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Dealing with an unexpected death on the road
Lean on someone
If you’ve just lost a loved one on the road, find a support group. When Tara La Bouff’s brother died while he was in Kauai last year, they turned to his employer, US Airways. La Bouff’s brother was a pilot, and was reported missing while snorkeling. US Airways flew several family members to Hawaii to claim the body. “The family was there until we could fly home with him, and were graciously chaperoned the entire time by a team of airline staff,” she recalls. She says turning to the airline was the right move. “We all were amazed by the amount of support it provided,” she says. Many companies have insurance that covers their employees in the event of an accidental death — even when they’re off the clock. If nothing else, an employer can offer much-needed support in a time of need.
Take your time
While handling the details of an autopsy or funeral can take several days, you have to also be patient with yourself as you process a death on the road. You need time, too. When the son of a friend was killed on a surfing vacation in Costa Rica, Bonnie Russell, a Web site publisher from San Diego, Calif., watched the family come together for a memorial service. “Putting together the service saved my friend’s sanity,” she remembers. It wasn’t the first time that she’s dealt with a death while traveling. “What’s needed is the critical time for the brain to process information,” she says, adding, “this takes anywhere from hours to days.” If a loved one has died while on vacation, give yourself an extra day or two to deal with the aftermath of an unexpected death.
Put the event into perspective
Bonnie Arends lost her son, Greg, in a car accident five years ago. His twin, Steve, survived the crash, but was left in a semi-comatose state for six months and today lives with a brain injury that severely affects his speech. Arends was determined to help prevent the tragedy from repeating itself, so she became a spokeswoman for a survey of young drivers sponsored by State Farm that urges parents to be aware of what their kids are doing behind the wheel. “Vehicle crashes can happen in a split second,” she told me. “And from that moment on, life may never be the same again. We can never assume that it will happen to someone else and not us. We need to be proactive in doing all we can to instill good driving technique and habits into all young drivers.”
When a loved one dies while traveling, you can do everything right — including finding the right support group, giving yourself enough time to deal with the shock of losing a friend and making sure your papers are filled out — but still suffer needless pain in your pocketbook. Darryl Roberts, author of “Profits of Death,” says passing away while traveling can be costly. Often, too costly. “The process of using two homes and shipping the body will likely cause the cost to roughly double the norm,” he says.
All the more reason to be wary of come-ons by a funeral home, like buying a pricey “protective casket,” which strikes an emotional chord with most people, he says. As the surviving family member, you’re not just dealing with an industry you probably know nothing about; you’re also in a faraway place, trying to cope with different customs and maybe a different language.
Be careful not to get scammed.
Every Monday, my column takes a close look at what makes the travel business tick. Your comments are always welcome, and if you can’t get enough of my column, drop by my blog for daily insights into the world of travel.
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