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A mother's best advice

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Optimism pays off
Big Momma or Ban, which is short for Banice, taught me and the rest of my siblings to simply have faith and believe in a better/brighter day. She stressed the value of hard work and personal accountability as I can still hear her saying "Every Tub has to sit on its own bottom." She loved us one and all and didn't forget to let us know that God loved us more. Although she died in July 2003 her spirit lives on. The testimony to her and my father's success lie in the fact that although neither one graduated from high school they produced five college graduates who all have achieved both career and family Success. Mom I/We LOVE you and will never forget you.
--Fredric M. Toney, Miami, Fla.

It never hurts to ask
When I was a kid, the rule was that if we wanted to spend the night at a friend’s house, we had to ask my parents a week ahead of time. One night a friend, who lived across the street, called to see if I could spend the night. I automatically said that I couldn't because of the short notice. When I got back to the dinner table, my mom asked about the call. After I told her, she said that if I had asked she would have let me go and that "It never hurts to ask."
--Amanda Pabustan, Sammamish, Wash.

Seeing mom in a different light
As the sixth of 12 children, my mom always had very open soft arms for all of us. It was not an easy childhood, but growing up I never knew we were poor! I was sixteen and broke a huge rule of the house, after which I was the first of her children she ever grounded. She also did not talk to me for a whole week. Then she sat me down and explained to me that she was simply Peggy, still a young girl at heart, but with huge responsibilities -- at the time she was a widow with 11 children at home and few resources. It was as if a huge light bulb literally exploded in my head. I saw her as Peggy, not Mom. I never again lied or disrespected her, our relationship was the envy of all my friends. I tried to give the experience to my son and it gave him level of respect for his grandmother that just will go on and on for generations.
--Monica, Plymouth, Wis.

Honesty starts with one's self
The most important lesson my mother has taught me is that being an honest person doesn't just mean telling the truth. Honesty doesn't stop at avoiding the big lies, and embracing the small white ones. Being an honest person and someone whom others can trust is in the way we live our lives. I am so proud to say that my mother is one of those people, honest and trustworthy. A dying breed, really. She taught me that being honest with others starts with being honest with one's self. As we all know, being honest with yourself is one of the hardest things a person has to face. I've seen my mom face some hard times in her life, and as an adult I am truly honored to have been in the presence of such honesty and grace. I love you mom!
--Sharla Egan, Mesa, Ariz.

Strong to the end
My Mom, Evelyn Borgstrom taught me many things. One thing she told me and my siblings is that God never gives you more than you can handle. She passed away in 2002. Like many people of the Depression Generation, she had had a tough life. I did everything I could to make her life better, happier and easier. Though she was a petite person physically, in many ways, she was a very strong person, so strong, she chose to stop medical treatment because she was very ill, with no hope for recovery and she was ready to die. She had suffered for years from chronic pain and numerous hospitalizations, and painful tests and medical procedures. Finally, Mom said no more. She said so to relieve her family from having to make the decision. She was ready to go. She had faith and knew she was going to go to heaven. I didn't think I could ever live a day without Mom, but with God's help, I got through those very difficult and dark days. I think of her often and will love her forever. Thanks, Mom. I Love You!
--Janice Massucci, Wichita, Kan.

Looking beyond life
My mother who not only taught me to be the best that I can, she taught me that life is not always about living here on earth. Its that no matter where you are weather here or there that wherever you are you can still see everything you want, like your granddaughter graduating or getting married or even seeing your great-grand-daughter being born. Heaven is just as good! Maybe even better! They don't feel pain there! So when someone who is so close goes up to that wonderful place called heaven don't cry cuz they're gone cry cause they are in a place where they can eat all the candy they want and never get a belly ache! They never really leave, she said! They are always there in your heart you just have to look! So when you can't see them here on earth close your eyes and you will see them running and skipping and laughing. So don't be sad, smile and know that one day you will be running, skipping and smiling like they are!
--Ashley Eldridge, Fairbanks, Alaska

A valuable lesson
My mother taught me how important it is to take care of yourself and to put yourself first when you need to. You see, my mother died of cancer when she was 36 years old. She and my father were in the process of adopting my sister when she found a lump under her arm. She worried that if she went to the doctor she wouldn't be able to adopt her. By the time she went to the doctor she was very sick. She died two years later, when I was seven and my sister was three, of breast cancer. I have three children now and I want to be here for them, to help them grow up and to watch them get married and have kids of their own. These are the things that my mother never got to do and see. In turn, I learned from my sweet, young mother that no one is invincible and that I have to put myself first so I can be here for my children. In memory of Arleen Rose Gordon and in honor of Jack, Olivia and Caroline.
--Amy Rose Rueckert, McKinney, Texas


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