HotmailMan-datory: Pre-wedding tasks every groom must do
Brides.com offers men a road map to the weeks, months before the big day
 Emma Dodge Hanson |
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Grooms come in two basic types. Type A has approached wedding planning with zeal, eagerly checking out reception venues, offering an opinion on invitation designs, and compiling well-thought-out wine lists. Type B hasn't done anything wedding-related since the proposal. Guys, if you're an A, congrats — and don't stop the momentum; there's still a lot to do. If you're a B and want to upgrade, check out the calendar below, with its list of must-do and optional groom's duties. You get one point for finishing fundamental chores, extra points for going beyond the call of duty.
12 months before
Propose: Okay, you did that already, or you wouldn't be reading (or being forced to read) this article. Did you give her a ring? If not, take her shopping — and practice getting down on one knee. (Five points)
Tell your parents: They like her already, so how tough could this be? (One point)
Talk numbers: Who's going to pay for the wedding? Her parents, yours, the two of you, or some combination of the above? Discuss it with all relevant parties. Be honest, be brave, and be real. (Three points)
9 months before
Visit the officiant with your fiancée: Get used to the word "officiant." This is the man or woman who will marry you and possibly give you premarital counseling. If your fiancée has always dreamed of walking down the aisle to the William Tell Overture or exchanging vows written in haiku, this is the person whose approval you'll need. (One point)
Write half of the guest list: Your fiancée knows your closest friends and relatives, but what about Cousin Ernie from Milwaukee and those nice folks you lived next door to in fourth grade (on second thought, cross off Ernie and the neighbors if you're not in touch anymore)? Write down a wish list of everyone you would like to invite; plan on whittling it down later when you compare notes. (Two points)
Register for gifts: You'll be dining off the plates and drinking from the glasses for the rest of your life too, so unless you don't mind staring at pink china for a few decades, offer an opinion if your fiancée gets too girly with her choices. Think of this as your opportunity to pick out things you both like. And call dibs on the scan gun. (Three points)
Choose your best man and ushers: Pick people with whom you have a strong bond. The buddy you've known since summer camp? Definitely. The blogger who shares your belief that Stripperella was Pamela Anderson's finest work? Definitely not. (One point)
Go see photographers, caterers, bakers, and the rest: Do it because you love her — and because you might get some free cake. (Three points per vendor)
6 months before
Arrange the honeymoon: Think about places that have always fascinated you. Not sure? Consider your hobbies. If you like riding horses, Google "dude ranch." Or try "windsurfing" or "18th-century cathedrals" or "shopping for fabulous jewelry." Oh, sorry, that last one was for your fiancée. (Three points)
3 months before
Figure out your clothes: The guys in your wedding party wear the same thing you do. (The dads can wear something similar or an exact match.) If it's a tuxedo or morning coat, you all need to be fitted, unless you already own formal garb. E-mail everyone the details: store name and address, when to go, what to order. Or put your best man in charge. One point
Shop for wedding rings: Most guys get one. It's like wearing a watch, but smaller and on your finger. (One point)
Deal with the rehearsal dinner: If you're following tradition, this meal's on you or your parents. Ask your fiancée if she has a restaurant in mind. (Two points)
Sign up for dance lessons: Get a few moves down and you'll feel okay when 187 pairs of eyes are staring at you. (Five points)
1 month before
Write the vows: This is the ultimate way to personalize your ceremony. No need to go for a Pulitzer, though — borrow lines from poems or songs. (Five points)
2 weeks before
Get the marriage license: This is usually issued by your local county clerk. Call first to see what, if any, special paperwork you need, such as blood tests (log on to usmarriagelaws.com). Don't put this off — most states have a one- to five-day waiting period between the time the license is issued and the marriage ceremony. (One point)
Day of the wedding
Greet every guest: Even if you're not typically the touchy-feely type, you'll be on such a high after the vows, you'll be bear-hugging everyone in sight. (One point)
Perform the first dance: "Perform" may be setting the bar too high. You didn't take lessons? Just follow your wife's lead and act like you're having fun. (One point)
Do a slow dance with each mom: Tissues, please. (One point)
Make a toast: Grab the mike and say a brief and heartfelt thanks to your bride, her parents, and the guests. You'll be her hero, and there's no sweeter way to begin a marriage. (Two points)
Scoring
35 to 59 points: You're a bride's dream.
20 to 34 points: You're on the right track.
Less than 20 points: Yep, you're a groom.
This content originally appeared in Brides magazine. For more wedding tips, visit Brides.com.
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