Are you ‘app-noxious’?

With an app for this and an app for that, iPhones and other smartphones are now capable of all kinds of amazing feats. But while our technology has developed by leaps and bounds, human nature — specifically our tendency to become obsessed with shiny new toys — hasn’t changed a whit.

In other words, we’ve officially become “app-noxious.”

“Three of my colleagues purchased the iPhone calorie counter app and are constantly talking about what they ate and how many calories everything is,” says Renate Raymond, a 37-year-old arts administrator from Seattle. “And now they’ve started circulating around the lunchroom analyzing the calories that everyone else is eating. You’ll be eating a burrito and they’ll sneak up and punch in ‘burrito’ and tell you that you’re eating 550 calories. They’re driving everybody nuts.”

Yes, thanks to a wave of popular new apps, our phones are now capable of passing gas, passing judgment, and annoying our friends, family and colleagues in a much more efficient, high-tech manner.

They’ve also granted us the power to instantly correct — and/or alienate — anyone around us in a matter of seconds because of Web access at our fingertips.

“I was at a restaurant with friends and said something about Ralph Macchio being in a movie and pretty soon somebody’s got IMDb (the Internet Movie Database Web site) out on their phone and they’re looking it up,” says Jonathan Acuff, a 33-year-old copywriter from Alpharetta, Ga. “You can’t casually say, ‘I kind of like that guy in that movie’ anymore unless you’re sure he was in it. Now they look it up and somebody else looks it up and they’re like, ‘You’re wrong.’ ”

'Knowledge one-upmanship'
Patricia Wallace, author of “The Psychology of the Internet,” says smartphones, with their computer-like features, open up endless possibilities for human beings. Aside from basic communication, smartphones offer us a chance to unwind, keep our mind active and learn all kinds of new tricks, from Chinese to checkers.

But along with all that power comes the temptation to wield it — usually at whomever happens to come within six feet of you and your beloved mobile.

“It’s knowledge one-upmanship,” says Wallace. “If you can actually click onto that piece of information that applies directly to the moment — to point out the author of that book or what scandal he was involved in — it’s tempting to do it. You have access to a lot more arcane knowledge. It’s not as good as if it just came out of your own brain, but it does mean that you’re very connected. You can look things up and you can be right.”

Albert Ko, a 24-year-old Web entrepreneur from Los Angeles, says he hasn’t just experienced one-upmanship, he’s seen a good bit of one-appmanship, too. There are more than 35,000 apps, or applications, for the iPhone. Research In Motion, which makes BlackBerrys, just started offering apps through its online “App World” in April.

“My friends with iPhones are constantly showing off what our BlackBerrys can’t do,” he says. “You think you’re cool because you have the latest BlackBerry, but they’re like, ‘Well, can yours make fart noises? Can it make ocarina noises? Can it play poker?’ I personally don’t think it’s that cool, but it’s a way for them to say, ‘Your phone can’t do this and we can.’ ”

Not just iPhone users
While iPhone users may well indeed be the star-bellied Sneetches of the 21st century, they’re certainly not alone when it comes to app-noxious behavior.

“My husband and I bought Google (T-Mobile) G1 phones in December and there are tons of free apps you can download,” says Jessica Singleton, a 29-year-old freelance writer from Seattle. “He downloaded this one app, "DeskBell," which makes noises, including a gong, a cowbell and a ‘ding’ like a service bell.”

Unfortunately, her husband began using the app whenever she said something he didn’t like.

“There have been a few times when I'll say ‘Can you take out the trash?’ and I get gonged,” says Singleton, who recently got revenge by downloading “That’s Not Funny,” another noise-making app.

“He got home and I asked him how his day was. When he mentioned he’d lost a bet with a friend, I played the ‘Wa-wa-wa-waaaah’ noise, the one you hear on old sitcoms sometimes.”

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