The art of switching airline seats

By James Wysong

Travel columnist

updated 1:43 p.m. ET April 6, 2005

How many times have you come across this scenario: the airplane is completely full, apart from nine seats, but those nine seats have only three people in them, who are stretched out and happily slumbering away?

Did they pay for those extra seats? No, they have perfected the technique that I’ll call “seat shuffling.”

Unfortunately, when the flight you are on is completely full, you are almost certain to be stuck with the seat that you were assigned. But when the flight isn’t full, there may be definite reasons to switch and certain tricks of the trade to learn.

First of all, what constitutes a good reason to move? Here is a real list of my favorites:

1. The crying and yelling baby right next to you looks as if it should have been named Damien, whose head is about to start spinning around any moment.

2. The smell of someone around you, from rotting feet, gas or a bad case of body odor, and is more than you can handle.

3. Your reading light or movie audio isn’t working, and it’s a night flight.

4. The lady next to you has her eyes wide open, and every time you move she yells, “What was that?”

5. The man next to you keeps chanting to himself, and swatting at imaginary flies.

6. An elderly man sits down next to you, and you get drunk from his breath.

7. The young man sitting next to you is dressed in a cutoff shirt, shorts, and flip-flops. And he boarded the plane singing, “You gotta fight, for your right, to PAAAARRRTTYY!”

8. You’ve got a headache, and the person sitting next to you starts to tell you his life story from age three.

9. The person sitting next to you is so big that half of his body is spilling over into your seat.

10. And my biggest personal peeve is the young boy behind you who kicks your seat every other second and his mother doesn’t stop him.

Now for some insider advice on switching seats. First, you have to find out if the flight is full or not. Odds are that if they’re asking for volunteers to take another flight, it’s probably full. The best way to find out is to ask the agent when you check-in, or a flight attendant when you board.

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