Give ‘Ice Age 3’ the cold shoulder

Alonso Duralde Film critic

When kids’ TV offers such colorful, imaginative and entertaining fare as “Yo Gabba Gabba!” and “The Backyardigans,” how has the lazy and unamusing “Ice Age” franchise made its way to a third big-screen outing?

Featuring some of the most phoned-in celebrity voiceovers, uninspiring animation (even in 3-D) and lackadaisical plotting to be found in contemporary kids’ movies, “Ice Age: Dawn of the Dinosaurs” seemingly exists only to give parents and children an air-conditioned activity between “Up” and the upcoming “Ponyo.” Not that going to the mall and lingering over sno-cones in the food court wouldn’t be a more entertaining day out.

Story-wise, this feels like the third season of one of those uninspired sitcoms that manages to stay on the air year after year even though you’ve never met anyone who watches it.

Quick facts Starring: The voices of Ray Romano, Queen Latifah, Denis Leary, John Leguizamo Directors: Carlos Saldanha, Mike Thurmeier Run time: 1 hours, 34 minutes MPAA rating: PG

Woolly mammoth Manny (Ray Romano) and his wife Ellie (Queen Latifah) are expecting their first child, and Manny can’t keep his nerves in check — if he’s not freaking out about the birth itself, he’s trying to “baby-proof the world” for his eventual offspring.

Meanwhile, saber-toothed tiger Diego (Denis Leary) finds he’s not quite so fast on his feet anymore, with gazelles outrunning (and openly mocking) him. With Diego considering striking out on his own and Manny consumed with his impending parenthood, goofy sloth Sid (John Leguizamo) decides he’s going to start a family of his own, so he brings home three apparently abandoned eggs.

When those eggs hatch, Sid finds himself parenting three baby dinosaurs — which brings their real mother out of hiding, and not in the best of moods. Sid gets carried off with the brood, prompting his friends to follow him under the ice to a secret underground world where the last few remaining dinosaurs are still living. Guiding them through the brush is the half-bonkers Buck (Simon Pegg), who knows his way around.

And then … pretty much nothing interesting or exciting or funny happens. While Buck makes for a welcome addition to the cast, none of these characters are detailed or interesting enough to be engaging, and most of the big names involved (except Pegg and Leguizamo) do little to invest their roles with anything resembling a pulse.

Once again, the highlight of the film is the adventures of the Scrat (squirrel + rat) and his endless pursuit of a slippery acorn; this time, his efforts put him in conflict with a sexy Scratte, who battles with him until the duo decides that love is more important than sustenance.

Given the effectiveness of the non-verbal Scrat scenes in the “Ice Age” movies and the silent opening sequences of “Wall-E” and “Up,” how long will it be until someone bites the bullet and makes a silent cartoon? With enough wit and excitement, such a movie could totally hold audiences’ attentions for 90 minutes.

Unlike “Ice Age: Dawn of the Dinosaurs,” that is; I don’t know if Timex or any of the major timepiece manufacturers gives out a Most Glances at Wristwatch award for movies, but if they do, this achingly monotonous cartoon has a lock on at least a nomination.

Follow msnbc.com Movie Critic Alonso Duralde at http://www.twitter.com/MSNBCalonso.

Movie reviews Visit our new section for movie reviews, showtimes and more.

MORE FROM AT THE MOVIES

Bah, humbug! ‘A Christmas Carol’ has no spirit

Bah, humbug! ‘A Christmas Carol’ has no spirit ‘Precious’ not perfect but performances are ‘The Men Who Stare at Goats’ lacks focus ‘The Box’ comes up completely empty ‘Fourth Kind’ is a half-baked mess ‘Gentlemen Broncos’: A condescending comedy ‘Boondock Saints’ makes unwelcome return ‘Astro Boy’ a wild and wonderful robot romp Stodgy ‘Amelia’ never gets off the ground ‘Vampire’s Assistant’ juggles chills, chuckles   Add At the movies headlines to your news reader: