‘Desperate’ proposal saves Susan's life, for now

O Canada: Jackson told Susan he wanted to marry her, and she rhapsodized about their love before he added that it was just so he wouldn't be deported back to the wilds of Canada. She fumed for a while, being Susan, but eventually agreed. She didn't know it, but the decision saved her life. Creepy Dave was set to take Susan and MJ on a fishing trip to Bass Lake, and he planned to be the only one coming back alive. But when Susan and Jackson announced their whirlwind wedding, the fishing trip came off the hook.

Birthday bash: MJ had a birthday party that led to two plots. First, Katherine bribed MJ to ask Mike if he had plans to marry her. Mike finally revealed that he didn't know if he ever wanted to marry again, breaking Katherine's heart. Also, when Bree tried to hire Susan's ex, Karl, as her fierce divorce lawyer, he demanded she get MJ to invite his bully of a son, Evan, to the party. MJ didn't want to at first, but when Bree confessed she had a bully of her own in her life (meaning Orson), MJ relented, and Evan came to the party.

Sex machine: Inspired by a book, Lynette and Tom made a pact to have sex every day for a month. But Lynette's work kept getting in the way, and once she fell asleep mid-attempt. Tom finally confessed that the pact had become too important to him because he had nothing to do all day as a househusband. He didn't know what he wanted to do with his life, and was finally admitting it.

Facing up: When a kid at Juanita's school teased her that she couldn't possibly be beautiful Gaby's child, the young girl snuck out of the house decked out in Gaby's makeup. Carlos and Gaby tried to tell her makeup wasn't necessary, and ended up promising that Gaby wouldn't wear makeup to a dinner honoring Carlos. She didn't, but ended up stealing some from a woman in the ladies' room, thus disappointing Juanita. She finally confessed that her beauty had gotten in the way of the rest of her life, since she never had to work hard at school or at friendships.

The clock keeps ticking: Remember the club fire, set by Creepy Dave to cover up the murder of his psychiatrist, who'd come to town to try and stop Dave from seeking revenge? The authorities do — they've finally identified the shrink, and it can only be a matter of time (two more episodes, to be exact) before they figure everything out.

Bully pulpit: When MJ was trying to explain to Bree why he hated Evan, he told her, "he hit me with a dead squirrel." Yeah, that would do it.

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