For phobics, tall bridge can be a terror

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Learning to cope
Eventually, even a highly phobic person can become desensitized and learn to cope with the misfired fight-or-flight reactions. “You want to do it to the point that you’re bored,” she said.

If you keep going over bridges, you eventually learn to trust that your feelings are frightening but not dangerous.

And if you do start to freak out, Ross says you shouldn’t fight the symptoms; just acknowledge them and try to refocus. If you’re breathing too quickly, try to slow it down. If you’re clenching your hands, relax them. You could also envision your reward at the end — a plate of crab cakes, a trip to the designer outlet mall, sailing on the ocean.

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I had decided to conquer the Bay Bridge in June because work demanded it; I had a conference in Ocean City.

On my way east, the bridge looked ominous, its towers shimmering in the heat and blurred by the haze as I approached. From the car, I could see the boats, only tiny specks in the water. Even worse, I knew it would take me a long 5 minutes to cross, longer in traffic and even longer if my speed dropped off.

Even as I felt the dread creep over me, I was working with my own coping strategies, slowing down my breathing and spinning mind, listening to talk radio and talking to myself. Even though my foot eased off the accelerator and I briefly felt as if I would lose control, I kept moving. It was a demonstration to myself that I could do it, and one more chance to enjoy Ocean City.

At the end of the weekend, it’s time to out-psych the trip back. From my hotel in Ocean City, I call a state transportation number and ask for the name of the drive-over service. I write it down but don’t call.

“I’ll pull over at the outlet center for a break and make a decision then,” I tell myself. I keep going, though.

“I’ll make a decision at the toll booth,” I say.

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The first wave of panic comes when the bridge appears on the horizon. I realize I’ve forgotten there’s no toll booth on the way back. Did I trick myself?

My hands grip the wheel and my heart thunders.

Calm down, calm down. One, two, three, four. Look at the painted line. Breathe. Don’t look over.

Finally, I’ve made it to the top, another success. And it’s all downhill from here.

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