Trying to heal from the tragedy of colon cancer

An estimated 150,000 people in America will be diagnosed with colorectal cancer this year, and while progress is being made to prevent and treat the disease, tragically more than a third of those will die from it. Composer and musician, Steve Tyrell, and his wife Stephanie, learned the hard facts about colon cancer in the worst possible way. This is their story:

Steve and Stephanie Tyrell's love story was one you usually only read about in story books.

“From the second I saw her, she just completely knocked me out,” says Tyrell. 

They met 28 years ago while Steve was working in Texas as a music producer.

“Stephanie came into our place and saw gold records on the wall and stuff. And she said, ‘Oh excuse me, I must be in the wrong place.’ And I said, ‘No. Whoever you are, you are definitely in the right place.’ It was love at first sight,” explains Tyrell. 

Confronting Colon Cancer Learn more about Katie Couric's special series on "Today": Day 1: 'People should not put off screening' Day 2: Facing cold facts of colon cancer Day 3: Coping with tragedy of colon cancer   Day 4: Survivors share their stories Learn more about colorectal cancer prevention, detection and treatment: MSNBC Health: Test your knowledge of colon cancer National Colorectal Cancer Research Alliance

And that love never faded. They married two years later and eventually pooled their talents and started making beautiful music together.

“I started teaching her how to write songs because she could write poetry. So, I start showing her form in song-writing,” says Tyrell.

Their work included the hit song, "How Do You Talk to an Angel," which they wrote together for the TV show, "The Heights.”

Then Steve was asked to produce a soulful version of "The Way You Look Tonight," for the 1991 movie, "Father of the Bride.” The producers ended up asking him to sing it himself.

Says Tyrell, “Stephanie kept after me to do it. She said, ‘You know, you got a different sound on these songs. You should do it. We should do it.’

So, my first album, a new standard, was sorta like Stephanie and I's "Sling Blade." We started passing it around the film community, and the next thing I know, it was released. And it's been on the charts, I think, for four or five years now. And it started me into the world of the great American songbook.”

The Tyrell's had hit musical pay-dirt, but their lives were about to unravel.

“Steph was complaining for quite a while about back pain. And she kept going to a chiropractor. And it just never got better. And I finally said, "Why don't you go to a back doctor? Maybe you have a slipped disk or something. They took an X-ray.  And they saw a lesion on her pelvis,” says Tyrell.

The news only got worse when they went to an oncologist.

Tyrell explains, “When Stephanie was diagnosed, her cancer had already metastasized into her liver and into her spine and into her pelvis. At first it was diagnosed as unknown primary. But as they got into it and did tests, they treated it as colon cancer. Her whole GI tract was completely devastated by this disease. We never talked about how are we gonna get through it. We just chose to have a positive outlook on a horrible situation. She went through this with the same thing that she's went through her whole life, with dignity and grace and poise and unbelievable courage.

One of my all-time favorite photos of her is in the hospital. Here's a woman who's terminally diagnosed -- taking chemotherapy, which is devastating --  a beautiful woman losing her hair, and yet, she'd blown me a kiss you know.”

At the same time Steve and Stephanie were finishing their next "Standards" album together.

“It gave us a chance to concentrate on music. She couldn't go into the studio anymore. So, I would go to the studio, and I'd do the takes. Then I'd come back to the hospital that night. And we would play 'em in the room. All the other albums are about standards. But this last album changed. "This Guy's in Love," was coming from a little bit different place. And I was speaking to her through the songs,” says Tyrell, “I wanted to say, (singing) ‘You see this guy, this guy's in love with you. Yes, I'm in love. Who looks at you the way I do when you smile. I can tell we know each other very well. How can I show you, I'm glad I got to know you.’ That's what I wanted to say to Stephanie.

When the last chemotherapy didn't work, the doctor came to me and said, ‘You know, you really need to talk to your family. I don't think she's gonna last very much longer, and you, you know, you need to say your goodbyes.’

(Crying) And I talked to my son and both my daughters. I felt the worst about Nick. He's 14 years old. And I told him, I said, ‘Man, you know, you've got a -- you got a bad deal,’ you know.

Two days later, she died. And she died in my arms. And I knew she was dying, and I picked her up, and held her. I felt her spirit come right out of her body, and she relaxed. And she was not in pain anymore. 

MSNBC HEALTH: COLON CANCER Colon cancer’s return predicted with new test A new gene test may help predict which colon cancer patients are at higher or lower risk of having their cancer return after surgery, doctors report. Medicare won't cover 'virtual colonoscopy' Hormone therapy may lower colon cancer risk Using 2 newer drugs may worsen colon cancer Racial gap growing in colon cancer deaths

You know I'm going to get a colonoscopy. I have to look at my health a little bit differently. You are always kind of afraid of what you don't know, doesnt hurt me. That's not true in medicine I’m finding out.”

Five months after her death, Steve and his three children try to live on with the same positive outlook they all had when Stephanie was alive, “I had 28 years with a woman that most people would kill to have 28 minutes with. I try to hang onto that. There's so much of her in our family and in all of our hearts and souls.”

Steve Tyrell couldn't bring himself to perform for several months. But now every time he sings the music he and Stephanie made together, it helps heal his broken heart.

Says Tyrell, “She's on stage with me. She pops into my mind when I sing songs. That's the only time I really feel right, is when I'm singing and I'm playing this music. Those moments are wonderful. And they're saving my life.”

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