Drew Barrymore: Real or fembot?

Tara
You’re right that phoniness, in and of itself, is neither especially offensive to me in other Hollywood actors, nor especially surprising. In Barrymore’s case, it’s the way she is phony that I find so annoying: what she’s faking is a kind of open-hearted, post-hippie, self-helped candor, where her childlike sincerity is the whole point. For example, I heard her mother on the radio right after Barrymore went on “Letterman” a few years back and flashed her boobies at him; her mother’s spin was that Barrymore just doesn’t even acknowledge society’s taboos and was carried away in the moment. Girl? Please.

Drew Barrymore acts like a real-life Phoebe Buffay — to a point. The reason Phoebe worked (as a fictional character, mind you) is that amid her embracing of Wiccan ceremonies and her devotion to aromatherapy, she also had a dark side, and she wasn’t shy about expressing it. Barrymore acts like she has no dark side, which is both strange and deeply irritating.

Sarah
Maybe it’s not acting. Maybe the real Drew Barrymore is living in seclusion and the one we see on Leno is a Drewbot. Because, again: Jamie Walters.

Tara
In light of the marriage to Tom Green, my theory is that her stint in rehab involved a frontal lobotomy.

Tara Ariano and Sarah D. Bunting are co-creators and co-editors of Television Without Pity

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