OMG! How to spot a ‘Drama Queen’

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They say heaven knows ... so why not see what stars have in store for you today?

If what I’m describing applies to you, but you’re a bit tentative to accept the level of “drama queen,” please don’t disregard this information prematurely. You’re not alone in this category and there’s nothing to be ashamed of. This book isn’t addressed to the “emotional vampires” whom we commonly confuse with drama queens (more on this distinction later). You are among many millions of people, old and young, single and attached, of higher education or not, who are sick and tired of being referred to as “drama queens.” You’ve probably been repeatedly told by others to “stop making mountains out of molehills” and you’re tired of being labeled and judged. Or, maybe, you’re in a relationship with someone you believe is a drama queen (your brother, your mother, your lover, or best friend) and you’re frustrated with the ups and downs. You’ve often thought about dumping the relationship but you’re hoping there’s a way you can become more helpful and possibly improve the connection.

Video
Avoid being a drama queen
Oct. 22: Psychologist Dr. Debra Mandel gives advice on lightening up from her book “Don’t Call Me a Drama Queen!”
Today show
People commonly misunderstand drama queens, believing that they are trying to cause trouble. And while drama queens may enjoy the upside of their dramatics, such as when other people find them amusing and fun to be around, they can certainly do without the downside. But they just don’t know how else to be, since they don’t recognize that their reactions are of their own choosing.

Just in case you’re feeling any shame or reluctance to embrace the concept that you might be a drama queen — especially since the label often carries a negative image — please note the following very important distinction. When I refer to drama queens, I’m not talking about those people who are better termed “emotional vampires” — that is, people who don’t give a rat’s ass about others, who don’t experience any particular distress over the dramatic way they react to the world and the people they encounter, and who would have us believe their lives would be ruined if there were no more Prada bags or Seven jeans.

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Unlike the drama queens I refer to throughout this book, emotional vampires suck the energy from everyone else and give nothing back. They have superficial relationships, at best, and they are permanently committed to seeing themselves as victimized by the world because they have no sense of personal responsibility for their actions. They rarely see their behavior as problematic in any way. Many even truly believe they're entitled to wreak havoc on the lives of their significant others (or even strangers for that matter), and they have a general disregard for the rights of others. True, emotional vampires can be quite comical and entertaining at times, particularly while viewing them on the big screen. But in real life, they rarely change their behavior, let alone seek help, and they can ultimately be very toxic.

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OMG! How to spot a ‘Drama Queen’