Cloris Leachman steals the show on ‘Dancing’

They can’t all be winners, as several hoofer hopefuls proved Monday night. The first amateur to show fans what he didn’t have was reality restaurateur Rocco DiSpirito. Karina Smirnoff clearly set up an easy foxtrot routine for Rocco and hoped it would work, but with a score of just 14, she might want to start praying instead of hoping.

Comedian Jeffrey Ross had to know he had major problems when his partner, Edyta Sliwinska, accidentally poked him in the eye before the show. Unfortunately for the funnyman, after a quick trip to the ER and a scratched cornea, his wound was the least of his woes. The man dances, well, like a comedian — think Adam Corolla without the charm. The judges even broke out the rarely used “four” paddles to give Jeffery a total of 12 for the night.

Kim Kardashian claimed she was in the ballroom to have a good time and become a better dancer. Here’s hoping the former satisfies her, because the latter seems unlikely. Even paired with reigning champ Mark Ballas, the reality TV fixture just doesn’t have what it takes to pull off a formidable foxtrot. And, as Carrie Ann pointed out before providing her contribution to Kim’s 19 out of 30, the woman famous for being famous didn’t move her head. Kind of creepy, really.

Unlike Kim’s dance-floor downfall, there’s just no pleasure in seeing Susan Lucci fail. The tiny (really, she’s like her own mini-me) daytime diva tried to channel Erica Kane, but stumbled and trembled her way through a tough cha-cha with Tony Dovolani. The judges found the routine too careful, but luckily for Susan, she should have plenty of time to improve. Erica Kane has one heck of a fan base.

The first flatfoot gets the boot tomorrow, while the rest of the stars take one more twirl on the floor. If past trends continue, the worst dancer won’t necessarily be the one to exit stage right, as that honor’s usually reserved for the least popular of the bunch.

Of course, for the first time in a long time that may be one and the same, namely Jeffrey Ross. If not, prepare to bid what’s-his-name, er — Cody — adieu.

Ree Hines is a regular contributor to msnbc.com

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