Melissa Etheridge's brave comeback

The chemo took a heavy toll; there were days she could barely get out of bed. She says she would never have made it through without Tammy, the woman she has called her wife since they exchanged vows in a commitment ceremony in September 2003.

Etheridge: “When I got home from my surgery, in the bedroom, there was a beautiful flower arrangement. And all it said was, ‘In sickness and in health.’ You know, and she meant it. There were days upon days where I couldn't make a sound. Where she would tell me she loved me, and I couldn't even tell her that back. And she would say, ‘I know you love me. And I love you.’ And she would just lay there. Because you can't move. Every cell in your body is aching.”

Phillips: “From the chemotherapy.”

Etheridge: “From the chemotherapy, yeah. Yeah.”

We asked Tammy to join us for a portion of the interview and it quickly became clear that some of Melissa's best medicine comes from her 30-year-old partner.

Etheridge: “Oh, this one has a gift of humor and comedy. When I was diagnosed with cancer, she'd say, well, hello, cancer pants… And shaving my head was another opportunity for—“

Phillips: “Great comedic opportunity—“

Tammy Lynn Michaels: ”We had to get the lesson as we shaved it into different mullets. We had to teach the children what not to have with their hair.”

Etheridge: “And for my son, I put a new mohawk for awhile. And actually using humor to bring them to the process of the Momma that you know with her golden mane is going to lose her hair. You know, when I finally did lose my hair and she shaved it, and I had a couple hairs here-- what did you call me, honey?”

“Captain Steubing. Ever seen the ‘Love Boat’ where he just had a couple right there on the side and then he was shiny? She was Captain Steubing for a while.”

Etheridge: “Laughing is a medicine. It releases this amazing stuff. And she would make me laugh and bring this incredible gift to me every single day.”

Those moments of laughter were a lifeline during her treatment. Etheridge was scheduled to undergo eight rounds of what's called dose-dense chemotherapy, a shorter course of treatment that can be highly successful, but painfully intense.

Phillips: “What do you remember most about the chemotherapy?”

Michaels: “When it first goes in your body, it makes your eyes get all glassy, and I couldn't really see in her anymore. So by the time we would get her home from chemo… her eyes would be very foggy. I would look at that and I would know very soon on she was going down again.”

By January, Etheridge had completed the first four rounds of chemo, and was started on the next drug, Taxol. But immediately, there was a problem.

Etheridge: “It affected my muscles and bones. And there's a chance of neuropathy with Taxol, which is where you lose feeling in your extremities. You know, fingers and toes. And the minute I started losing feeling in my fingertips I threw a flag and went, ‘wait wait wait wait wait.’ This is my livelihood you're talking about."

Phillips: “Guitar player.”

Etheridge: “Yeah. Yeah. As a guitar player.”

After consulting with her doctors, she decided that between her surgery, two months of chemo, and radiation treatment, which she's currently undergoing, she could beat the cancer without the Taxol.

Etheridge: “That was my own personal choice. To me, it’s not worth it. So, I stopped early.”

And that choice created an opportunity, because once she stopped chemotherapy, she started to get her strength back -- and the Grammy Awards were just around the corner. Even though she'd been nominated for her song '”Breathe,” she hadn't planned on attending the Grammys. But as she began to feel better, she thought, maybe she'd go after all.

Etheridge: “But I didn't want to just go and just go. I thought, you know, I'd like to go if there's something special. Well, my manager then calls me and says, I think I got something special. And he said, they-- the Grammys called, and they're giving Janis Joplin the Lifetime Achievement Award. And they would like you to sing ‘Piece of my Heart.’ And I went, holy cow. Well, yeah, that's special.”

It's a song that's always been close to her heart, as we found out sitting in her backyard, rocking with her favorite guitar. How she did it, in front of millions of people on music's biggest night?

Etheridge: “It was very special that I had been presented with a day, that I could come back into this entertainment world, and show everyone that you are back and okay, and thought, okay. I'm going to do this. And I'm not gonna be afraid of the truth. The truth is, yes I had cancer. Yes, I got it out of me.  Yes, I went through chemotherapy. Yes, I'm bald.”

In an image-crazed business, it was a big decision.

Etheridge: “I remember telling the camera crew, saying, like, I'm going to do this bald. So, if you need any special lighting, for this big old shiny head that's going to be shining, I need you to know. And they were like, okay. And they were all ready for it.”

Phillips: “Did you ever consider wearing a wig?”

Etheridge: “Oh, I never considered wearing a wig. I can't imagine putting a wig on. And I couldn't imagine a wig staying on my head as I was flying around that stage. I was going to go on stage and sing a rock song. I'm going to sweat, it's comfortable.”

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