He wanted the tube out
My father was suffering from kidney failure due to his diabetes. He was in and out of the hospital for various complications. In 2002 he was in the hospital for two months after surgery that he contracted an infection. He was put on a breathing tube for a week while he slowly deteriorated. He told us that he wanted the tube out, and we asked him if he knew what would happen if it was taken out. He shook his head yes. So, all 11 of his children and his grandchildren were at the hospital when we all made the decision to let him go and honor his wishes to die in dignity.
—Elly Olson, Menominee, Mich.

Pulling the plug on me
In 1970, my husband had to make a decision as to whether to pull the "plug" as I was in a coma for one month. He did not, though I was given little chance to live. I had a brain hemorrhage was in the hospital for about six weeks, had to learn to walk again, and had to learn to reason again. I had the very best care at that time, the same doctors that operated on President Kennedy in Dallas. My husband said I used to look straight ahead, the same as Terri Schiavo, until one day I woke up. It took me about two years to be rehabilitated, but, I did it, with the help of my family and my husband.
—Karletta S Hart, Jennings, Florida

Terminal cancer
Yes, my father had terminal cancer — by the time he saw a doctor, the cancer was in every organ of his body with absolutely no chance of survival. When he could no longer swallow, the nursing home gave us the option of having a intravenous tube inserted into his jugular vein. The thought of my father having to go through this surgery, which would result in prolonging his agony, was a horrible option. With the advanced state of his cancer, he only lived another five days. It was horrible to watch my father, who was larger than life, wither away to almost nothing. Could I make this same decision regarding my child, I don't think I could - if there was any hope at all, in my father's case, there was none.
—Donna Harrison, Benson, Ariz.

Dying in dignity
My nephew was in a motorcycle accident and suffered severe head trauma. He was on life support for about three to four days. The MRIs showed he was brain dead, with excessive swelling and blood in the brain. He developed pneumonia and we were told that if he made it, which was doubtful, he would be brain dead. With no family other than the surviving aunt (me) and three more uncles, we decided to remove life support. After about 10 minutes, he passed on to a better life and he died in dignity, with much prayers and all his family by his side. My husband and I both have living wills and hopefully that will make it easier for our children to let us go, if they have to.
—Rose Martinez, Los Alamos, N.M.

Family decision
My father, my sisters, my brother and I had to make a family decision in 1992. Our mother had an aneurism and we were told that if she had surgery, there would be a chance she would live but in a vegetable state. She had one in the year 1984 and she walked out of that one with no side effects.

But this one was different. The front part of her brain hemorrhaged, so she was in a vegetable state. The choices we were given was to have surgery and run a chance of having our mother but being in a vegetable state, or leaving her alone and take our chances. At the time, she had a father, sister, and two brothers living. After discussing the choice between our family, we decided to leave her alone. My mother had made us promise after her first one, if a vegetable state was an option, she wanted to die.

Her family didn't want to see her die but we wanted to abide by her wishes that she had discussed earlier with us. She only lived 24 more hours after we made the decision. We chose to leave her alone and are at peace with that.
—Tina Ortiz, Cordova, Tenn.

Prolonging the inevitable
A year ago yesterday, my mother passed away at home after being hospitalized for many months. She had many medical problems but this time we were told suddenly she had liver failure and would not live more than a week at home or two if hospitalized. She decided to die at home and we had hospice come in. My mother told my siblings and us the day after coming home that she was ready to die. We had an unusual situation in that so many relatives and friends came by that day to say goodbye to Mom (an "early wake"). The next two days she became less conscious as we gave her more morphine to keep her comfortable. It became very hard to see her in that state and we wondered if she was hanging on until her birthday the next day. My three brothers, sister and I all agreed with guidance from the hospice nurse that if it came to it, we would disconnect the ventilator that was prolonging her inevitable death. She knew and we know that is not living! She was a nurse for many years and I worked with head-injured patients for many years when I was in my 20's and I knew then I would never want to be in that state. Thankfully, although very sadly she died peacefully just before her 69th birthday and we didn't have to intervene..
—Susan

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