Is your body a turn-off? Or is it your worries about your body image?

Here’s a short quiz:

1: Do you find that whenever your partner gets romantic, you immediately start worrying about your jiggling thighs and flabby tummy?

2: At bedtime, do you hide your body behind clothing, or always turn the lights out so he can't see your body?

3: Do you maneuver your partner into certain sexual positions because you think you look thinner that way?

Did you answer “yes” to any (or all) of these questions? If so, chances are that you are allowing your dislike of your body to interfere with your ability to enjoy sex with your partner.

Being aroused by your partner's body is, of course, a big part of sexual pleasure. Another, less conscious, part of arousal is imagining what it's like for your partner to be with you – that he is turned on by seeing you and by being physically close. If, however, you are unhappy and self-conscious about your body, then imagining him being with you can make you inhibited and somewhat humiliated.

"WOMEN AND SEX" Here's what we're covering in Dr. Gail Saltz's special "Today" series: MONDAY (Part 1): "I'm just not interested..." TUESDAY (Part 2): "Should I fake it?" WEDNESDAY (Part 3): "I don't feel attractive..."

It’s not difficult to feel this way. We are surrounded by media images of female bodies that make us think that our ribs should show, our butts should be tiny, and that our breasts should be both full and perky.

But it's just not realistic. For instance, a survey of 10,000 people in 13 cities published this week in the New York Times found that the average clothing size for the American woman – long thought to be a size 8 – is actually a size 14. (It was size 12 just a few years back.)

That is not to say that you shouldn’t try to stay in some sort of shape – being overweight can both leave you unenergtic and unhealthy. But you should also bear in mind that many models have been surgically enhanced and their photos airbrushed, while others have eating disorders.

The irony is that most men are turned on by the things that many women think are problematic with their bodies – in other words, their curves.

They also are aroused by women who are confident and unselfconscious, so they are unlikely to find you sexy if you are always asking them, "Oh, God, is my butt too flabby!" or "Are my breasts too droopy?"

If any of this rings true, it's time to realize that poor self image is getting in the way of your sex life. Here are some suggestions to help you sort it out:

1. Stop comparing
Measuring your body against that of an 18-year-old Latvian model is an exercise in futility and an almost automatic set-up for disappointment. Begin to realize that this constant comparison will make you feel insecure and could be damaging your sex life.

2. Concentrate on the positive
Most women see themselves as heavier than they actually are. Instead of thinking negatively about your body, list three things you like about it. Concentrate on these parts – and how sexy you can be.

3. Look in the mirror
If you think your body is unattractive, then chances are you've been avoiding looking at yourself. Well, it's time to get reacquainted with your body. Get in front of a mirror and see how curvy (and sexy) your body is.

4. Do something about it
If you need a tune-up, then stop avoiding it and join a gym. Apart from helping fight flab, it’ll make you more energetic and enthusiastic. Ttake an exercise class with a friend ... or take a walk with your partner after dinner each night.

5. Take bold baby steps
Sounds like a contradiction, but a few seemingly outrageous moves can make all the difference to helping your feel more positive about your body image. Try taking a shower with him. Leave the lights on at bedtime. Once you've gained your confidence, try a little striptease – you will see that it's a fabulous turn on for him. Give him a chance to show you how much he loves your body and you will see that your body is beautiful.

Dr. Gail Saltz is a psychiatrist with New York Presbyterian Hospital and a regular contributor to “Today.” For more information, you can visit her Web site, www.drgailsaltz.com.

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