HotmailBoys 101: Writer offers teen girls a crash course
Making His Move
Suppose you’re just minding your own business, and a guy you know starts treating you a little differently. What’s the deal? Is he giving you the puzzled look because he’s wondering what you’re thinking, or because you have something in your teeth? When he says “hi” in the hall, is he just being nice, or is he seeking you out? With all the seeming mixed signals guys put out there, how are you supposed to know if he’s hitting on you or just being weird? Here are some signals that are not at all mixed.
He gives you a playful nudge or poke in the side. This is basically left over from his days on the playground when he would punch girls if he liked them. By finding a way to touch you, he’s showing he’s interested, but he’s doing it in a way that doesn’t put him at risk for getting rejected.
He wants to help out. If he’s willing to volunteer with you on a Saturday morning or help you study, there’s a good chance he’s head over heels. Not only is he offering up his free time, but he wants to feel like he’s doing something to deserve you. Such a guy move!
He offers you a ride home. This is a roundabout way of saying he wants to be alone with you and at the same time wants to make sure you get home safely. So cute!
He gives you a nickname. He might as well come right out and say he’s into you, because coming up with a “pet” name, even if it is a joke, shows that he’s been thinking about you and thinks you deserve some special treatment.
Guys Tell It Like It Is: Love Those Pearly Whites!
“The first thing I look for in a girl is a good smile. Then I go for good conversation. If she has both, I’ll definitely ask her out.” — Will, 17
He does something to impress you. Whether it’s winning a basketball game or telling you he aced his physics test, he wants you to see what a hot commodity he is. And as Madison, 17, says, “I like guys that try to impress me. I think it’s kinda sexy.”
Girl Talk: Go for It!
“The best way for a guy to get my attention is if he just straight out asks me out or if he tells me he likes me. Hands down, that takes guts .... ” —Jasmine, 17
“I think it’s really attractive when you see a hot guy, and then he just gives you this certain smile that makes your heart melt. That’s usually when you can tell a guy is into you. Or when they see you or are saying good-bye and give you a hug — not a stupid hug but one that they hold for a little bit.” — Mimi, 16
Today show
Ttl Flrt 
June 3: TODAY’s Al Roker talks to Sarah O’Leary Burningham, author of “Boyology,” and parenting expert Michele Borba about how teen girls can protect themselves from broken hearts.
Texting and IMs will never replace good old-fashioned face-to-face flirting, but they can be a great way to get things going, especially if you get tongue-tied when you chat with a total cutie. Not only is texting super convenient, but it gives you a little breathing room to gauge how he feels, too. A 2007 Associated Press/AOL poll shows that 43 percent of teenagers IM things they wouldn’t say in person. Hmmm. I wonder what they’re saying!
A Few Things to Remember When Text Flirting
Keep it short and simple. Any conversation that’s going to be longer than two screens is too long for a text. Not only can it get annoying to flip through the message, but guys can have short attention spans. If you have lots to say, just make the call.
Don’t send text after text after text. Text messages should be a short version of a conversation, so let him reply to you before sending another one. You don’t want to be the only one having the conversation.
Sometimes text flirting gets lost in translation. Before you flip out because he sends you a “c u” message, make sure you know exactly what he means. He probably isn’t breaking up with you, just turning his phone off for class.
Celeb Shout-Out!
“I do a lot of text messaging. It’s easy to flirt with girls via text. You throw the little Xs, the little smiley faces .... But if the texts continue for more than three or four trades, you’ve got to make the phone call.” — Chris Evans, actor
Extra Credit
Quiz: What’s Your Flirt Style?
Answer Yes or No to the following questions to figure out what kind of flirt you are!
1. When you see a cute guy at a party, you go over and start a conversation with him.
2. You ask guys out more often than they ask you out.
3. You have more guy friends than girlfriends on your MySpace.
4. You’re pretty sure the guy you like knows it.
5. If your friend sees a hot guy at a concert, you’re the one who asks for his number.
6. You kiss every guy you go out with.
7. Your friends get jealous because you get all the guys.
8. You check your crush’s MySpace page every day, if not every hour.
9. You know all of your crush’s friends.
10. More than one person has called you a “total flirt.”
Scoring:
If you answered Yes to all 10 questions, you are a CONFIDENT CHICK.
If you see something you want, you aren’t afraid to go for it. Most of the time, that’s one of your best qualities, but sometimes you come across as too confident and too much of a flirt. It doesn’t hurt to leave some things to the imagination. So next time a guy asks what you’re thinking about, don’t say ”you” — even if you can’t get your mind off of him. Keep him on his toes!
If you answered Yes to 5–9 questions, you are a SELECTIVE SWEETIE.
You are the perfect balance of flirty and friendly. You don’t try too hard to be sexy, and you don’t spend all your time thinking about guys. (But you are willing to make the first move if he isn’t taking the hint.) Your mix of flash and modesty is one of the reasons guys think you’re so hot!
If you answered Yes to fewer than 5 questions, you are a BASHFUL BABE.
There’s nothing wrong with shying away from flirting if there’s no one you’re interested in, but make sure you aren’t avoiding it just to save yourself from getting hurt! Love and relationships are risky, but they’re totally worth it. Don’t be afraid to put yourself on the line once in a while! Let loose a little. Flirting is meant to be fun!
Excerpted from “Boyology: A Teen Girl’s Crash Course in All Things Boy” by Sarah O’Leary Burningham. Copyright (c) 2009, reprinted with permission from Chronicle Books.
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