Plot heats up on ‘Desperate Housewives’

Facing up to middle age: When Tom can't get a job because he never heard of Twitter, he considered a face lift to make himself look more youthful. (Yes, because cosmetic surgery would instantly bring him up-to-date on all aspects of social networking. Couldn't he just read some magazines?) Anyway, Lynette shows him a co-worker who had some unfortunate plastic surgery hoping to scare Tom away from the act, finally confessing that she fears if he looks younger, he'll become unsatisfied with her looks, and they won't look like they belong together any more. There's no sign of any of the Scavo kids, who seem to have all been sent off to that big boarding school where all soap-opera kids go.

Breaking and entering: Karl convinces Bree to help rob her own home to protect some assets. Orson actually takes it rather well, saying that perhaps the robbery was karma for his own kleptomania. And when he discovered that an Italian mask that had a romantic meaning for him and for Bree is missing, he orders a copy made from the Italian shop where it was purchased. But then he accidentally discovers that Bree is renting a storage unit, opens it, and discovers all the stolen items there — including the mask.

There but for the grace of God: When Gaby tries to make Juanita volunteer at a soup kitchen so the girl will appreciate what she has, she's stunned to see an old friend, Fran, from the tennis club. Gaby gives the woman money and probes to find out what drove her down. Was it alcohol? Drugs? Gambling? Fran tells her that it was nothing like that — her husband became ill and lost his job and his insurance and eventually died, leaving his wife broke. Gaby tries to tell herself it could never happen to her and Carlos — after all, didn't they spring back after his blindness? But the look on her face tells viewers she's not really convinced.

I'm getting married in the morning: Susan learns that if she does wed Canadian Jackson so that he can stay in the country, she will legally lose her alimony from Mike. In the meantime, Mike finally tells Katherine they should get married, but a sharp Katherine figures it's because he knows Susan is about to become unavailable. When Susan asks Katherine to tell Mike about the alimony issue, Katherine lies that she will. She later sends Susan a fake text from Mike saying he'll keep on paying, so Susan gleefully prepares to become a bride. But then the immigration officials come to take Jackson away, with a smirking Dave, who obviously called them, watching in the background. No wedding for Susan, but in the show's last clips, Mike does give Katherine her ring.

Tune in next week: Warning, spoilers! Next week's finale does indeed look juicy. Orson says he's not afraid to turn in Bree for the robbery, Lynette wonders if her cancer has returned, and in a weird video snippet, Creepy Dave confesses to murdering M.J. Delfino. Now, we know all of those things won't happen — especially the M.J. thing — but it's promising enough to deserve a three thumbs-up on the TiVo.

Quote of the week: "It's Canada, it's not Iran. It's like America, with free health insurance." --Susan to Jackson.

Runner-up quote of the week: "Now, may we please finish robbing my home?" --the ever-polite Bree, to Karl.

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