Dog days of summer offer cool shows

Summertime, the song goes, and the livin’ is easy. Too bad when the temperature climbs, finding TV worth watching can be more sweat-inducing than mowing the lawn in a three-piece suit. Between the scores of network reruns and the explosion of cheap-to-produce reality TV, most viewers think the dog days of summer deliver little to bark about.

But if you flip hard enough, there are enough sweet, light little nuggets of cathode-ray refreshment to be found, most of it an exceedingly quirky alternative to standard network fare. Forget about high-profile summer series like “Six Feet Under,” “The Simple Life 2” and “Summerland.” From inept sheriff’s deputies to Erik Estrada, from flighty pop singers to talking balls of meat, there’s plenty of other weirdness to watch. Thanks, basic cable.

"Newlyweds: Nick and Jessica"
Like Cousin Oliver on the “The Brady Bunch” and towheaded Sam on “Diff’rent Strokes,” there’s a new face to spice things up on “Newlyweds,” MTV’s breakout hit starring singers Jessica Simpson and Nick Lachey.

Damian Dovarganes / AP file Nick Lachey and Jessica Simpson have been joined by CaCee, Jessica's personal assistant.

For the first few episodes of the summer season, at least, Jessica’s personal assistant CaCee crashes at Chez Simpson/Lachey, and quickly wriggles her way under Nick’s skin. So far, CaCee and Jessica have outrun paparazzi, discussed (miserably) what a “double” is in baseball, and undergone laser eye surgery, leaving Nick shaking his head at every perplexing moment.

This season, it appears that Jessica has developed a rudimentary grasp of the English language, although she still had to ask her mom what it meant to “nuke” food. The best moment so far was Nick teasing Jessica over how silly it is to treat her mom’s dog like a human. “Okay, Jessica,” Nick says, rolling his eyes. “You’ll have to let me know when her birthday is so we can recognize it and send her a card.”

“I did,” Jessica shrugs. “I ate cake with her.” Dog days, indeed.
"Newlyweds: Nick & Jessica" airs on MTV on Wednesdays at 10 p.m. ET.

"The Ashlee Simpson Show"
Omigawd. This sort-of spin-off of MTV’s “Newlyweds” follows Jessica’s little sis Ashlee as she records her debut CD, clings to boyfriends and waxes philosophically about the music biz. Produced again by dad Joe Simpson, “Ashlee” primarily functions as a 30-minute commercial for the “7^th Heaven” actress’s album.

Chronically late, effervescently bouncy, and like, 19 years old, the littlest Simpson does have some synapse-shorting stuff in common with her big sister. Just a few episodes into the show’s run, and we’ve already found out that she can’t pronounce “carnation,” she’s never cut a tomato, and she doesn’t know how to sweep a floor. Still, Ashlee comes off as much more of a normal girl than the water-cooler-discussion-worthy dim-bulb character Jessica built a career on, which tends to dampen the entertainment value of the show.
"The Ashlee Simpson Show" airs on MTV on Wednesdays at 10:30 p.m. ET.

"Reno 911!"
Launched a full 15 years after “COPS,” the show it spoofs, Comedy Central’s “Reno 911!” is nonetheless fresh as a hot-from-the-oil glazed doughnut.

Comedy Central’s ‘Reno 911!’ is fresh as a hot-from-the-oil glazed doughnut.

Like the show that spawned it, “Reno” features hefty amounts of shaky camera work, blurred nudity and bleeped swearing. But its real appeal is its cast of skilled improvisational actors, several of whom worked together on the mid-90s sketch comedy shows “The State” and “Viva Variety.” Their familiarity and confidence playing off each other pays off in some truly hilarious moments.

Two standouts: Thomas Lennon as Lt. Jim Dangle, their short-short-wearing leader; and Kerri Kenney-Silver as Deputy Trudy Wiegel, who says something wildly inappropriate every time she opens her mouth. Whether they’re testing their new bulletproof vests by shooting at each other, or refusing to rescue a writer’s manuscript from his burning house because it’s derivative, these incompetent cops are definitely worth checking out.
"Reno 911!" airs on Comedy Central on Wednesdays at 10:30 p.m. ET.

"Primetime Glick"

Comedy Central / BW Hollywood legend Jiminy Glick (Martin Short) keeps his Hollywood guests off-balance.

If it’s improv you seek, look no further than Martin Short’s brilliant, corpulent creation Jiminy Glick. Currently relegated to midday reruns on Comedy Central, “Primetime Glick” stuffs the amazingly pliable (physically, vocally and improvisationally) Short into a fat suit, huge glasses and wig and turns him loose. The show blends scripted segments, scenes with his often-drunk wife, Dixie (Jan Hooks), and Hollywood spoofs with real-life celeb interviews, the sweet center of this chocolate-covered truffle of a show.

Yes, Glick’s shtick can grow a bit grating, but just try to keep a straight face as the clueless talk-show host lobs insults — or, sometimes, his entire body — at his celebrity guests until they crack up. The celebs try their damndest to play along and keep from giggling, but Short is as persistent as they come, a textbook example of the extent a comedian will go to get the laugh. In an interview with Tom Hanks, for instance, Glick keeps referring to him as “Tom Hank,” until the actor finally corrects him. “Hanks,” says Hanks. “You’re welcome,” says Glick, and Hanks loses it.
"Primetime Glick" airs on Comedy Central on Tuesdays and Thursdays at 2 and 2:30 p.m. ET.

"Sealab 2021"
Spun from the straight-as-straight-can-be 1972 Hanna-Barbera cartoon series “Sealab 2020,” which documented the travails of scientists in an underwater domed city, “Sealab 2021,” uh, isn’t about that at all. Cobbling together pieces of the original show, spankin’ new animation and — most importantly — hilarious new scripts and voiceover, “Sealab 2021” ain’t your father’s “Sealab.”

Yeah, it’s got the domed city, but the original cast has been replaced by a bizarre-as-they-come crew: Off-his-rocker Captain Murphy; Marco Rodrigo Diaz de Vivar Gabriel Garcia Marquez (Erik Estrada!); sweet-haired “Stormy” Waters; two women named Debbie (one black, one white); and genius Dr. Quinn, the relative normal one of the bunch; along with Sparks, Hesch and Dolphin Boy (don’t ask).

It’s surreal, twisted, politically incorrect, and decidedly adult. Episodes of the reinvented “Sealab” have focused on scorpion venom, human brains in robot bodies, and a little creature named Squishface — and those are the plot descriptions that make sense. Kind of. “Sealab” is a devilish mix of pop culture references, in-jokes, and humor that runs from deadpan to absurd. As they say on the show: “Shut up, Mailboxhead.”

Uh, wha?

Exactly.
"Sealab 2021" airs on Cartoon Network Sundays at 11:45 p.m. ET.

"Aqua Teen Hunger Force"
Also part of Cartoon Network’s “Adult Swim” block, “Aqua Teen Hunger Force” is the most entertaining 15 minutes on the tube today, and as deliciously appropriate for summer as a Happy Meal. Not quite as surreal as “Sealab,” “ATHF” stars … well, a Happy Meal. The show features a trio of crime fighters who barely fight crime: a floating container of French fries, a sarcastic shake and a dense, though good-natured meatball.

The Teens steal his paper, siphon electricity from his house, and get him killed. Repeatedly. Yet Carl keeps coming back for more.

The animation calls to mind a kiddie cartoon, but the show is so strictly aimed at a mature audience, it sometimes makes “South Park” look like “Blue’s Clues.” Relationships to emulate, these ain’t. Witness poor little Meatwad as he’s constantly tormented by Master Shake: “He told me to get into the freezer because there was a carnival in there,” Meatwad laments. “There was no carnival; it was a damn freezer. I got freezer burn, I got mushed up against that chicken.”

But my favorite is Carl, the Sipowicz-meets-Ratso Rizzo neighbor, and his uneasy (yet oddly nonplussed) relationship with the Aqua Teens. “Hello there, Mister Food Monster Man,” he sighs to Shake. Along the way, the Teens steal his paper, siphon electricity from his house, and get him killed. Repeatedly. Yet Carl keeps coming back for more.
"Aqua Teen Hunger Force" airs on Cartoon Network Sundays at 12 a.m. ET and various other times Su-F.

Fall TV season? Who needs it
The best part of these bursts of summer refreshment is that the respective basic cable networks that run them aren’t shy about repeating each episode several — if not dozens — of times. So audiences can catch every refreshingly odd second over and over.

Kind of makes you wish summer lasted forever.

Brian Bellmont is a freelance writer in Minneapolis

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