Look out, Weezie — it's late-night election jokes

updated 2:16 p.m. ET Oct. 30, 2008

NEW YORK - As the presidential campaign enters the home stretch, late-night TV hosts aren't letting up. A selection of jokes from Wednesday:

"Earlier tonight Barack Obama aired a half-hour infomercial to attract more voters. Apparently, if you watched the entire infomercial, Barack threw in a free set of Ginsu knives or a Bedazzler."
— Conan O'Brien, NBC's "Late Night"

"They now say that there may be some friction between John McCain and Sarah Palin. Staffers suspected there was something wrong when McCain started referring to Sarah Palin as ‘that one.'"
— David Letterman, CBS' "Late Show"

"It was on this day in 1846 that the Donner party left for California. As you know, everything went wrong and they wound up eating each other — kind of like what's going on right now in the McCain campaign."
— Jay Leno, NBC's "Tonight" show

"Not a great day for Cloris Leachman. She was voted off ‘Dancing With the Stars' last night. It seems that America can't wait until Election Day to vote against a senior citizen."
— Craig Ferguson, CBS' "Late Late Show"

"During a speech earlier today, Barack Obama accidentally mixed up his black sitcom characters and said that Weezie from ‘The Jeffersons' was a character on ‘Sanford & Son.' And just like that — the election is wide open."
— O'Brien

"On a campaign bus trip, John McCain actually snubbed Sarah Palin ... But listen, to be fair, here's what actually happened. She was busy, on the bus trip, in the rear, out the window, shooting squirrels."
— Letterman

"It's not looking good for McCain. In fact, today he went down to Ikea because I think he realized this could be his only chance to put together his own cabinet."
— Leno

"Although the press continues to say there are problems between John McCain and Sarah Palin, today Palin denied there was any dissension between her and McCain. And she said she has also agreed to keep him on the ticket."
— Leno

"More Republicans endorsing Barack Obama. Great. Now Republicans will have to suppress their own turnout."
— Stephen Colbert, Comedy Central's "The Colbert Report"

"Do you like John McCain and Sarah Palin together? It's fun to see them. They remind me of a couple of cruise ship grifters. McCain looks like the old guy taking his secretary to Las Vegas, doesn't he?"
— Letterman

"I don't pay attention to polls. I just count lawn signs. So get ready for President ReMax."
— Colbert

"A presidential term is four years, the campaign has lasted six. And of course, you know, when they have the election next week, the winner of that election meets Hillary in the finals."
— Letterman

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