Charles exchanging princess for Pepperpot

The Python gang did a skit called, “Upperclass Twit of the Year.” The competition included a jump over a matchbox, the kicking of a beggar and the shooting of rabbits that are tied to the ground. If you’ve ever seen Charles ride a horse, you have to believe that the the Pythons’ “Twit” was at least partially inspired by the Prince. Camilla’s first responsibility as his wife is to make sure he’s always pointed in the right direction.

Now that I think more about it, most of the women in the royal family resemble Python members in dresses. The Python boys created recurring characters known as the Pepperpots, a bunch of housewives who rode the buses and watched the telly. I have to believe that Charles took in a lot of “Monty Python’s Flying Circus” when he was a young man, and arrived at the same conclusion I did initially: most British women look like men in drag.

Royal Wedding Latest on the wedding Interactive: Britain's royal family Mad over hats Camilla's dress: Elegant, feminine Homey retreat for honeymoon U.K. poet laureate honors wedding 'Dateline': Reality behind the fairy tale Charles struggles with his public image

It’s not true, of course. But that’s why the Diana thing was doomed from the start. He didn’t need a precious porcelain doll for a wife. He longed for a Pepperpot.

He watched Mrs. Premise and Mrs. Conclusion discuss the burying of dead cats and Jean-Paul Sartre in a laundromat and exclaimed, “There’s the life for me!” He realized that the solution to labor strikes in Britain is to send in a flock of Pepperpots and have them beat the slothful workers with umbrellas and handbags. He heard a Pepperpot confirm how nine out of 10 British housewives couldn’t tell the difference between Whizzo butter and a dead crab and realized that’s the kind of woman he needed.

I just hope this time matrimony agrees with Charles. His last marriage felt like the Spanish Inquisition.

Michael Ventre lives in Los Angeles and is a regular contributor to MSNBC.com.

MORE FROM MORE LIFESTYLES STORIES, FEATURES

Obama and the arts — a love affair?

Obama and the arts — a love affair? Blanchett stars in a fierce ‘Streetcar’ revival Black comedians crack under Hollywood pressure Carrie Prejean: ‘I was not having sex’ in video Angela Lansbury to receive Sondheim Award Mario Lopez to host Miss America pageant Joke’s on Cosby as Seinfeld, Rock pay tribute   Add More Lifestyles stories, features headlines to your news reader: