A toast to TV’s best
(and worst) dads

Even Hallmark doesn't make a Father's Day card appropriate for Bart and Lisa Simpson. But imagine if they did.

Bart's could read "Dear Dad: Even though you forgot to pick me up from soccer and I got struck by lightning, and I pretended you were a drunken gambler so I could join the Bigger Brother program, Happy Father's Day!"

And Lisa's could say "Dear Dad: Even though you wouldn't take me to the Treasures of Isis exhibit at the museum and I had to take a bus and I took the wrong one and had to get a ride in a truck with a bunch of dead animals, you're still my dad!"

TV dads have come a long way from "Father Knows Best," which ironically, took place in a town called Springfield, just like "The Simpsons" does. Here's our look at 10 of our favorite TV dads — some good, some bad — of the 1970s, 1980s, 1990s and 2000s. (As much as we love Ricky Ricardo, Ward Cleaver, Ozzie Nelson and other more vintage dads, we had to draw the line somewhere.)

Homer Simpson, Dad with the D'oh
Homer doesn't exactly set a good example for his kids. He's not smart (playing blackjack, he hits on 21). He's not hard-working (he intentionally gains weight to qualify for disability). When asked if he liked kids, his response was "What do you mean, all the time? Even when they're nuts?"

When Bart threatens to jump Springfield Gorge on a skateboard, Homer shows up and ends up doing it for him. Accidentally, but still.

Yet Homer truly loves his offspring, and when roused from the couch, he'll do his damndest to support them. He decorates his work station with pictures of baby Maggie. When he's made temporarily smarter, he writes Lisa a note telling her his new intelligence has only made him appreciate her more. And when Bart threatens to jump Springfield Gorge on a skateboard, Homer shows up and ends up doing it for him. Accidentally, but still.

Is Homer a good or a bad dad? Depends on what's most important to you in a father. If you want a dad to set a good example, go to church, read to his children, and get involved in their school and home success, well, then Homer's not your man. But if a good dad is someone who loves his kids, loves their mother, and somehow manages to make a happy home, then you couldn't do much better than Homer. Well, you could, but that's not the point. In Homer's own words "Kids, just because I don't care doesn't mean I'm not listening."

Frank Costanza, Dad for the rest of us
Frank's doctor once told gave him a mantra: When his blood pressure began to rise, he was supposed to say "Serenity now." For most patients, that might have been a quiet chant, but for Frank, it was screamed at top volume, as was almost everything he said.

It might not be all Frank's fault. After all, a son like "Seinfeld's" George Costanza, unemployed, unfriendly and living at home well into his 30s, could try any man's patience. It's little wonder that Frank invented Festivus, "the holiday for the rest of us," which somehow involved a pole, feats of strength and the airing of grievances.

His wife isn't much help either. Estelle Costanza is whiny, manipulative and the queen of Queens when it comes to guilt trips. Still, Frank manages to always have some kind of scheme going on, whether it's translating the words of a catty manicurist for Elaine, threatening to move to Florida to taunt the Seinfeld parents, or plotting with Kramer to sell a line of bras for men. As Frank once said: "I'm like the Phoenix, rising from Arizona."

Archie Bunker, Bigoted Dad
Archie Bunker once described his family as "A meathead, a dingbat, a woman's lib and a bald-headed kid." And that was nothing compared to the words he used to describe those of other races and ethnicities. How did such a prejudiced character end up being one of TV's most beloved?

Probably because he talked like a bigot, but his bark was always worse than his bite. Favorite foil George Jefferson could always put one over on Archie, and he knew it. Archie may have called son-in-law Mike "Meathead," "Polack," and every other name in the book, but he still let Mike and Gloria live in his house for the first five years of their marriage.

And he was proud of his young father days, too, saying "I never left Gloria alone when she was a baby. Wherever I went, I made sure Edith was with her."

Mike Brady, Blended-Family Dad
In the years since "The Brady Bunch" went off the air, a lot of secrets about the show have come out. We learned about the actors' personal lives — that Robert Reed was gay, and Florence Henderson and Barry Williams once went out on a date. We also learned that Reed, who played Mike Brady, had hated the schmaltzy sitcom, even refusing to appear in the final episode, which featured son Greg's high-school graduation. (He'd have a little more moral high ground if he hadn't also starred in "Bloodlust," a movie so bad it became a Mystery Science Theater 3000 episode.)

Mike Brady was the kids' dad, not their friend, and if none of the Brady Six ever ended up in jail, rehab or bankruptcy court, he was a large part of the reason why.

But while Reed may have hated playing Mike Brady, those of us who were kids in the 1970s adored him. A cool-and-collected architect by day, he was a true-blue husband and ace father by night. Weaving three daughters into his family couldn't have been easy, and admittedly, he needed a few lessons in women's lib. (Marcia showed him a thing or two by joining the formerly all-male Frontier Scouts.)

But overall, he was devoted to his children without getting all "thirtysomething" mushy about it. His parenting ranged from the cliched ("A wise man forgets his anger before he lies down to sleep.") to the inventive (Marcia and Greg prove who's the better driver by swerving around traffic cones on an obstacle course.) He was the kids' dad, not their friend, and if none of the Brady Six ever ended up in jail, rehab or bankruptcy court, he was a large part of the reason why.

Cliff Huxtable, Doctor Dad
Cliff Huxtable, the "Cosby Show" character, and Bill Cosby, the comedian who played him, were interchangable. One of Cosby's lines from his comedy routine — "I brought you kids into this world, and I can take you out" — made its way to the show, where it garnered at least as big a laugh as it did in the clubs.

Heathcliff Huxtable was a doctor, his wife Claire a lawyer, and their well-dressed, well-appointed family showed a still-so-white TV Land that African-American families could be just as monetarily successful as whites. That said, Cliff wasn't about to give his kids everything they wanted. As he once told Theo: "No boy should have a $95 shirt unless he is onstage with his four brothers."

And money was far from everything for the Huxtables. For parents with such time-consuming jobs, Cliff and Claire seemed to be around the house as much as any stay-at-home parent, Cliff especially. And his creative parenting looked so cool onscreen that any kid watching wished for him as a dad. In one episode, Cliff transformed their home into the Real World Apartments, with Claire, Denise, Vanessa and little Rudy all taking roles to teach brother Theo about the realities of life outside. But one question was never answered: With a dad like Cliff, why would he even consider leaving home in the first place?

Charles Ingalls, Prairie Dad
Those of us who were devoted to Laura Ingalls Wilder's "Little House" books were disappointed by some factual goofs the show made when transferring her "Little House on the Prairie" to TV. Dog Jack was a bulldog in real life, not whatever Benji-like breed the show featured. Rural Minnesota didn't have the mountains that often appeared in the background of the supposed prairie. And perhaps most jarring of all, Laura's dad, Charles "Pa" Ingalls, didn't have the beard that his daughter spoke of so fondly in her books.

In one episode, Nellie's father, Nels, admirably called Charles Ingalls ‘the richest man in Walnut Grove,’ and so he was.

Fans got over it. Michael Landon seemed born to play Laura and Mary's beloved dad. He was understanding in the way that we think of modern fathers being, but at the same time, tough, as was required by the American frontier. When he learned a friend of Laura's had one leg shorter than the other, he made her special shoes. When he discovered another friend of theirs was being beaten by his drunken father, he stayed with the man to try and keep him sober. And when the whole world, it seemed, drew themselves up against the Indians, he befriended them and took them food.

The Ingalls family never had the money that Laura's nemesis, Nellie Oleson's family did. The girls were often teased for being "country girls," and could only look enviously at the many store-bought possessions of others. Yet in one episode, Nellie's father Nels admirably called Charles Ingalls "the richest man in Walnut Grove," and so he was. Rich in love, in respect, and in strength. No money could buy that.

Tony Soprano, Mob Dad
The Huxtable family had a lot of money, but also good solid family relationships. The Ingalls family had very little money, but plenty of love and respect. In Tony Soprano's family, money was never lacking, but not all the ill-gotten gains in the world could buy this family stability.

Tony and Carmela Soprano consider daughter Meadow their big success story, and so she is — outwardly. She's an Ivy League scholar who's done volunteer work and always pleased her teachers. Yet emotionally, she's a bit of a mess — and who wouldn't be, with a dad who kills people, including one of Meadow's former boyfriends — and lies about it?

A.J. Soprano is another story entirely. It seems a month doesn't go by before Tony and Carm are being hauled down to their son's high school to hear about his latest problems — if he's not flunking out, he's wreaking havoc at the school swimming pool.

Tony had a messed-up childhood himself, with parents like Livia and Johnny Boy Soprano, but he didn't seem to have learned from their mistakes. Let's hope he gets a group discount with psychiatrist Melfi, because Meadow and A.J. are going to need at least as much therapy as their dad's had. If they survive the show's final season, that is.

Dan Conner, Blue-Collar Dad
TV dads were rarely seen struggling to make ends meet before Dan Conner on "Roseanne." Life in Lanford, Ill. wasn't easy for the Conner family, yet they still managed to hold on to a decent-sized house and their jumbo-sized senses of humor. Mother Roseanne was the star, but without Dan, this family's foundation would have crumbled faster than a loose-meat sandwich at the Lanford Lunchbox.

Mother Roseanne was the star, but without Dan, this family's foundation would have crumbled faster than a loose-meat sandwich at the Lanford Lunchbox

Not only did Dan have to deal with wife Roseanne (he once described her PMS as "like a 24 hour roller coaster ride with Sybil at the switch"), but his kids didn't exactly make life easy for him either. Becky was always in trouble, consumed with boys and sneaking out. Darlene was less trouble on the surface, but her always-witty, sometimes-depressed, pre-Lisa Simpson personality was equally mystifying to a dad like Dan. And son D.J. had his own share of problems, from stealing the car to go joyriding to his own romantic interludes.

Dan could crack jokes right along with Roseanne when the going was good, but when times turned dark, he was the man you'd always want on your side. He took on a second job to raise money for an anniversary present for Roseanne. When he learned that Roseanne's sister, Jackie, may have been abused by her boyfriend, he took out after the guy.

Near the end of the show, "Roseanne" took some risks. After a bizarre season and a half in which Dan has a heart attack at Darlene's wedding, was revealed as cheating on Roseanne and the Conners won the lottery, a startling monologue from Roseanne reveals that everything after Dan's heart attack was her own invention, and that he did not survive the attack. The revelation hit viewers right in the gut much the same way as "M*A*S*H's" Radar revealing that Col. Henry Blake's plane was shot down. Roseanne got the show's title, but in many ways, Dan was its heart.

Al Bundy, Disaster Dad
"Married with Children" patriarch Al Bundy pushed the envelope of what TV dads could get away with. In one episode, he accidentally shot the neighbors' dog. When he took wife Peg away for a night to celebrate their anniversary, he did so solely to watch a boxing match on the hotel's TV.

No one is safe from Al's insults  —  he criticizes his wife, his kids, and everything about his shoe-store job. Yet Al is really his own worst enemy, as he flunks his driving test, goes on a spending spree with a credit card made out to the dog, and moves his family into the shoe store while their house is being fumigated. He didn't want to sleep with Peg, but at the same time, he was never going to leave her or the kids. Kelly and Bud, meanwhile, seemed to know they've lost the Dad Lottery, but it really never bothers them — they both have enough problems of their own.

"Married with Children" seems tame after years of "Fear Factor" and "Temptation Island," but back in the day it was considered so racy that a group, "Americans for Responsible Television," was founded almost solely to fight the show. Al Bundy would have been shocked to know he garnered such media attention. After all, he was a man with such small dreams — a wife who doesn't bother him, kids who stay out of his way, and most of all, a job that doesn't involve touching feet.

Howard Cunningham, Fifties Dad
Howard Cunningham of "Happy Days" might have been the perfect 1950s dad, except for one kind of major flaw. What kind of dad doesn't even appear to notice when his eldest son, Chuck, simply disappears? Chuck floated around the show for the first two seasons, then was either abducted by aliens or joined some early Milwaukee cult, never to be seen again. Howard and wife Marion chose not to mention it

With Chuck gone, Howard made up for the loss by serving as father figure not only to his own Richie and Joanie, but by letting neighborhood greaser-turned-idol Fonzie move into his garage. And although Ralph Malph and Potsie didn't technically live at the Cunningham house, they were there so often that they might as well have.

Like Mike Brady, "Mr. C" was never on the kids' level. He was the boss, he was the dad, he was friendly but not their friend. And an amazingly good one, at that, even for his times — in one episode, the Cunninghams host the wedding of one of Howard's army buddies. The neighborhood isn't thrilled, because the buddy happens to be black, but that never would have bothered Howard. He saw people's characters, never their color.

Howard wasn't perfect. He and Richie argued about politics (Richie was for Adlai Stevenson, while Howard liked Ike), school and girls, and Howard was perhaps a little bit too devoted to his Leopard Lodge. But when his kids — and their friends — needed him, he was as reliable as Fonzie was cool.

Gael Fashingbauer Cooper is MSNBC's TV Editor

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