Dr. Phil’s tough love prescription for hard times

By Dorothy Pomerantz

updated 3:51 p.m. ET March 10, 2009

Phil McGraw, better known as the television personality Dr. Phil, has promoted his specific brand of tough love since his first appearance on Oprah in 1998. On his syndicated talk show and through a series of bestselling books, he helps people with everything from weight problems to transgendered kids to cheating husbands.

Now, he's concerned about the way the financial crisis is affecting families and individuals. Money is often cited as the leading cause of divorce. And the stress from worrying about money can often lead to mental and physical illness.

Dr. Phil talked with Forbes about how to get through trying economic times. His advice: Talk it out, scale down and take responsibility for your own bad decisions.

Dr. Phil: I know there is a tremendous amount of fear out there right now. Fear of the unknown because no one knows where the bottom is. Many people are maintaining a vigil on news, all of which is rife with gloomy stories about unemployment, stock market problems and bank failures. As a result, I hear people constantly worry about how this is going to affect their ability to keep a roof over their heads and feed their families. The biggest challenge they face right now is the willingness to get very honest with themselves about the reality of the situation and acknowledge that they have to be willing to live much smaller and much smarter.

Q: How is this affecting families?

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A: There are always lots of problems and challenges in raising a family. Those demands existed before the economic meltdown. Now, all of those pre-existing problems seem worse because of a financial overlay that seemingly threatens the family's survival. Family lawyers tell us that money problems are the No. 1 complaint in divorce. And this is the worst pressure cooker we've seen since the '30s. That means there's more opportunity for conflict which impacts the overall peace and harmony within the family.

We are already seeing an increase in divorce, domestic violence, anxiety and depression. I suspect before long we will begin to see an increase in certain types of physical breakdown. It is very important we have an open and fresh dialogue about the pressures and the resultant reactions.

Q: How do you suggest people cope?

A: It is important to recognize that we are not in this alone. It is very important that people feeling the stress and pressure give a voice to their feelings by talking to others in the same situation. The worst thing that can happen is to get a feeling of isolation and to withdraw from the support and understanding of others.

It has to be said that to every cloud there truly is a silver lining. And maybe the silver lining here is that this is a forced return to more fundamental values that we should not have moved away from. Now that many are forced to do "staycations" instead of vacations, families will be required to entertain themselves and get much closer than they have been in a more fast-paced glitzy life.

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