‘Idol’ longshots strike it rich in Vegas

Size does matter
Speaking of which, perhaps the most unlikely winner of the night was Jennifer Todd, a woman not merely curvy like some of the ones Simon has inexplicably pilloried in the past for having hips or a chest, but genuinely big — a woman of a type not usually advanced beyond the auditions. She acknowledged her self-consciousness before she hit the stage, and knew she'd have to nail the vocal in order to get through. While parts of her Alicia Keys number were a little shaky, by the end, she had made it clear that she had talent, and she was put through by all three judges.

And finally, for the first time that I, for one, have seen, Kenny Loggins pointed out that it's a little stupid to keep sending women home for being fat when the show has in the past anointed Ruben Studdard, who can, sadly, barely stay on his feet these days. Fans have waited a long time to hear this ridiculous double-standard called out, and if it had to come from the guy who sang "Danger Zone" in "Top Gun," then so be it.

Some of those whom the odds did not favor indeed went home in tears — or at least in obscurity.

It's still a bad idea to sing a song from "The Lion King" complete with funny cartoon voices. It's still a bad idea to be a bad Elvis impersonator or make anything Simon will refer to as "stabbing motions" while doing your best Neil Diamond. It's still a bad idea to sing "Thriller" in a manner so creepy and disturbing that it will make people want to change their phone numbers and go into hiding just because they watched it on television. It's still a bad idea to be the worst person ever to sing "Lady Marmalade" on "American Idol" — it's an accomplishment, mind you, but that doesn't make it smart.

But Vegas is Vegas, and sometimes you can make the video poker machine spit out enough money to buy you a drink. And some of the contestants with the worst hands to play managed on Wednesday to stay alive and in the game.

Linda Holmes is a writer in Bloomington, Minn.

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