Whether you are taking a big financial step or taking the leap to get married, there are five crucial components to making the right choice, says Bishop T.D. Jakes in his new book, “Before You Do.”

• Research: Gathering information and collecting data
• Roadwork: Removing obstacles and clearing the path
• Rewards: Listing choices and imagining their consequences
• Revelation: Narrowing your options and making your selection
• Rearview: Looking back and adjusting as necessary to stay on course.

Curb appeal
Several years ago, my wife and I purchased a new home. We did so after selling our previous home and nearly doubling our initial expenditure for it. I searched ardently through the better neighborhoods in our city trying to find a home that would yield a similar return in the future should we decide to sell. I had found a good house in a great neighborhood and began to discuss with my friends and family the possibility of purchasing it. To my surprise, one of my friends advised me against getting the house. He said, “I know you so well that I can hear your uncertainty in how you explained the value of the proposed home. You seem as though you are trying to convince yourself that the deal is a good one. In other words, thou dost protest too loudly.”

My friend seemed to know that I wasn’t totally happy with the decision to buy that house. It was a great deal, the house would sell easily later, and would no doubt yield a return. The problem was that I didn’t really like the house. I liked the deal — but not the house!

After this observation, I had to reflect. My goal of getting a house with curb appeal — that was marketable for resale — was not equally important as getting a house that I liked. Ultimately, I decided that my enjoyment of the house was a significant consideration that I had minimized.

Friends, many times we make poor decisions because we have decided what success looks like. Due diligence must include a heart check. Is the goal good looks or good character? Wealth or happiness? Safety or excitement? Is the goal a matter of marrying someone who looks good on paper or looks good in person? Is the goal to find a person who is economically sound or emotionally stable? Yes, you are right. It is possible to have both. But neither is possible if you don’t decide that these are the goals. What does success look like to you, what comprises a successful relationship to you?

After looking at over twenty-eight homes all across the metroplex, I made a choice. By the time I was ready to choose, I had examined the return rate on my investment, the likelihood of foreclosure from my loan, a feasibility study that looked at fair market value (FMV), and comparable properties similar to my investment. The difference this time was that I also factored in the importance of liking what I was going to spend a good number of years paying for.

You may not be able to imagine buying a home without this vital consideration. In fact, some people make how they feel about their home, how much they like their home, their number one criterion for its purchase. They don’t consider the kind of neighborhood it’s in, its potential resale value, or where the market for homes in their metro area will be in five years. They only know that it has a great view, new appliances, and feels bright and cheery. Maybe you are less inclined to focus on the business of real estate and have little regard to the profitability of a house. Perhaps you gravitate by nature to the cosmetics of the house and your ability to enjoy it and decorate it. I realize that there are many buyers who are more interested in the feng shui of a house, the convenience of a functional kitchen, and the nearness to schools, and who never consider the resale value.

Both sets of factors — your head and your heart — must come into the equation in making this or any significant decision. You must consider both the hard data as well as the intangible internals.

So with both sets of data in mind, I finally bought a beautiful family estate on some extensive farm land! Farm land here is a good buy, and the house was all my rather large family would need as we grow into grandchildren and in-laws. My new property, with its extensive acreage, provides a home for bobcats, coyotes, and a few hungry Angus cows. Every morning when I wake up to the sound of squirrels playing in the tree outside my window and rabbits scurrying across the grounds, I know that the value of my home is not just the appraisal. It also includes the happiness for which there is no price tag. This reminds me of the MasterCard commercial in which the price of numerous items are listed followed by the value of the total experience, “priceless.”

Small decisions vs. large, financial decisions
There is certainly a difference between making small daily decisions such as what to wear or what to order at dinner versus making a larger decision that will have greater consequences in your life. Large decisions, like making a major purchase such as buying a house, can have ramifications for your financial health for years to come. Moving to a new town or community could affect your relationships with your family and friends and could impact your kids, if you have them, for the rest of their lives.

You are also going to have to make decisions about relationships in your life. Considerations such as whether to enter into one, get out of one, or change the status of a relationship are decisions you’ll have to make throughout your life. And those choices are not as easy as the prevalent Hollywood romantic movies today would lead you to believe. In the movies, things typically turn out happily ever after.

This is not to say that won’t be the case for you. There is nothing more gratifying than a relationship with someone you love and trust, with whom you can share your innermost thoughts and feelings. Having a partner to rely on, to have your back through life’s ups and downs, is one of God’s greatest gifts. But choosing that person, whether it is in a friendship or a love relationship, is a decision. And because life isn’t like it is in the movies, always romantic and easy with a happy ending, you have to make that decision carefully.

Deciding to enter into a committed relationship such as a marriage is a decision that shouldn’t be taken lightly. “Til death do us part” is serious. When the tingly, euphoric feelings of new love wear off — and they eventually do — you have to know who you are and who your potential mate is. Knowing things such as what kind of person they are, their character, their life goals, their moral and spiritual beliefs, whether or not they are emotionally stable and available, any health issues they might have, are all important considerations that we don’t often see discussed in the movies, that aren’t considered very romantic, but that are in fact a very real part of life, and are issues that can wreak havoc on a relationship if not considered.

Spenders marry savers, risk-takers marry conservative investors, and it’s often not until after the wedding that people discover their sweetheart is in thousands of dollars of debt. And in many states, once you marry someone, their debt is your debt! Yet, while couples spend countless hours talking about china patterns, whether they should seat Uncle Bob next to Aunt Winnie at the reception, and whose parents they’ll spend the holidays with, money is something few couples talk about before they head down the aisle. Yet, the number one reason couples give for divorce? Financial disagreements.

More from TODAY Ann Curry fights illness on Kilimanjaro |    23 secret super foods to help you power up Diet tricks of 'The Biggest Loser: Families' 10 tips: How to prepare for a layoff Bird-poo facials? 11 weirdest spa treatments Former Dr. Pepper ‘addict’ loses 117 lbs. Makeover! Single sisters get glam   Animal Tracks  | More photos

MORE FROM TODAY BOOKS: MISCELLANEOUS

Hate your job? Follow your interests

Hate your job? Follow your interests Make smart decisions, skip the regret Dr. Phil: Be prepared for ‘Real Life’ One unique man's slices of 'America' Need a tip? Confessions of a waiter Do dead people watch us? Yes, author says Ex-FBI agent helps decode body language Hit the stack! Top 10 summer reads Gay bishop takes on sacred cows in a new book 'The First 30 Days' are crucial to life’s changes   Add Today Books: Miscellaneous headlines to your news reader: