Parenting and school: Answers to your e-mails

In a special monthlong series called “Raising Kids Today,” the “Today” show is looking at issues surrounding parenting. In this third week, we have been exploring the role of parents in educating their children and dealing with schools. Here, psychologist and “Today” contributor Dr. Ruth Peters responds to the biggest issue raised in viewers’ e-mails — getting kids to do their homework — as well as a couple of other topics.

By far, parents most frequently wrote in about homework issues. We received many e-mails like this:

• “Every day is a struggle. My 13-year-old son usually forgets the necessary books and handouts at school.”
• “Neither of my children can tell me when any major assignments are due. By the time I find out about the homework, it's too late.”
• “My son flunked 7th grade because he didn't do his homework.”

It is a particular problem for middle-schoolers. On the show, Dr. Peters helped a 6^th-grader in Florida; here she details that plan to help parents and kids struggling with homework hassles.

Getting Organized During Middle School
Kids in middle school quickly find out that it sure is different than the security and familiarity of the grade-school environment. The facility is typically larger, everyone has a locker, there’s at least six classes a day, with only a few minutes in between to chat with friends and manage to get to the next class on time.  Then there’s the homework and dealing with six different teachers.  Those are just a few of the reasons why sixth graders, especially, feel considerable stress and confusion.  Throw in some blossoming hormones as well as developing bodies, a fight here and there in the hallways, and the beginnings of adolescent peer-pressure difficulties, and it’s a recipe for disaster.

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Middle school often comes as a shock to the system, and it’s the wise parent who is prepared to support and guide their kid through the transition from the relative stability and security of grade school to the somewhat chaotic environment found in many of our middle schools. The problem is often due to a child's lack of organizational skills, not being particularly interested in managing their time efficiently and perhaps not caring about their grades as much as they should. In response, parents tend to become concerned, generally reacting by nagging about homework completion and staying on track, grounding for slacking off, or just plain giving up on the kid.

To help these children, especially those hitting the middle school wall, I’ve developed a program consisting of study-skill training and organizational techniques that I teach to any kid I can get my hands on! In addition, I offer behavior-management guidelines for parents to use in motivating their children. I’ve found that both parts are necessary for children to achieve good grades in middle school — your daughter can learn brilliant organizational skills, but unless she’s motivated to use them on a consistent basis, she probably won’t. Plain and simple.

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