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When sex and technology don't mix
Either way, Spunky Hostess’s script necessitates that this is the only correct answer and that to answer any other way is a lie.
See, in order to proceed with the game, Dude is shown three screens, each featuring a different set of bikini-clad female breasts. Dude must then eliminate the first of three lady contestants going on these qualifications alone.
Dude in the pilot went against expectations, I suppose, by eliminating the set that seemed the least … let’s see how he put it … “animated” (i.e. stiff and unbouncy, in that obviously silicone way). Then it was off to the spa date with the two remaining lady contestants, the shorter one of which became quickly drunk and obnoxious, leading to a lady-on-lady topless massage that nobody, especially Dude, seemed especially interested in.
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Playboy TV Counterintuitive casting of host Iliza Shlesinger, spunky finalist from NBC’s “Last Comic Standing,” provided at least an eentsy big of credibility. I mean, right? |
Long story short, Dude eliminates Drunk Chick only to learn that axing her means losing his chance to win an arcade console featuring all the best games of the '80s. (Mistake!) Dude and Remaining Female go on a final contrived date set somewhere by a swimming pool overlooking Los Angeles where Remaining Female attempts the impossible — eating S’mores sensually. Let’s go now to a paraphrase of their dialogue:
Remaining Female (feeding Dude S’more): “What’s that taste like?”
Dude: “Um. I dunno. Home.”
Female: “What’s home taste like?”
Dude: “Um … what?”
Female: “I asked you what it tastes like and you said ‘home’ and I asked you what ‘home’ tastes like. What’s home taste like?”
UGH! A S’more! Home tastes like a S’more! Dude just told you! With bimbo recall like that, Dude should really go with the mystery gadget. Instead, however …
Back in the studio, Remaining Female learns Dude wins an iPod Boom Bucket for convincing Remaining Female to get naked in the swimming pool. Turns out, an iPod bucket is the perfect prize for the guy for whom getting a chick naked in a pool just isn’t its own reward.
None the less, in the end Dude chose the Las Vegas getaway with Remaining Female rather than the mystery gadget — which turned out to be a home Planetarium of some sort. (Mistake Number Two!) Not that viewers or Dude get to ogle the gadget he might have won — a tiny unsatisfactory thumbnail of the product is instead flashed across the screen. It’s not even good gadgetry porn!
As mentioned previously, I do not subscribe to Playboy TV, so I can’t tell you if this is the quality level achieved by the channel’s entire programming. Since this is an exclusive product of this channel, it’s fairly obvious this show wasn’t made for me … though who it is made for remains a mystery as well.
If it’s soft-core romance one seeks, Cinemax certainly offers a higher quality of entertainment (and that ain’t sayin’ much). Despite the obligatory toplessness seemingly required by the female contestants, you’ll see racier fare on late night “Girls Gone Wild” commercials. And it sure ain’t for geeks, who are well aware that both tech and people porn abound on the Internet.
Now, excuse me while I go watch a real geek turn-on — “Dr. Horrible’s Sing-Along Blog” just became available for free on Hulu — all three episodes!
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