HotmailBoys 101: Writer offers teen girls a crash course
Guys Tell It Like It Is: What’s Hot and What’s Not
“I think it’s hot when I see a girl and she smiles at me. It’s like she wants me to come talk to her.” — Patrick, 16
“It’s a total turnoff when a girl has a dirtier mouth than I do. It doesn’t make you tougher to swear. It just makes you look pathetic.” — Evan, 16
“I love it when a girl wears my baseball hat.” — Zach, 16
“Any girl I go out with has to like my dog.” — Carter, 16
Grant on . . . Spontaneity
I loved dating girls who were up for anything. I remember, when Sarah and I were first dating, we were on a hike and I convinced her to go swimming underneath a waterfall. The waterfall was actually runoff from a glacier, and the water was so cold you couldn’t breathe. There were tons of people around, but no one would dare get in the water. I waded in and, after feeling how cold it was, told her she didn’t have to do it, but she dove in headfirst anyway, and I had newfound respect for her. None of the other girls I’d gone out with would’ve ever had the guts to jump in.
Taking Matters into Your Own Hands: How to Ask Him Out
After two months of flirting during physics class, you can barely take it anymore. Why can’t your lab partner just man-up and ask you out?! Sometimes guys are so shy, they might never get up the nerve to call and ask if you want to hang out on Friday night (like it’s that hard). You might have to be the one to take the plunge.
Some girls don’t think it’s cool to be the one doing the asking, but remember that we aren’t living in the early 1900s anymore. Our feminist sisters didn’t fight for our rights for nothing! So unless you are seriously opposed to women asking men on dates, take a deep breath and make the call. It’s not like you’re asking him to spend the rest of his life with you. It’s just one night. And if you’re super nervous about letting him know you’re into him, ask him to come hang out with a few people. Remember, there’s safety in numbers.
Girl Talk: Would You Ask Him Out?
“If you’re a girl, and you’re brave and confident enough to ask a guy out, I say GO FOR IT!” — Lindsay, 14
“I used to wait for guys to make the first move, but now I’ve found it’s better to just do it myself so I won’t have to sit around waiting and playing games.” — Lyndie, 17
“[The issue of] asking guys out is one of those things that makes me an embarrassment to the feminist movement. I never ask [guys] out on dates. I think the guy should make the first move. Otherwise, what is he? Shy? A pushover?” — Heather, 16
“I don’t ask guys out on dates. I try to give enough hints, gestures, and contact to let them know that I’m interested, and then they pick it up from there.” — Jessi, 15
When Teen magazine asked JJ from NLT how he’d feel if a girl asked him out, he said, “I think it would be absolutely adorable because it shows that she really likes me and doesn’t care what other people think.” What a guy!
Today show
How to Ask Him Out Without Actually Asking 
June 3: TODAY’s Al Roker talks to Sarah O’Leary Burningham, author of “Boyology,” and parenting expert Michele Borba about how teen girls can protect themselves from broken hearts.
You know you like him, and you think he feels the same way. At some point, someone’s going to have to make a move. Here are a few ways to suggest that the two of you get together without spelling out the fact that you’re dying to go on a date with him.
1. Pick up some movie passes and, the next day at school, pull them out of your bag while he’s around. Mention that you’re dying to see the latest Jessica Alba flick. Maybe he’d be interested in tagging along?
2. You’re going to a party and want to make sure he’s going to be there. A simple text saying you’ll look for him that night says it all.
3. Bump (yes, literally) into him before lunch and say you’re running out to grab a bagel. You’d love some company. (And what guy can turn down food?)
When He Won’t Take the Bait
You’ve tried everything and still can’t seem to get through to the guy? Either he’s going blind (in which case you’ll have to rely on your melodic voice and passionate conversational skills to win him over), or, more likely, he’s “just not that into you.” Harsh, but you don’t want to waste your flirting finesse on someone who’s not interested. Here are a few telltale signs that it’s time to move on:
He blows you off on a regular basis. Whether he forgets to call you back, doesn’t return your e-mails, or ditches out on Saturday night plans, if he’s not reciprocating the communication, it probably means he doesn’t care to communicate at all.
He tells you what a great friend you are. By reinforcing your “friend” status, he’s saying he doesn’t want to take things to the next level.
You see him flirting with other girls. While this might not necessarily be directed at you, it’s a definite sign his heart is somewhere else.
She’s Been There
“I really liked this guy, and for a while I thought he liked me back. We talked a lot and kind of flirted in class, but every time I asked him to do something, he already had other plans. Then one night I asked him to go to this party with me, and he said he had a family dinner. I skipped the party since I didn’t have a date and went to a movie with my mom. Guess who was there on a date with another girl? I just wish he wouldn’t have led me on if he liked someone else.” — Cassie, 17
Clandestine Crushing
Part of the fun of crushing on someone is talking about it, but remember to be discreet and refrain from posting all your feelings on MySpace. Telling the whole school you’re in love with your lab partner could get embarrassing, both for you and the guy. It might be cute at first — what guy doesn’t like being the object of someone’s affection? But after a while, it will just get annoying and seem really junior high. (Not to mention, you don’t want your former feelings following you around forever once you’ve started crushing on someone else.) Instead of blabbering about him to everyone, just keep it between a few good friends — but feel free to gush to them all you want!
Grant on ... Flirting
The first phase of any flirting is eye contact, whether you’re twelve or twenty. It’s tough being a guy because you’re always afraid of putting yourself out there. You don’t want to be rejected. That’s why girls have to step up a little. If he’s giving you sidelong glances, he’s into you, but he’s trying to play it cool. If you’re interested, smile back or something, so he knows he’s not about to look like an idiot when he comes up to talk to you.
- Discuss Story On Newsvine
-
Rate Story:
View popularLowHigh - Instant Message
MORE FROM TODAY BOOKS: RELATIONSHIPS |
 Is there a link between dogs and divorce? |
| Add Today Books: Relationships headlines to your news reader: |
Sponsored links
Resource guide