Robin McGraw: Look and feel young at any age

As a result, I have made it one of my life’s missions to achieve and maintain the best state of health I possibly can. It has become a passion, hobby, and commitment that has often involved hours a day scouring the Internet, reading books, and interviewing experts to learn everything I can about women’s health. My goal has always been to find every tool possible to influence the pace with which I age and discover the best way to do it with grace. But that day my mother died, I didn’t just promise to do this for myself; I promised to do it for other women too. I wanted to share what I was learning and help them understand that taking care of yourself and becoming an active manager of the body which God has given you isn’t selfish — it’s essential. And that is what this book is about.

Back when I made that vow, the “other women” I was thinking about were the other soccer moms and my close friends and family members. But today, God has led me on a path in my life and blessed me with the opportunity to share this important message with women everywhere. You may think, Why are you any different than any other fifty-five-year-old woman? The only difference is that thanks to my husband’s worldwide television show, Dr. Phil, I have the privilege of being able to talk to women all over the world about the issues I feel passionate about. I’ve had a chance to reach out in many ways — like speaking at the Women of Faith conference and appearing on shows like Rachael Ray — and the more women I talk to, the more I’m inspired to keep talking. My feeling is that because God has given me this unique opportunity, it would be selfish for me not to seize it. Even if just one thing in this book changes the life of just one woman, it is my obligation to share what I’ve learned. I feel very strongly about that.

In these pages, I’m going to tell you the most important things that have influenced my physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual journey through this life. We are certainly going to talk about some fun things in these pages, such as hair, makeup, and fashion, but it’s important to build all of these outward manifestations on a solid foundation of good health and well-being. One reason I’m passionate about this is because I know that in order to be the best wife, mother, daughter, sister, employee, or anything else you want to be, you have to first take care of yourself. Phillip has always said that we are like bank accounts — if all we ever do is make withdrawals of time, emotion, and energy for everyone else and we never put anything back, we will end up emotionally bankrupt. By taking care of your health, you give an amazing gift to those who love and care about you. That’s why I say to you if you love your children — and I know you do — take care of their mother first. If you love your husband, take care of his wife first. If you love your parents, take care of their daughter first.

In the seven seasons of the Dr. Phil show, I’ve had the pleasure of taking many deserving women through makeovers. These transformations have varied from on-the-spot makeovers where we redo women’s hair, makeup, or clothes to month-long (or longer) makeovers where we give the women access to top experts in areas such as fitness, nutrition, skin care, fashion, beauty, and health.

Though the whole process of working with these women is an honor for me (and a lot of fun too), it is what happens after the makeovers that I love the best. So many of the women call or write me when they return home and tell me that their makeovers were more than skin deep. Sure, they lost weight, got new haircuts, and discovered which clothes really flatter their figures. But so many of these women say their internal transformation was the most life changing. After many years of putting themselves last, they finally realize that they’re worth some time, attention, and care. They have more confidence when they look and feel their best, and this improves every aspect of their lives. They tell me they finally feel like the women they were meant to be. One particular woman who had been part of a thirty-day makeover stands out in my mind. She came up to me after we taped the last show, held my hand, and with tears running down her cheeks said, “I will never, ever go back to the way I was. I am going to go forward with the new me. Thank you for changing my life.”

What amazes me is that I always go into our makeover projects wanting to make a difference in these women’s lives, but in the end these women make a difference in mine. They have inspired me to continue sharing this message of self-care, not self-neglect, and they have inspired me to write this book. The other women who motivated me to put my pen to paper are the thousands and thousands who email me every month. These are women who want to change their lives but aren’t sure how.

There are certain sentiments I hear over and over again, and it breaks my heart that I can’t personally help each one. Here are just a few examples of what these women are saying:

• “I’m forty-two years old, but feel like I’m sixty-two.”
• “For years I’ve let myself go, and now I don’t know how to get the old me back.”
• “I have lost my glow.”
• “I miss the woman I used to be.”
• “I’m so afraid of getting older.”
• “I want to feel healthy and alive again.”
• “I feel like I am falling apart.”
• “I want to have some sense of pride when I look in the mirror.”
• “I want to make myself feel better so I can be the wife and mother my husband and children deserve.”
• “When I look in the mirror I see three words: tired, sad, and old.”
• “I hate how I look so much that I hide in the house, too embarrassed to show myself to the world.”

If you have any of these thoughts, you are not alone. After reading many, many e-mails like these, I knew I had to write a book not only to answer the questions women have about what I personally do, but also to share some of the important resources I have found and to remind you that you are worth it. It’s time to take yourself off life’s back burner! My mother’s early death taught me that it doesn’t make you a better wife or parent if you’re sacrificing everything — including your health, soul, and spirit — for your family. I want you to join me and get excited about living your life in a passionate, happy, and healthy way.

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