Auditions make ‘Idol’ a joke

Can the show recover?
We're about to enter the part of the competition where the good will be eliminated in favor of the great. But if the previous three seasons are any indication, we can expect this focus on the irrelevant to continue. The sycophantic audience will boo every piece of constructive criticism that comes from Simon Cowell, just because it comes with some blunt, acerbic commentary. Time will be consumed by musical commercials featuring the finalists being forced to enjoy a sponsor's product. Metrosexual icon Ryan Seacrest will fling homophobic comments at Simon Cowell, who will fling them right back, for no discernible reason. And Paula Abdul will give the most absurdly backhanded compliments, all in the name of trying not to offend those who might actually need to hear the truth. Along the way, a talented singer will, almost by accident, become the next American idol.

At its best, "American Idol" has given us incredible performances and moments full of emotional intensity. But these three weeks, the series has been at its worst. A mime was actually permitted to advance far enough to audition in front of the judges. That doesn't even make sense for a quasi-serious, entertainment-based competition. The same holds true for contestant 91656, who showed up in San Francisco dressed like a cow, grabbing her udders as she sang "just hold on to my love."

"Not right for this competition," Paula said.

"So what are you looking for, then?" the cow-woman asked.

His head on the desk, Simon asked Paula, "Which competition would it be right for?"

"Best in show," Randy said, causing the cow-girl to walk out.

But the udder-fondler had a legitimate question: What exactly is "American Idol" looking for if it even lets someone like her through the door? The answer was given by Randy's response: an opportunity for humiliation via a cheap one-liner, for an extra ratings point.

"The number one show in America" should be better than this, aspiring to be more than an attractive package wallowing in FOX's reality gutter. The series should actually be about talent, not about giving a prime-time showcase to costumed teenagers and D-list actor/comedians for us to gawk at.

Andy Dehnart is a writer and teacher who publishes reality blurred, a daily summary of reality TV news.

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