Keep kids away from lying and cheating

Also, focus on process or effort praise rather than product praise. Show admiration for a tenacious attempt, not just for success.  When kids feel that they are under too much pressure to succeed, cheating often occurs, not only to win the game or to receive a good grade, but also to please parents or teachers.  Let your children know that you're not just looking at the grade or the batting average, but more so at their persistence or sportsmanship.  Children can't always control the outcome of their efforts, but they can determine the amount of effort exerted, and that's what really counts.

You can also lessen the impulse to cheat by teaching your kids that there are consequences (both behavioral as well as social) for this type of inappropriate action.  Teachers may look askance at an excellent paper if plagiarizing has been an issue in the past, and others won't want to play games with your child if they can't trust the integrity of the play. You can encourage honest play behavior by commenting upon cheating if it occurs during a game of checkers or Chutes and Ladders, and ending the game immediately, noting that, "It's not fun playing a game when the rules are not followed.  We'll try again tomorrow."

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Finally, if you don't want your child to cheat, don't do it yourself. Those "rolling stops" at the traffic sign suggest to your kids that it's okay to cut corners, especially if no one is looking. If a cashier forgets to charge you for an item and haphazardly places it in your bag, make a point of bringing this to the cashier's attention and paying for it. Your child will soon get the message that you respect laws, rules and regulations and that you expect the same from your children.

Quick tips on how to beat lying and cheating
Walk the talk: Don't expect your child to be honest if you aren't. Check your example first.

• Discuss why cheating is wrong: Don't assume your kid understands. Be clear about your own moral beliefs and pass them on to your kid. Tell your kid a recent moral choice you've made; read stories from the Bible; provide good heroes and heroines from history. Talk and talk.
• Acknowledge honesty: Let your child know again and again how much you appreciate their truthfulness and honest efforts. Make honesty the priority in your home.
• Emphasize consequences: Discuss the negative results of cheating: loss of trust, the hurt it can cause, that it’s immoral, can get you in trouble, or can cause a bad reputation. Use real examples in the news of wealthy and famous people who have been caught lying and the consequences they suffered.
• Call cheating on the spot: If your goal is to raise an honest kid, then you must respond to cheating. Don't overact, but simply tell him what you saw or heard. It's best to cite your observations privately and keep your focus on the attitude. For example, "Moving the ball is cheating." Then tell your kid you expect honesty.
• Set a consequence for repeat cheating: Excusing or ignoring your kid's cheating is the same as giving it your approval. So don't approve it. If your young child is cheating, stop the game. A plagiarized report should be redone. Sincere apologies should be required.
• Teach ways to buck the pressure to cheat. Peer pressure is huge, so your child will need more than just a talk to say no. Tell him how to say no with these four strategies:
  Assert yourself with confidence — Use strong body posture to stand up for your beliefs.
  Say no firmly — Use a friendly but determined voice, then do not give in.
  Repeat your decision — It's sometimes helpful to sound like a broken record.
  Explain the reasons why — Doing so will help strengthen your child's convictions.

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