‘CSI’ season five: Not a shark in sight

For actors thinking about doing contract negotiations over the summer, you might want to think about George Eads of “CSI.” Ask for too much money, and you just might find yourself in a Plexiglas box rigged with explosives, buried alive, with fire ants gnawing away at you.

Of course, it wasn’t actor Eads who was buried alive, just his character, crime-scene investigator Nick Stokes. Coincidentally — or perhaps not — this was the only episode of the season to feature Eads’ character prominently. How much do you want to bet that, this summer, Eads readily agrees to his new contract?

Thursday’s finale featured a great combination of what’s great about “CSI,” adding some really fun Quentin Tarantino touches. The episode crammed a lot into two hours, including Gil Grissom’s (William Peterson) well-known love of bugs — that entomology library he keeps in his office sure came in handy — Catherine Willows’ (Marg Helgenberger) strained relationship with her crooked dad, Sam Braun (Scott Wilson), and Grissom’s hearing loss, which enabled him to read Nick’s lips.

After being lured to a phony crime scene, Nick was abducted by the father of an imprisoned woman, whom the CSIs had pinned to her crime with only the evidence of a Styrofoam cup. Nick was buried alive and the team worked together — a wonderful strategy change that was even approved of by awful Conrad Ecklie (Marc Vann) — to hunt him down. After a phony ransom setup ended with the abductor blowing himself up, the CSIs realized that Nick's chances to live were slim. The episode had plenty of fan-pleasing moments, including a plot development where Nick had to shoot out a light from within his tiny cramped quarters. It also featured well-played emotional scenes, as the CSIs faced the fact that they might not save their friend.

The Tarantino touches were obvious: Greg Sanders (Eric Szmanda) and David Hodges (Wallace Langham) playing the “Dukes of Hazzard” board game — Tarantino is a notorious collector of  television paraphernalia and legend goes that he and John Travolta bonded before the making of “Pulp Fiction” over one of these games.  We also found out that Grissom is a huge fan of Roy Rogers (suspiciously Tarantino-esque) and even keeps his certificate of Trigger ownership framed. Former Riddler Frank Gorshin turned in his last performance, playing himself. The man did a great Jack Nicholson.

Another great Tarantino touch: Nick’s feverish dream sequence where Dr. Al Robbins (Robert David Hall) opened him up with a chainsaw, while cheerfully discussing his case with “Super” Dave Phillips (David Berman). “He had a good heart,” Robbins said to Nick’s father (Andrew Prine), handing him the organ. Not your typical “CSI,” but it worked here.

Ultimately, Pancho (as Nick’s dad — and now Grissom — calls him) survived. He wasn’t upset with the imprisoned woman (Aimee Graham), he just didn’t want her to come back into the world angry. And as for Grissom, fans will identify with his final words of the episode: “I want my guys back.”

All in all, it was a terrific way for another dependably good season of “CSI” to end. The show stayed in the top Nielsen five (and was usually number one) all year long. There was a lot to love all season long — and even some watercooler worthy topics to debate — here are just a few of them:

Best episode: “I Shot Sherlock.” In this episode about the murder of a Sherlock Holmes impersonator, Greg played Watson to Grissom’s Holmes and the game was most definitely afoot. The case was juicy and complicated, featuring a frame-up and overlooked evidence. It also served as Greg’s final test to becoming a full fledged CSI — and featured a dummy made of ballistic jelly that Nick and Warrick referred to as “Mr. Wiggles.” Greg’s case also seemed reminiscent of the real case of the mysterious death of Richard Lancelyn Green, the world’s foremost expert on Sherlock Holmes, whose garroting left many wondering if he’d been murdered or committed suicide. The best moment of this episode was when Captain Brass (Paul Guilfoyle) told one of the suspects to drop his phony British accent. The suspect replied, “I can’t. I’m English.” Second place: The season finale rocked.

Worst episode: “Mea Culpa.” The dreaded episode when Conrad Ecklie decided to split the “CSI” team in two after realizing that Grissom had missed key evidence on a case. There was absolutely no reason for this random development — and the upshot is that most of the time fans never get to see Grissom and Catherine work the same case anymore. It’s a loss, as these two actors have always had such good interplay. Maybe part of the reason this development unnerved me so much is that it reflected the random reorgs that many companies go through, with unseen bosses shuffling employees like so many playing cards. I don’t like seeing this happen to my little CSIs. I can only hope that the writers listen to Gil’s final words and give him his guys back.

Most improved: Greg Saunders. Greg’s transformation from lab rat to CSI provided a great character arc for the season. He contaminated his first crime scene by using the bathroom at the victim’s house and was scolded by Grissom and mocked by his nemesis David Hodges. He suffered through his first autopsy and was shaken when he visited one victim in the burn ward. Sofia (Louise Lombard) wisely told him: “Rumor has it you used to be a pretty funny guy. Don’t lose that.” Still a bit of a kid, he stood by Sara Sidle (Jorja Fox) when she was suspended and told Grissom that he didn’t like to read unless the books were about “dismembered bodies.”

Greg was one of the great surprises of the season and seemed to have a bigger role this year than Nick (George Eds), who was perhaps being punished for those contract negotiations. Second place would definitely go to Jim Brass, who even got his very own episode this season, “Hollywood Brass.”

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