Season’s new dramas
are all over the map

The fall's new dramas take viewers around the world and back again.

"Lost" is set on a mysterious island, where survivors of a plane crash must act out their own "Survivor" meets "Lord of the Flies" universe.

"Hawaii" and "dr. vegas" take their casts to those hot travel destinations, while "CSI: New York" and "Boston Legal" (a.k.a. "The Practice: Fleet Street") try to spin off already popular shows into major metropolises.

Will these varied settings result in viewers staying put on their own couches to tune in? The networks hope so, and the rest of us will soon find out.

"Blind Justice"

FREE VIDEO ‘Blind Justice’ Ron Eldard stars in ‘Blind Justice.’ ABC Television Network

A victim of too much gimmick and not enough story, "Blind Justice" (ABC, Tuesdays, 10 p.m. ET, beginning midseason) is the tale of police detective Jim Dunbar (Ron Eldard), who loses his sight in the line of duty and then fights his way back onto the force, only to find that not everyone is excited about having him back.

The show tries to look at minute aspects of Dunbar's life as a blind person, including his interplay with his seeing-eye dog and his efforts to learn the layout of his new workplace. Nevertheless, it seems unsure of what to do with itself other than continually cut back to Eldard and his dark glasses, as if to say, "Look! He is a police detective! But also, he is blind!" Similarly, the well of discord between Dunbar and his skeptical fellow officers is visited and revisited until it feels positively tired, with the personality conflicts suffering from a conspicuous lack of personality.

Dunbar has a wife at home (the unfortunately wasted Rena Sofer), and she does the expected fret-and-hover thing as he heads back to the office, but again, there's little that's fresh about their relationship. Unless it can come up with a few new tricks, flesh out the characters, and stop leaning so heavily on the unlikely premise, this new offering, from Steven Bochco and some of the other guys behind "NYPD Blue," isn't going to make much of a splash.   —Linda Holmes

“Boston Legal”

ABC James Spader leads the cast of "Boston Legal."

If you enjoyed James Spader’s ethically challenged Alan Shore on “The Practice,” get ready for “Boston Legal” (premieres Oct  3 at 10 p.m. ET on ABC — pilot wasn’t available at press time).

Who could forget “The Practice” episode in which Shore threw the knife away so that there would be no evidence against murder suspect Ted Grayson? There should be more shenanigans on this show, though the cases will be more of the civil kind and less of the grisly criminal stuff that “The Practice” gang tended to litigate.

Joining Spader will be William Shatner’s over-the-top (can he play it any other way?) lawyer Denny Crane and former Shore assistant and possible once-again love interest Tara Wilson (Rhona Mitra). New to the fold is former “Keen Eddie” star Mark Valley, who will play Brad Chase, recruited from the D.C. office to look after the loopy Crane. Former “Miss Match” sidekick Lake Bell co-stars. There’s also word that Freddie Prinze, Jr. may do a guest stint as Shatner’s son.   —Paige Newman

“Clubhouse”

FREE VIDEO Batter up ‘Clubhouse’ steps up to the plate. CBS Entertainment

Who would have thought that one of the sweeter and most innocent new shows of the year would be set in the world of modern-day baseball? “Clubhouse” (premieres Sept. 26 at 9 p.m. ET on CBS) tells the story of Pete Young (Jeremy Sumpter, last year’s “Peter Pan”), the newest batboy for the New York Empires baseball team. The show is pretty darn wholesome and loveable and features Christopher Lloyd (“Taxi”) as the gruff but wise equipment manager, Mare Winningham (“Georgia”) as Pete’s overprotective yet caring single mom, Kirsten Storms (“Days of our Lives”) as Pete’s rebellious sister Betsy and Dean Cain (“Lois and Clark”) as the star player for the team.

The family dynamic is remarkably similar to that shown in the movie “Almost Famous” and Winningham’s performance especially seems modeled on Frances McDormand’s single mom. The story itself is also a bit similar to the film, with Pete getting to live his dream while learning that the people he’s idolized, while still great, are also human. Sumpter makes for a very appealing lead character to follow, though it’s not clear who this show is meant to appeal to. Will women watch a show about baseball? And conversely, will men and boys watch a show this heart-on-its-sleeve sweet? My guess is no on both counts. The acting here is winning, but this show seems destined to be cut from the CBS starting lineup.    —P.N.

“CSI: New York”

FREE VIDEO City that never sleeps ‘CSI’ is in a New York state of mind. CBS Entertainment

The good news for people who are fans of “CSI” but who aren’t fond of “CSI:Miami” because of David Caruso’s distracting acting quirks (sometimes his word emphasis in sentences seems almost Captain Kirk-esque) is that Gary Sinise’s  (“Ransom,” “Apollo 13”) Detective Mac Taylor is much more in the mold of “CSI’s” Gil Grissom. Instead of being emotional in that “I’ll get my man” kind of way, Sinise’s character is more introspective and analytical.

“CSI: New York” (premieres Sept. 27 at 10 p.m. ET on CBS) features everything that’s great about the “CSI” brand: the cases take center stage; the crazy special effects that show how a wound happens or a weapon is forged are there; and the science is the key to solving the case. The creators don’t stray much from the formula. And why should they, when it’s so successful? As with “CSI” the faces of the cast are somewhat familiar, but they aren’t the big names that you’ll see on some of the other new series this season.  The two other faces that will probably be most familiar are Melina Kanakaredes of “Providence” and Eddie Cahill who played Tag Jones on “Friends.” The bottom line here is that you won’t get much that’s new in this series, but if you’re a fan of “CSI” and “CSI: Miami,” you’ll enjoy watching the crime scene investigators solve crimes in the Big Apple.    —P.N.

"Desperate Housewives"

FREE VIDEO Looking ‘Desperate’ Marcia Cross of ‘Melrose Place’ fame is one of the ‘Desperate Housewives.’ ABC Television Network

It's hard not to be appalled at the way "Desperate Housewives" (premieres Sept. 26 at 9 p.m. ET on ABC) uses suicide as a plot device. Housewife Mary Alice Scott kills herself, but sticks around, looking down on Wisteria Lane, watching and narrating the lives of her family and friends. The neighborhood mixes Pleasantville with the look of a Thomas Kinkade painting. Mary Alice's friends, who don't seem to miss her very much, think nothing of wearing belly-baring shirts that would be more appropriate on their teen daughters or seducing the very young gardener on a fancy imported dining-room table. These are not the moms you remember from your childhood, that's for sure.

And what kind of show is this, exactly? Is it a drama? Comedy? Soap opera? Return to Peyton Place? The show's creators have a little bit of all that on their resumes — the four producers have been involved with "Golden Girls," "Melrose Place," last year's failed "Threat Matrix" and "Ed." But what the show seems to want to be most of all is "Twin Peaks," with seemingly normal families suddenly revealing jarring secrets. (In fact, Sheryl Lee, who played the dead, plastic-wrapped Laura Palmer on "Twin Peaks," originally was cast as Mary Alice, only to be replaced in late summer by Brenda Strong.) The problem is, we've seen about a million plots in which the sunny facade of suburbia is exposed. Can very much shock us anymore? "Twin Peaks" began to lose its charm after one season. It remains to be seen if "Desperate Housewives" can make it that far.    —G.F.C.

“dr. vegas”

FREE VIDEO Taking a gamble Naturally, Rob Lowe is ‘dr. vegas.’ CBS Entertainment

Rob Lowe (“West Wing”) is a man in search of a good series; unfortunately, “dr. vegas” (premieres Sept 24 at 10 p.m. ET on CBS) isn’t it. Lowe’s Dr. Billy Grant is the in-house doctor at a Vegas casino. Joe Pantoliano’s (“The Sopranos”) fast-talking, tough-guy hotel general manager Tommy Danko is the best thing about the series. Pantoliano feels just right as the slightly slimy but charming manager who’s also Lowe’s close friend. He and Lowe play off each other well, but the gimmicky idea behind the series — which comes off sort of as “E.R.” meets “Las Vegas” — doesn’t serve either actor well.

Lowe ends up making too many high-moral ground speeches, and a show that should be fun just isn’t. Tom Sizemore (of the unfairly cancelled “Robbery Homicide Division”) has some fun playing Pantoliano’s right-hand man Vic Moore, who tries to rope in the big gamblers. With his gruff Mob-like mannerisms, Sizemore also seems just right for a show set in Las Vegas. Sarah Lancaster (“Everwood”) is business student and blackjack dealer Veronica Handler, who may have too much of a conscience to work in a casino. Amy Adams (“Catch Me if You Can”) plays Alice Doherty, Lowe’s nurse and if this series is as predictable as it seems, Lowe’s potential love interest.

There are a lot of good actors in this show, too bad the concept is such a one-trick pony. Here’s hoping that the networks give Pantoliano and Lowe something better to work with next year.    —P.N.

"Eyes"

FREE VIDEO ‘Eyes’ ‘Eyes’ is set at a private-investigation firm. ABC Television Network

The most remarkable thing about "Eyes" (ABC, midseason) is that there are about eight significant characters on it, and all of them are interesting. That almost never happens.

The title refers to the work of Judd Risk Management, a sparkly and well-equipped but ethically dodgy private-investigation firm owned by Harlan Judd (Timothy Daly), and operated with the help of his (mostly) faithful staff. Things are complicated around the office, because not only is the firm under attack from an old boss of Judd's who would like to buy it, but Judd is being sued for punching a former employee, and needs a slick attorney (Laura Leighton) to get him out of it. There are other intrigues brewing among the staff as well, all of which are barreling uncomfortably toward big trouble.

"Eyes" walks a fine line between sharp wit and fairly dark plot elements, and succeeds for the most part in making that tension in the script feel complex rather than clunky. Judd himself is engaging and strange, and Daly pulls off some very clever dialogue with abundant charm. He's well supported by the rest of the cast, including A.J. Langer, who hasn't lost a step since "My So-Called Life."

It's the kind of pigeonhole-proof show that will probably tank in a hurry, which is too bad, because it's smart and odd, and there can never be too much of that in prime time.  —L.H.

"Grey's Anatomy"

FREE VIDEO Sleepless in Seattle ‘Grey's Anatomy’ is set at a Seattle hospital. ABC Television Network

So the creator of this show is a woman named Shonda Rimes, who would like you to take note that she wrote "Introducing Dorothy Dandridge," starring Halle Berry. Primarily because she would like you to forget that she wrote "Crossroads." Starring, um, Britney Spears.

"Grey's Anatomy" (ABC, midseason) follows a group of surgical residents — Meredith, Christina, Izzie, and token male George — as they begin their stints at Seattle Grace Hospital, where they are supervised by the punishing Dr. Bailey and the rakish but capable Dr. Shepherd, played by Patrick Dempsey in a surprisingly effective attempt at mature sex appeal.

Much of the ground here has been downright trampled by now, given all the shows that have gone before. Young doctors intimidated . . . seen it. Overwhelmed . . . seen it. Pretending to be brave . . . seen it. And all of that was just in the pilot of "ER."

Where the show tries to distinguish itself is with style points — it's the "Coyote Ugly" doctor show, with the young women following their dreams and not letting any man get in their way and so on. There are some nice moments, and some good actors, and I'm all for someone figuring out how to write for Patrick Dempsey, who has a lot of appeal. Still, you will not find yourself shocked at the notion that the pen that wrote this also wrote "Crossroads."   —L.H.

“Hawaii”

FREE VIDEO Trouble in paradise A fish out of water lands in ‘Hawaii.’ NBC Entertainment

Set and actually shot in the tropical paradise (lucky actors), “Hawaii” (premiered Aug. 30, 8 p.m. ET on NBC) is more glossy and less procedural than shows like “Law & Order” and “CSI.” It actually harkens back to “Miami Vice,” a show that also took advantage of its luscious surroundings and was more about confronting the bad guys than solving the crime. Michael Biehn  (best remembered for his roles in “Aliens” and “The Terminator”) stars as Detective Max Harrison — a Gil Grissom-type character, who’s obviously seen it all and who’s had to make some compromises along the way to get by.  Sharif Atkins (who spent three years as a doctor on “E.R”) is Biehn’s partner, John Decian, a tough but fresh from Chicago cop.

This is your typical fish-out-water scenario — Deician doesn’t even know how to swim. Beihn and Atkins are well matched and if the show were simply about them, I might actually enjoy it more. But there are two other detectives on the case. Ivan Sergei (best known as Jill from “Jack and Jill”) plays Danny Edwards, a cocky know-it-all who’s constantly in trouble with the boss. Sergei plays his role a bit too broad and sitcom-like for a cop show. His partner is Eric Belfour (“Six Feet Under”) who, though also young and cocky could actually improve if the producers partnered him up with someone a bit less hammy. The show is a lot of flash and doesn’t have much to offer in the way of crime-solving mystery. But if you want a cop show that’s a bit lighter and more fun, this could be the one for you.    —P.N.

"House"

FREE VIDEO Doctor, doctor Building a ‘House.’ Fox Broadcasting Company

If TV writers have learned one thing, it's that when the well seems dry, you can always wring out another cop or medical drama. This season, NBC is rolling out "Medical Investigation" and Fox is building a "House" (premieres Nov. 16 at 9 p.m. ET, Fox).

Hugh Laurie plays Dr. Greg House, a brilliant but surly doctor who solves medical mysteries, diagnosing maladies that mystify other physicians. House, like "E.R.'s" Dr. Kerry Weaver, uses a cane to walk, and his handicap was a smart bit of character development — it gives a cocky character a weakness and offers his patients something to relate to. And House is indeed cocky. He's likely to reveal to a co-worker that he hired them for their looks or street smarts and expect them to just suck it up and deal. Those co-workers include Omar Epps, Jennifer Morrison, Robert Sean Leonard and Aussie Jesse Spencer.

Their personalities will have to be given time to develop — House is such a towering figure that it'd be easy for them to all blend together as "staff." The real question, though, is whether the show itself will be able to stand out to viewers who've seen doc dramas come and go. A lot of that is up to Laurie: Physician, heal thyself.    —Gael Fashingbauer Cooper

"Jack and Bobby"

FREE VIDEO Hail to the chief Watch a scene from ‘Jack and Bobby.’ WB

It's unfortunate that "Jack and Bobby" (premieres Sept. 12, 9 p.m. ET, The WB) is saddled with a cutesy title slyly suggesting that its young brothers, one of whom is destined to be president, should call to mind another prominent political family. It deserves to kick off without that kind of baggage. The show boasts an interesting pedigree, coming from executive producers Greg Berlanti ("Dawson's Creek," "Everwood") and Thomas Schlamme ("The West Wing"). If you crossed the better aspects of Berlanti's angsty dramas with Schlamme's observant character work, this is about what you would get.

Despite the gimmicky premise and the distracting device of inserting "interviews" with people who knew President McCallister during his time in office, "Jack and Bobby" works best as a simple family drama. The reliable Christine Lahti plays passionate, flawed single mother Grace with restraint and sensitivity, and Matt Long as brooding Jack and Logan Lerman as junior-high oddball Bobby are intriguing, both as individuals and as brothers. The show catches the family at a critical time, when Jack has begun to recognize and resent his mother's flaws, and isn't sure whether to protect Bobby or educate him.

It would be easy for a show with a weighty anvil hanging over its characters' heads to become overly enamored of itself, full of gratuitous winks at the future that the audience knows and the characters don't. Happily, "Jack and Bobby" avoids that trap as well, and may well shape up into the strongest drama the WB has yet developed.    —L.H.

“Jonny Zero”

FREE VIDEO My hero, Zero Hangin’ with ‘Jonny Zero’ Buena Vista Pictures

A tormented man who tries to redeem his past actions by solving crimes in the present – does that plot sound familiar? No, the WB didn't accidentally put “Angel” back on the air, but “Jonny Zero” (premieres January 2005 at 9 p.m. ET on FOX) does bear some remarkable similarities to the defunct vampire show.

Instead of a tormented vampire with a soul, Jonny Calvo (Franky G of “The Italian Job”) is a tormented ex-con who served four years for killing a teen drug dealer. Before he went into the joint, he served as muscle for notorious club owner Joseph Garret (Ritchie Coster) and roughed up more than a few guys using some extremely violent methods. Now that he’s out, of course, he’d like to go straight. While Garret and his goons pressure him to come back to work, the FBI wants him to go undercover and investigate Garret for them. Somehow, in the midst of all this, Calvo finds he has a talent for doing a little investigating of his own and becomes an inadvertent private eye. Yes, there is a comic sidekick, Random (played by real-life DJ GQ), whose white-boy hip-hop act is more irritating than amusing.

Set in New York, this show is desperate to be gritty, which just makes it all the more ridiculous (see “The Shield” for an actual gritty show). I’d expect better from “ER” creator John Wells. Franky G has an appealing presence, but this show is just too foolish for his talents.   —P.N.

“Kevin Hill”

FREE VIDEO Oh, baby ‘Kevin Hill’ goes from bachelor to daddy. UPN

Take a deep breath. The best show of the new season is on UPN. Yes, UPN. “Kevin Hill” (premieres Sept. 9, 9 p.m. ET) is proof that a terrific cast, great writing and a sense of humor can turn even the most tired of concepts (“adorable tyke turns bachelor's life upside down”) into TV gold.

Kevin Hill (Taye Diggs) is living the good life as a hotshot New York lawyer when his no-good cousin dies, leaving him with a baby girl. A flustered Kevin tries to cope, calling old girlfriends to baby-sit and dumping the unhappy tot on his pissed-off secretary during a business meeting. Needless to say, none of this works (though it is highly entertaining to watch), and Kevin soon finds himself at a new, smaller, law firm — surrounded by women who aren’t that impressed with Mr. Player.

A different star (and less talented writing) might make this setup unwatchable, but Diggs (still best known as the hunk in “How Stella Got Her Groove Back”) is charming, arrogant, fallible and adorable all at the same time. Think Jimmy Smits in “L.A. Law,” but funnier and in a better show.

Diggs is surrounded by an outstanding supporting cast, including not one but two “Homicide” vets (Jon Seda, Michael Michele) and Patrick Breen as the acerbic gay nanny who steals every scene he’s in. Assuming the show can keep the maudlin moments to a minimum, UPN should have its second bona fide hit.   —Lori Smith

"LAX"

FREE VIDEO On the fly Heather Locklear stars in ‘LAX’ NBC

Security breaches. Drunken pilots. Baggage handler screw-ups. Feuding executives. Just another day at “LAX” (premieres Sept. 13, 10 p.m. ET on NBC). And if the pilot episode is indicative of what’s to come at “LAX”, the FAA is likely to shut this airport down by the end of September. If there was this much action at a real airport, no one would ever get off the ground.

Heather Locklear plays Harley, the take-no-prisoners runway chief who is locked in a battle with terminal chief Roger (played by Blair Underwood) for the airport manager’s job, which becomes vacant in very dramatic fashion in the opening sequence. The competition between Hayley and Roger is fierce, and childish, but what’s an airport drama without anger and sexual tension? Also battling for airtime at this hub is Tony (Paul Leyden), the hunky airline coordinator, LAPD officer Henry Engels (Frank John Hughes), Customs Agent Betty (Wendy Hoopes) and rookie Immigration officer Nick (David Paetkau).

The action is fast-paced and far-fetched (baggage handlers chase a dog throughout the airport and onto the runway), but it just keeps on coming to a rockin’ soundtrack. Underwood is at his slick smoothest and Locklear has conjured up an older, angrier Amanda, the vicious vixen she played to perfection on “Melrose Place”. Depending on what the producers do with the tension between the two stars, “LAX” will either cruise through the season or come in for an early emergency landing.    —Denise Hazlick

“life as we know it”

FREE VIDEO That’s ‘Life’ Kelly Osbourne tries her hand at acting in ‘Life as We Know It’ ABC Television Network

When the name of a former "Freaks and Geeks" producers shows up on a new show about adolescent life, viewer hopes soar sky-high. "life as we know it" (premiering Oct. 7, 9 p.m. ET on ABC) has promise, but early indications are that it seems to want to mimic "Porky's" as much as it does "Freaks."

Based on the British novel "Doing It" (which was slammed by the UK Guardian newspaper for its extremely graphic sexual content), "Life" focuses on three high school boys who, in the tradition of teen boys everywhere, think about sex almost all the time. But unlike the subtle sex jokes of many shows, this show puts it all out there, pushing the envelope with its suggestive language and visuals. (The show may be about high schoolers, but I'd be uncomfortable watching it with them.)

The students of "Freaks" were so appealing because their traumas felt realistic. Not so on "Life," where a sexy young teacher goes after one of the boys, and another's mom is caught having an affair with a coach. In one more realistic plot, Ozzy Osbourne's daughter Kelly plays the boys' classmate, Deborah, who comes under fire for not being a size 2 — some of the comments directed at her are unbearably nasty. Osbourne does a decent job playing a high-schooler, and her non-Hollywood looks give her depth (that said, her British accent slips in and out in a distracting way).

For "Life" to go on, the three boys will have to develop distinct personalities and stand out from one another, rather than all seeming simply sex-crazed. The writing feels fresh and the dialogue natural. Like the adolescents it portrays, if the show can settle down and focus on something other than sex for a bit, it could graduate to bigger things. —G.F.C.

"Lost"

FREE VIDEO ‘Lost’ and found ‘Lost’ is no ‘Gilligan’s Island.’ ABC Television Network

Is it a high-concept thriller? Absolutely. A compelling drama, packed with intriguing characters? Yep. A sci-fi adventure? Stay tuned. “Lost” (premieres Sept. 22, Wednesdays, 8 p.m. ET on ABC), is a lot of things, and cookie-cutter isn’t one of them. The latest from genre-bending thrillmeister J.J. Abrams (“Alias,” “Felicity”), “Lost” follows the exploits of 48 plane-crash survivors as they fight to stay alive on a tropical island. Ably led by Matthew Fox (“Party of Five”) and newcomer Evangeline Lilly, “Lost” features nearly a dozen actors — including former “Oz” inmate Harold Perrineau, Jr.; former “Angel” baddie Daniel Dae Kim; and former hobbit Dominic Monaghan — but it doesn’t feel overstuffed.

Fox is less dour and even more likable here than in prior roles. And if Abrams’ track record for crafting multifaceted, strong-yet-vulnerable characters for women is any indication (Jennifer Garner and Keri Russell, anyone?), Lilly found a sure-thing springboard to an even bigger career, no matter how long this series lasts.

If there’s any justice in TVland, it’ll stick around for a while. With another three dozen survivors waiting to step into the dramatic spotlight, the writers (including David Fury from “Angel” and Damon Lindelof from “Crossing Jordan,” who's also co-executive producer) are already well equipped to keep the momentum going, even if some of the original characters meet untimely demises. Which could happen anytime, courtesy of the mysterious — and hungry — creature lurking amid the foliage. Producers swear it’s not a dinosaur, but so what if it is? With so many entertaining elements already in place, the audience might permit a few gaps in logic — and even a dinosaur or two — to creep into the underbrush.    —Brian Bellmont

"Medical Investigation"

FREE VIDEO The doctors are in ‘Medical Investigation’: All over but the shouting. NBC

Bet you didn’t realize the field of epidemiology was a high-wire act. Rapid-fire back-and-forth shouting, blood draws, biochemistry, detective work and did I mention the SHOUTING? “Medical Investigation” (premieres Sept. 10, 10 p.m. ET, on NBC), which is based on true accounts, could do for the National Institutes of Health what “CSI” did for medical examiners.

Medical calamities are breaking out all over, and it’s up to Dr. Stephen Conner (played by “Boomtown’s” Neal McDonough) to get to the bottom of things and come to the rescue. But his devotion to his work has cost him his family. Joining Conner in the field is his assistant, Dr. Natalie Durant (Kelli Williams, late of “The Practice”), a pathologist who challenges her boss, both intellectually and vocally (Did I mention the shouting?). Rounding out Conner’s team is medical inspector Frank Powell (Troy Winbush), “wunderkind” Dr. Miles McCabe (Christopher Gorham) and plucky publicist Anna Belknap (Eva Rossi), who goes to great lengths to keep the latest plague out of the press.

In the pilot episode, Conner and his team try to figure out why a New York hospital is being inundated with patients that are turning blue and dying, quickly. And to get those answers he turns to, well, the scientific method. Questions, evidence, examinations, tests, assumptions made and proven. Pretty flashy, huh? In real life, no, but on “Medical Investigation”, the drama is constant and in-your-face. Americans love their medical and crime shows. They might love this one too.    —D.H.

"The Mountain"

FREE VIDEO Hill of beans ‘The Mountain’ focuses on a family ski resort. WB

Somewhere in Hollywood, before every fall season, a large mechanical device beeps and grinds and cranks and ultimately spits out goofy and nonsensical stinkbombs like "The Mountain," (premieres Sept. 22, 9 p.m. ET) the WB's latest effort at crossing drama with sports that would have qualified as "extreme" in about 1996.

Oliver Hudson (late of "Dawson's Creek," so you know he's really talented) plays rakish ne'er-do-well David Carver, who — in one of those plot twists that you're supposed to hum loudly to yourself and try to ignore — is forced by the provisions of his grandfather's will to take over his family's ski resort. No, really. Of course, this irks his long-suffering brother, who has been toiling away, waxing skis and whatnot, while David was off pursuing a career racing bicycles in the mud. NO, REALLY.

If you've ever watched, say, a single episode of "Scooby-Doo," you won't be surprised to hear that evil lurks on the horizon in the form of the villainous Dowlings (headed by an obviously cash-poor Mitch Pileggi), who want to raze the resort and put up condos or mini-malls or something. Will David save the resort so his mother — oh, Barbara Hershey, what are you thinking? — can stay? Will a woman come between David and his brother? And will the WB find a place to cram in a platonic and geeky best friend pained to be ignored by the girl he loves, because it's the WB, and that's the law? Hey, you're cheating! You've watched TV before!  —L.H.

“Veronica Mars”

FREE VIDEO Women are from ‘Mars’ ‘Veronica Mars’ has plenty of problems. UPN

And you thought your adolescence sucked. The title character of “Veronica Mars” (premieres Sept. 22, 9 p.m. ET, on UPN) loses her best friend and then her boyfriend after her father the sheriff accuses the wrong person (or does he?) of the best friend’s murder. Then Veronica's mother leaves town (or does she?) and all the cool kids turn against her. Why, it’s enough to drive a girl to cut off her hair and buy a taser gun!

Veronica is extra plucky, though, so she cruises around town helping out her dad as a private investigator and looking for answers to how her life turned so crappy. Along the way she befriends both a nerd and the biker gang who beats up on him and even has time to break a few dozen laws. ‘Cause she’s edgy like that.

If you can get past the ludicrous plot (and the annoying Angela Chase-esque voiceovers), the show actually isn’t half-bad. You’ll roll your eyes a lot — particularly at the cheesy flashback scenes — but the writing is better than the plotting and there are a lot of great lines. The mostly unknown cast is quite likeable, particularly Kristen Bell in the title role and Francis Capra as the biker gang leader. Plus, there’s a cute dog. Time slot rival “One Tree Hill” (WB) could be in trouble.    —L.S.

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