Recession survival guide for stressed moms

What makes the stress for women different from the stress men feel? Moms have historically been the ones who keep the family together, but when mothers reach their boiling point, the family structure starts to break down.

In response to the current economy, psychotherapist and Momlogic.com parenting expert Jill Spivack created a recession survival guide to help women develop coping strategies that include how to reduce costs, minimize stress and maintain healthy relationships.

Take care of yourself:

You are not alone
First and foremost, you are not alone. No matter how isolated you feel, you are not the only person/family going through this. And rather than turning to vices, turn to your spouse, parents and friends who can support you and help you get through this difficult time. 

Increase physical activity
If you increase your physical activity level, you will relieve stress. We all know it, but frequently in times of crisis, for whatever reason, we don't do it. Exercise, sports, deep breathing, meditation and yoga are all proven to relieve stress. Even if you can get in 15 minutes of exercise or meditation after the kids go to bed, that will help decrease your anxiety.

Maintain a positive attitude
Acknowledge that economic downturns can be frightening to everyone, but the economy will turn around. You need to stay positive, and you can do that by making a list of the things you feel are blessings in your life and posting them up where you can review them daily.

Improve your marriage:

Of moms with partners who have lost their jobs: 

• 50 percent say they spend more time fighting and less time having sex
• 50 percent feel they work harder than their partner to improve the situation
• Less than 50 percent say their laid-off hubby is helping out more even though he's home more
• 46 percent fight more
• 44 percent are having less sex
• 30 percent feel less attracted to their spouse

Communicate your feelings to one another
Talk to your spouse about making a strong commitment to your marriage during these tough times. It's easy for couples to fall into despair and depression when there are money issues, but the worst thing either of you can do is to isolate yourselves from each other and stop communicating. When you communicate, speak from the heart about how you're feeling and don't attack or blame each other. And be sure to try to empathize with how the other person is feeling about things. Acknowledge that you're both stressed about your financial situation but that you need to keep a healthy marriage your No. 1 priority. Remind each other of your future goals and dreams as well as the blessings you currently have around you — kids, good friends, health. Commit to getting through this as a team!

Figure out solutions and work as a team 
You may decide that because you know what you're spending on the home front, you'll make a list of all the wants versus needs for the household and kids and try to scale back what isn't necessary. Take on specific tasks to help each other and your family to get beyond this crisis. Be honest with one another about all expenditures and what the reality of your finances are at the current time. Don't hide information or lie. Your spouse can focus on what he can do to increase income if he is the working parent. Brainstorm solutions together and work as a team.

Helping your kids:

Explain the situation
Explain to your kids that our world is going through some tough times with money right now and that this has happened before and things wind up getting better. You don't need to reveal the more intense details of the economic crisis — just let them know that you'll all be pulling back on certain expenses for a while. You want to inform them but not scare them. Tell them that most families are deciding for a while to look at what they really need and to watch their spending on other stuff.

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Make sure they know you're watching out for what's important and you'll always take care of their needs. They'll feel safe knowing that you are in control of the situation. Make sure to spend lots of time doing activities that encourage love and togetherness so your kids will see that it's possible to remain more connected than ever, even if money is tight. 

Teach family values
This is an opportunity to show children that even if money is tight, the true meaning of happiness is a loving, close-knit family — no matter how much money you have.

Spell out what you will spend money on
The conversation might go something like this: "We've decided that for this year, we won't be going on a faraway family vacation so that we can save some money. But we thought that over the summer, we could go on a family camping trip nearby. We'll make s'mores, go on a hike and ride our bikes together."

You might also ask your kids if they have some good ideas about things you can do on the weekends/holidays together that would be fun but wouldn't cost too much money.

Family initiatives:

Start a neighborhood meal swap
A great shopping solution is team up with friends or neighbors to shop at warehouse stores like Costco or Sam's Club and split bulk items to save money. You can use these groceries to cook on designated nights for each other's family. For instance, if you start a meal swap with two other moms, you'll cook Mondays and Tuesdays, Mom No. 2 cooks Wednesdays and Thursdays, and Mom No. 3 cooks Fridays and Saturdays.

Start a summer camp on a shoestring
Camp fees can be really steep. Instead, enlist four other moms to start a summer camp with you — each of you takes the kids one day a week and you plan something fun and creative without being costly. Build forts in the backyard, go on scavenger hunts … your kids will get to be with friends and you'll get some time off too!

Host a clothes-swapping party
Freshen up your family's wardrobe for free! Gather up things you're not inclined to wear anymore and swap with your friends.

Get fit by starting a neighborhood walk party
You watch the kids one night while your neighbors walk, and they watch your kids another night while you walk. This is a great way to get in shape — and maybe even get some much-needed alone time with your spouse — without any hefty gym fees!

For more great parenting tips, visit Momlogic.com

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