HotmailTrying to conceive? Nancy O’Dell has advice
The ‘Access Hollywood’ co-anchor writes a book on becoming a mother
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In her new book, the “Access Hollywood” co-anchor shares insights on mommyhood, from tips on how to have fun getting pregnant to the unexpected changes that happen to your body once you do. An excerpt.
Chapter one: Pre-conception
My husband, Keith, and I always knew we wanted to have kids. So after we had been married for a while, we wanted to expand our family. Keith already had two beautiful boys — Tyler and Carson, whom I adore — from his first marriage; they have their mom, and I’m their “Nommy,” their Nancy mommy. But ever since I was young, I always knew I wanted to have a baby of my own. So there I was. I had met the man of my dreams, we had gotten married, I was beyond happy, and it felt like all the pieces were falling into place. So, let’s do it, I thought. Let’s have a baby!
The first thing I did after Keith and I decided to try to get pregnant was make an appointment with my gynecologist. “What do we need to do?” I asked. “Well,” he said, laughing, “you need to have intercourse. And a lot of it.” Yeah. I knew that one. But all kidding aside, I had questions ... many questions.
The numbers game
I asked my doctor, “How long does it take for women to conceive?” The answer: Typical fertile couples (and I already knew Keith had swimmers) have a 20 percent chance of becoming pregnant with each cycle and an 85 percent chance of becoming pregnant within one year. It’s true that a year is a long time, and can feel much longer when you’re waiting for that little line to appear on a pregnancy test. But those odds seemed pretty good to me.
Peak time
During that first visit, I also learned from my doctor when women are most fertile. In most cases, you’re at peak fertility one to two days before ovulation and up to twenty-four hours after. The doctor explained that this had to do with the fact that while sperm cells can live two to three days inside of you, an egg survives for only twenty-four hours. Of course, as the doctor told me these things, I was taking meticulous mental notes. Pregnancy, or at least getting pregnant, suddenly seemed much more complicated than I’d initially thought. And to top it off, every celebrity I was covering for Access Hollywood seemed to be pregnant or had just given birth — Angelina, Britney, Katie Holmes, Gwyneth Paltrow, Mariska Hargitay. I could feel the pressure mounting.
Prep work
One thing that didn’t surprise me during my visit to the ob-gyn was when my doctor prescribed a prenatal vitamin for me. As a spokesperson for the March of Dimes, I know how important it is for all women who are even considering getting pregnant to take a prenatal vitamin. Here’s why: Prenatal vitamins are high in folic acid, which can prevent birth defects of the brain and spinal cord (such as spina bifida). Not to mention, a prenatal vitamin helps provide extra amounts of iron and calcium. While a vitamin isn’t a substitute for a healthy diet, it goes a long way toward making sure that women receive sufficient levels of the right minerals to create a healthy child.
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Back to the business of getting pregnant: we needed to have sex and we needed to have a lot of it. Doctor’s orders! My husband wasn’t complaining. But after weeks of diligently trying, when, at the end of the month, I’d get my period, I couldn’t help but feel vaguely disappointed. Common sense told me there was nothing to be concerned about. I had read the websites and knew the statistics. And yet, I still felt defeated.
Several months into actively trying to put a bun in the oven, I decided to get serious. I was determined to address whatever was happening (or not happening) head on. So I began to chart my menstrual cycle meticulously. I bought an ovulation calculator, those pee sticks that can tell you when you’re ovulating; a basal body thermometer to chart my fertility; and — I kid you not — a “fertility scope” (a mini-microscope type of device that you put on your tongue), which supposedly can detect whether you are ovulating based on the composition of your saliva. If there was a product on the market that could help me conceive, chances are I had it. Meanwhile, whenever my husband and I went out, we’d see pregnant women everywhere. And I swear it felt as if every other story I read for Access was about the “Hollywood Baby Boom.” It was starting to feel personal. Why wasn’t I pregnant?
The buddy system
If you’re feeling discouraged, my advice is: find a friend and buddy up. It helps to have sisterly support in your baby-making efforts, as well as someone to make you feel as if you’re not alone in your quest to get pregnant. This really helped me. By happy coincidence, my very close childhood friend Abby was also trying to conceive at the same time. She and I would compare notes and share tips. That way, when another month rolled by and neither of us had a positive EPT stick to show for ourselves, we’d lift each other up with words of encouragement. “It’ll happen next month. You’ll see.”
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