‘Shaolin Soccer’ kicks up some fun

REVIEW

By Anthony Breznican

updated 3:27 p.m. ET March 31, 2004

“Shaolin Soccer” is light, silly, goofy and deranged — part “Enter the Dragon,” part “Hoosiers,” and part “Naked Gun.”

It may not always choose the right parts, but at least it tries.

Stephen Chow, the film’s co-writer, director and star, plays Sing — a vagrant who learned the ways of shaolin with his five brothers and inspires a down-on-his-luck former soccer star (Ng Man Tat) to coach a team using spectacular martial arts techniques.

How spectacular?

The chubby youngest brother can hover in midair. The oldest brother can hammer his head like an anvil. The third brother has a belly of steel and can grip a soccer ball with his abs. Another is a miraculously fast goalie.

As for Sing, forget bending it like Beckham — he can turn soccer balls into fireballs shaped like cougars as they race into the goal.

Don’t look for much reality here. The villains conk the good guys with wrenches, break bottles over their heads and burn their clothes off in scenes that turn this fantasy sports story into a live-action Chinese version of “Looney Tunes.”

Don’t look for subtlety either. Was it really necessary to name the bad-guy soccer players “Team Evil”? And how many bottles can you break over someone’s head before you’re breaking a bottle over a dead horse?

There is enough inspired strangeness to generate some laughs — such as when Sing’s passion for kung fu inspires a street full of strangers to start synchronized dancing to the tune of Kool & The Gang’s “Celebration.”

Many of the gags will only make audiences scrunch their brows. For instance, who was the bearded lady furiously picking her nose in one inexplicable scene? Thank goodness we never see that character again.

In the end, Sing and his brothers have a showdown with Team Evil loaded with pratfalls, deadpan double takes and Bruce Lee in-jokes.

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