OPINION

By Matt Hayes

updated 2:56 a.m. ET July 25, 2008

Matt Hayes

HOOVER, Ala. - Yeah, it was going to be a bizarre day. The elevator door opened, and there stood three Alabama fans.

In pajamas.

"We love the Tide," said mom Debbie, whose two daughters — no more than 6 years old — looked like they were just dragged out of bed. "We don't want to miss him."

Him, of course, being Nick Saban — who in the mosh pit that is SEC media days, is as close to a rock star as you can get.

Yet even Saban was overshadowed on this day — at least, away from the packed first floor lobby where Debbie and daughters waited with a glimmer of a hope of a sniff of the man everyone else on the planet loves to hate.

Upstairs, in the middle of the action, there was bigger news — an event so shocking it actually surpassed The Nicktator's grand entrance. You see, Alabama's arch nemesis, Tennessee coach Phil Fulmer, was getting his comeuppance for ratting out the Tide to the NCAA.

At least, that's the way Alabama fans see it.

As Fulmer waited to be interviewed by one of 18,000 radio stations stuffed in a hallway, two representatives from a Birmingham law firm served him a subpoena in the lawsuit of a defrocked Alabama booster suing the NCAA for ruining his reputation. At least, that's the original story.

Now it appears as though Fulmer was served outside the hotel. At least, that's what reps from the law firm are saying.

Look, people, I can't make this up.

Remember, this is the same conference where a disgruntled fan last year used the Freedom of Information Act to secure cell phone records of former Arkansas coach Houston Nutt and write a scathing manifesto — truth be damned — and place it on the Internet for all to see.

When first asked about the subpoena, Fulmer said he hadn't been served. Then, magically, he proclaimed during a news conference that he hadn't "seen" the subpoena. When pressed on the issue, he interrupted and said, "I've said all I'm going to say about that."

I kid you not, no more than five minutes early, Fulmer told the packed conference room that his team had "a couple" off-field issues in January, and "to the credit of our coaches and players" haven't had an off-field distraction since.

Meanwhile, imagine if you will, the sight of a 300-pound man dodging process servers in the lobby of the Wynfrey Hotel. Allegedly — and at this point, why wouldn't we believe it? — one of the process servers was dressed as a Tennessee fan to get Fulmer's attention.

You don't just dupe Big Phil, everyone.

The intensely awkward, yet utterly delicious 15 seconds of Fulmer squirming on the dais was the last in a day of rich anecdotes that, frankly, I'd pay to see. It's just too easy here.

Throw up a softball, see what sticks:

• Saban on his new philosophical attitude toward guiding players on and off the field: "I'm from West Virginia, man. We don't even know who Freud is up there."
• Georgia's stoic coach Mark Richt, on his team's now famous end-zone celebration against Florida: "I called (Florida) coach (Urban) Meyer on Sunday (after the game). I told him I was a coach desperate to try to get some enthusiasm."
• Meyer, in his soon to be released autobiography, calls the incident "a bad deal." "It will forever be in the mind of Urban Meyer and in the mind of our football team," Meyer says. "We'll handle it, and it's going to be a big deal."

Told you it was a bizarre day.

Just think, Steve Spurrier — the man who once dressed down iconic SEC commissioner Roy Kramer at this event while Kramer was standing in the back of the room — is yet to come, as the festivities continue Friday.

He'll top it all.

If he's dressed in pajamas.

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