bad Jen update. They were as ubiquitous as Starbucks and not nearly as necessary.

They were such an item, a term entered our lexicon: Bennifer. It served to identify their breathless pairing, but it also worked specifically for him, as it labeled him as the celebrity fool of the moment.

It should be noted that Ben Affleck has never been compared to Sir Laurence Olivier. He is a fine talent, and with some careful handling he could have been a reliable leading man in solid projects who delivers the goods without making you nauseous.

No such luck. As happens often in Hollywood, he took whatever capital he earned in well-received projects like “Chasing Amy” and “Good Will Hunting” and went a little goofy in the head, no doubt with help from his agents. He started thinking he was Nicolas Cage, which is dangerous because Nic went awry for a while there thinking he was Bruce Willis.

Slideshow   Celebrity sightings Lindsay Lohan steps into the light for an event in West Hollywood, Eva Longoria is honored by Latino organization, Kelly Osbourne is on time and more. more photos

Ben appeared in a series of movies that did little to push him further toward someday accepting AFI’s Lifetime Achievement Award. Pictures like “Armageddon,” “Pearl Harbor” and the terrible triumvirate — “Gigli,” “Jersey Girl” and “Surviving Christmas” — cemented his status as fodder for water cooler ridicule.

His highly public relationship with Bad Jen only added to his woes. When somebody says, “You can have it all,” be careful what “all” means. In his case, it referred to a career making oodles of cash and a fling with a beautiful and famous performer. But there’s a different type altogether that Ben should have pursued.

It looks like a light bulb finally went off inside his dome. Let’s hope it’s not too late.

There is nothing wrong with a guy dating — and eventually marrying — a gorgeous and successful woman. In fact, it’s probably the preferred course of action for nine out of 10 men. By hooking up with Good Jen, this will not only make his personal life less transparent and more satisfying, but with any luck it will have a ripple effect on his career.

MORE FROM CELEBRITY NEWS

Clooney says no Pitt-Jolie wedding at his villa

Clooney says no Pitt-Jolie wedding at his villa Fans boo Madonna and Guy Ritchie Feds' FOIA papers reveal eye for gossip Romijn engaged to Jerry O'Connell Jennifer Aniston says she’s ready to date Slater groping charge dropped if he behaves Report: Tori Spelling is ending marriage Renee Zellweger and Kenny Chesney split Jolie to be new face for St. John label Tom Sizemore told to stay in rehab   Add Celebrity news headlines to your news reader: