Best hotels for an affair

By Danielle Pergament

updated 1:49 p.m. ET Aug. 25, 2008

When former Governor of New York Eliot Spitzer admitted to cheating on his wife, we were shocked. Mostly about where the infidelity occurred: Washington's Mayflower Hotel, where Monica Lewinsky once publicly embraced President Clinton and where JFK's mistress Judith Campbell Exner used to shack up. Not exactly a hotel for a discreet encounter (though, granted, much lovelier than the overlit Days Inn where Spitzer's successor, David Paterson, conducted his own dalliances). If only the Luv Guv had asked us for some secretive suggestions, his political career might not have ended so precipitously. Our requirements: a beautiful room to hide away in, a bed the size of a small country, a fantastic restaurant within room-service distance, and, above all, discretion. Not that we condone such behavior, but if you're going to participate in a little extracurricular fun, here are 12 hotels with no paparazzi, overzealous staffers, or lobby crowds to spoil the fun.

For a complete slide show of the best hotels for an affair, click here.

1. Hotel Sezz, Paris
It's hardly the kind of establishment that offers an hourly room rate, but Paris's Hotel Sezz is perfect for a sophisticated forbidden tryst. This is love, 16th arrondissement–style: a safe distance from the shoppers and tourists of the city's more famous neighborhoods. The 27-room hotel has done away with the concierge process in favor of a more discreet personal-butler service, 24 hours a day. The rooms are big, especially by Parisian standards, and are refreshingly devoid of the fussiness that dominates the city's reputation. Imagine hardwood floors and minimalist decor, accented with a bright red chair or thick, shaggy rug. There's a fair amount of shiny chrome and leather, which is hotel-speak for sex. To drive home the point, the bed stands provocatively on display in the center of the room, and in case the message isn't clear enough, an enormous stone bathtub sits behind a glass wall, with all the privacy of a fishbowl. Then again, you're hiding from the people outside your hotel room, not inside.

Do not disturb:
Hotel Sezz
Tel: 33 1 56 75 26 26
Doubles from $518

2. Rock Water Secret Cove Resort, British Columbia
The tent house suites at Rock Water Secret Cove Resort are sort of like living in a treehouse, but in a four-star, heated-slate-floor kind of way. Overlooking the Pacific Ocean in British Columbia, your private tentlike suite is nestled among the tips of the Arbutus trees, miles and miles (and miles) from civilization, so the risk of bumping into your in-laws is delightfully nonexistent. From the outside, the tent house suites are all rustic charm — nothing but rocks and trees and roiling sea. But inside, you'll find all the luxuries you could want for a romantic escape: a big, inviting bed with views of the rugged outdoors, a wraparound veranda, fireplace, couples hydrotherapy bathtub, and those canvas blinds that you have to roll up so you can pretend that you're camping (but without the icky bugs that can kill romance stone cold dead).

Do not disturb:
Rock Water Secret Cove Resort
Tel: 604 885 7038
Tent House Suites from $399

3. La Passion, Cartagena, Colombia
Don't be misled by the name — there are no sprinkled rose petals, bearskin rugs, or other cheesy details in sight. La Passion, located in the center of Cartagena's old city, is so disguised, with a nondescript wooden front door and a tiny sign at the entrance, that you'd walk right by it if you didn't know better. Luckily, you do. The eight-room hotel is typical Spanish Colonial style from the 1800s. That means stone floors, open and airy public spaces, giant archways, and a sweeping staircase. There's a rooftop bar and infinity pool where you two can float around above the pink and blue buildings and think about what might have been. The real reason to consider La Passion for your assignation are the bedrooms: Each has a wraparound porch made private by a forest of small palm trees, plus a low bed and a huge, looming headboard — and if you're still not convinced this place is built for lust, we'd direct your attention to the double-wide bathtubs right in the bedroom.

Do not disturb:
La Passion
Tel: 57 5 664 86 05
Doubles from $295

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4. Lafayette House, New York City
It's a hiding-in-plain-sight thing: If you're going to engage in untoward activity, downtown New York City is just the place. Around the corner from the nightlife of the Bowery is a fairly anonymous block of East Fourth Street that contains the Lafayette House, a 15-room hotel with an irresistible Hitchcockian draw. Built in 1845, it's the kind of house you duck into, wearing a hat and maybe those short little gloves, to rush into your lover's arms and plot your spouse's untimely death. Or, somewhat less dramatically, have a romantic weekend getaway. All the rooms are done in pre-war style with working fireplaces and andirons, hardwood floors, and carved writing desks where you can pen an early-morning note to leave on your paramour's 500-thread-count pillow. Pay particular attention to room 15, with its king-plus bed, heavy drapes, and deep soaking tub. Best of all, there's no front desk and no one to keep tabs on you or your activity — just call ahead to check in, and a hotel staffer will be there to open the door. If you arrive after-hours, your keys will be left at the very discreet bar next door.

Do not disturb:
Lafayette House
Tel: 212 505 8100
Doubles from $350

5. Guana Island, British Virgin Islands
Guana Island calls itself "more private than private." We're not totally sure what that means, but we like the sound of it. The first thing you should do upon arriving at this independently-owned island is head down to the nude beach, which isn't officially a nude beach — but since this is the private beach that comes with your cottage, you can make your own rules. Officially, Guana Island is one of the British Virgin Islands — 850 acres of lush, private tropical-ness. There are 15 rooms in all, divided among seven cottages and two villas, each set on generous grounds; or, depending on how serious you are about this affair, you can rent the whole island for $20,500 per night. There are no roads, bars, restaurants, or steel-drum bands. It's just you and your, ahem, companion, plus all the private island fixings you could ask for: an infinity pool, outdoor living room, open-air bedrooms, leafy pathways, talc-white sand, and mesmerizing views of the Atlantic (or the Caribbean, depending on which accommodation you select). Just be sure you come prepared to wear your birthday suit.

Do not disturb:
Guana Island
Tel: 914 967 6050
Cottage rooms from $775; villas from $1,650

6. The Witchery, Edinburgh, Scotland
If the name alone doesn't sell you on the dark and gothic nature of the place, its location — a few steps from Edinburgh Castle, in the city's medieval Old Town — will. The Witchery is so named for the hundreds of suspected witches burned at the stake in the 1600s on Castle Hill, a legacy that lends an eeriness to the surroundings. It is mainly known as a restaurant — with lots of dark wood, rich tapestries, red leather chairs, dripping candelabra, and a menu that wins awards — but hidden away upstairs are seven theatrical suites that can accommodate the most dramatic of affairs. After a meal of châteaubriand for two (naturally), a dessert plate of Luxury Witchery Chocolate (their name, not ours), and a bottle of, say, Lafite-Rothschild (why not? — it's our imaginary dinner), the low lighting allows you to slip away in the shadows to one of the suites upstairs. These romantic love nests are outfitted with antiques, a canopy bed, and a gilded, candlelit bathroom, where thou shalt draw — not "run" — a bath in the claw-footed tub. Just don't be alarmed at the things that go bump in the night.

Do not disturb:
The Witchery
Tel: 44 131 225 5613
Suites from $582

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