Forget networking, tap friends for success

In “The Power of Who,” Bob Beaudine challenges many widely held presumptions regarding how to get the job you want, including the importance of traditional networking. Instead, Beaudine says, you should identify people within your group of friends and friends of friends — as they are the foundation for helping you achieve your dreams. An excerpt.

Chapter one: Whatever I’m doing, it’s not working
Just as we aren’t born with all the skills we need, neither are we were born with a strategy for living. We learn about life by living it, by pushing out on life while life pushes back on us. This is how we create our own space. Old sayings are still around because they usually contain an element of truth. “Life begins at 40” is one we’ve all heard. It’s true because the first 20 years of your life is programmed and controlled by others. The next 20 years is often spent working out a lot of the stuff that was put in during the first 20. Somewhere around 40 you begin to take ownership of your life. It’s here that youthful dreams begin to reawaken. It’s also here where you discover that some of your old strategies for living are going to need realignment if you’re to successfully pursue your dreams and goals.

All our lives we’ve been told that if we work hard, keep our head down, and mind our P’s and Q’s, everything will eventually work out. Really? If that were true, then what happened to our dream? What I hear more often in my role as an executive recruiter is something like, “I’m no closer to my dream than I was yesterday. If anything, it feels even further away. I feel stuck — stuck in a rut.”

But there’s the paradox. My life is filled with so many good things already. I’m blessed. Sometimes I may even feel a little guilty about wanting something more. But that’s actually part of the problem. The things I’m blessed with are the very things that crowd out the dream. My life is filled to overflowing. I’m like an aircraft carrier with so much stuff on the deck there’s no room left for anything else to land. I know the dream is still out there, but it’s become a little fuzzy. It’s just not as clear. A lot of this stuff on my deck needs to be moved somewhere else or just tossed overboard. I sometimes find myself wondering, “Can I even get there from here anymore? Can I make enough money in my current job, which I don’t particularly like, so that I can start doing what I always wanted to do?” The short answer is, “Probably not.”

Here’s more bad news. Only a small percentage of people actually end up living their dream. You may have asked yourself on more than one occasion, “Why that person and not me?” I’ve heard that question asked many times over many years in countless interviews. Surprisingly, I’ve discovered that individuals who are willing to make even a few slight course corrections were able to alter the entire trajectory of their lives. At first a lot of these people thought they needed an extreme makeover, but the good news is that just a small change in strategy makes all the difference.

Out of sight, out of mind
“Inside each and every one of us is our True Authentic Swing, something we were born with, something that’s ours and ours alone, something that can’t be taught or learned, something that’s got to be remembered.”

— “The Legend of Bagger Vance” by Steven Pressfield

Hidden somewhere between laws and principles are universal powers that most people not only ignore but are unaware even exist. These silent powers have tremendous influence in our lives every day. For example, love is neither a law nor a principle but no one would deny its force and impact on our lives. “The Power of Love” is so dominant its felt and experienced by all people everywhere. Another universal power is Darkness. It renders us unable to see. The only way to overcome “The Power of Darkness” is with light. Interestingly, light can be measured but not darkness.

But there is yet another unseen power that works with equal or even greater force than love or darkness. It operates below the surface of our conscious awareness but with such profound force that it must be considered one of the supreme concealments of all time. This force is “The Power of Forgetfulness.” It can secretly overtake our thoughts and emotions like a giant glacier silently advancing through a canyon. “The Power of Forgetfulness” can be all-encompassing as in people with Alzheimer’s disease or other kinds of dementia. Or, it can be as benign as not remembering where you left your keys. In its more subtle and dangerous forms, however, it can undermine our dreams and professional lives in often devastating ways.

MORE FROM TODAY BOOKS: MONEY

Jim Cramer: How to invest in current economy

Jim Cramer: How to invest in current economy Help! I'm buried in bills and my credit is bad Rules of dating can help you land a dream job   Young millionaires share their secrets High gas prices may be good for us, author says How ‘The Roof Caved’ on Wall Street ‘Gift to My Children’ teaches about money, life Reach financial goals in your 20s and 30s How to ‘Fight for Your Money’ Be savvy! 10 ways to save on groceries   Add Today Books: Money headlines to your news reader: