'It was his life'
"I had to make the decision to take my father of life support when I was eighteen. He was in a medically induced coma and there was no hope that he would have survived without a liver transplant. There was a six month waiting list to even get on the transplant list. As it was, he was on the highest dose of blood pressure medicine that they could safety give him and it was only keeping him stable. The doctors told me that there was nothing more that they could do for him, and they told us that we should consider taking him off life support, so I made the heart wrenching decision with my grandmother to let my dad go. It took him 4 hours to die after the doctors took him off oxygen and the blood pressure medication. He was 57 years old. He had told me that he didn't want to live hooked up to machines if it were to play out this way so we honored his decision. This was 9 years ago, March 14th, 1996. There are days when I wonder if there was anything more that we could have done, and I grieve the decision we made that day still, but I realize that it was his decision, no one else's. It was his life."
—Susan M. Dano, Las Vegas, Nev.

Unplugging dad
"My father had mentioned a couple of years before he became so ill that he did not want to ever be in a vegetative state. He was a good Christian man with great faith. I too had faith that if it was the Lords will to survive, he would have survived the removal of any equipment. He had gone into a coma, kidneys had shut down and he only had a very small amount of brain activity. He also had 'doll's eyes' which also help me determine that it was time to unplug his equipment that was keeping him in this state. The doctors agreed, his pastor agreed, so that's what we did. He did pass on within 3 or 4 hours and it was devastating but I did know that he was finally at peace and with the Lord. However, not everyone agreed with our decision. A step-daughter-in-law treated me as if I took a gun to him and killed him. She wouldn't be in the same room with me at the funeral home and was telling several people how I killed my dad. It was heartbreaking. It also brought in doubts that took a long time to pray through. Ask me if I would do it again - the answer is yes. I would like the same to be done for me."
—Annette Everton, Indianapolis, Ind.

'The decision to disconnect'
"My mother had cancer and after surgery which revealed that the cancer was not curable and even the healing would be difficult if not impossible, I had to decide to take her off the respirator. Prior to this time, I had had several serious conversations with my mother regarding her wishes in a variety of situations, and understood her heart in these matters. Out of respect for my mother's wishes, the decision to disconnect was made, so that she could past as peacefully as possible. No pain medication could even touch the pain that had been caused by the surgery, so it was a blessing to see her drift away in peace. The last clear conversation with my mother was September 14th before her first surgery, with 2 surgeries more shortly there after to try and close up that which was opened. She died 17 days later. Even though it was one of the hardest decisions that I have ever made, I couldn't treat my own mother with less respect than I would afford a pet, with respect to quality of life."
—Norma Crum, Grand Rapids, Mich.

'The right decision'
"I had to make the choice to have my 2-year-old son taken off life support. He suffered a major hemorrhage in his brain due to a brain tumor. We were told that he was "brain dead", and my husband and I made the most difficult decision in our lives. I know, to this day, that we made the right decision."
—M.K., Missoula, Mont.'The hardest thing you will ever do'

Tough call for young husband
"In 1959 my 23-year-old wife of 5 months was dying of kidney disease. Both kidneys had totally failed. I was told by experts (medical and legal) that she was in a vegetative state and would never regain consciousness. The recommendation was not to provide artificial life support. I concurred and my wife died in hours. It was a very hard decision for a 23 year old husband. But in her last days she had told me that she couldn't fight it anymore and had to give up. With my decision she was finally at peace."
—John G. Donahue, Elizabethtown, Pa.

CONTINUED

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